Gender Affriming Guide

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora

Even though no two gender affirming journeys are exactly the same-there are a number of similar experiences that we all share…The following post is a guide-[my personal take] on what to expect from society ie, their normal reaction to your gradual change..

NORMAL…Pre gender affirmation-

All one gets from society at large is a passing glance your birth sex is taken for granted.

FIRST STAGE…Begin gender affirming process-hormones-

First three months-passing glance…After three to six months somewhat prolonged questioning stares…Some might have an ‘abnormal’ obsession with your appearance…but can’t quite work out why you look different…

SECOND STAGE…Androgyny-gender blended appearance-

Six to eighteen months- By this stage you might already be living 24/7 in your affirmed gender and depending on which side of the androgynous fence the hormone therapy sits ie, how well they have worked….You might still receive prolonged questioning stares still somewhat ‘abnormal’ in appearance or just a passing glance- they perceived your affirmed gender as ‘normal’

FINAL STAGE…Eighteen to twenty four months-full cross gender hormone therapy’s potential reached[on going hormone therapy is just maintenance]-Now living full time in your affirmed gender role…again depending on how hormone therapy as worked- you might still receive prolonged questioning stares or if you’re lucky just a passing glance…’normal’

The trans woman I know who also lives on the island where I live went full time in 2004 and had surgery in 2005 she tends to get mixed reactions from the public…She tells me some strangers see her as female while other may question her affirmed gender authenticity…with prolonged questioning stares.

HOW TO COPE-with the change

There’s no quick fix when it comes to coping with major changes that come from affirming one gender publicly…For some it can be a ‘breeze’ for others a ‘tornado’…But knowing what to expect 'PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LOOK' can greatly help with developing a coping mechanism…For me meditation provided the inner strength and peace of mind I needed-instead of going out in public expecting the worse…I went out each day with the ‘acceptance’ of what was to be expected…which fortunately for me turned out to be just a ‘passing’ glance...

A good positive mantra to use “I’m content, at peace and totally carefree-regardless of what others think of me!”

If it an’t broke-ie, How the public perceives your gradual change, is a normal ‘inquisitive’ human reaction-we all have them when faced with diffrences…

Don’t fix it-ie, knowing this is human nature- ‘natural’ behaviour that we can't change …learn to accept it!

Whatever you do remember to keep a POSITIVE FRAME OF MIND and most importantly enjoy your trip of a life time...you've earned it!

Summary-If all goes well gender affirming should follow the following cycle...first three months-normal...six to eighteen months-'somewhat abnormal'/normal...eighteen to twenty four months-fingers cross...just a 'passing' glance...normal

There’s always exceptions to the rule-so remember this is ‘just’ a rough guide as to what one could expect when out in public ‘the concrete jungle-if you’re lucky your personal journey may just end up being a ‘passing’ glance!…

NO TWO PEOPLE'S CONCEPT/PERCEPTION OF GENDER IS EXACTLY THE SAME !

Metta Jendar

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

For transguys, we tend to be accepted much faster... but they still go through the "Oh my goodness" period when you still look like a fem with a beard.

So far I seem to be dodging the bullets. In the seven months I've been presenting as a guy the only things that have happened are the occasional weird look and a couple of "ma'am"s and "lady"s.

[Guest Mr. Fox]

Yeah, it's easier for FTMs to pass, probably partially because guys clothes are looser. I'm close to the final stage, and I have not started hormones or RLE. The dentist thought I was Dan (my dad's name) today, and I was wearing girls clothes.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Kia Ora

A good positive mantra to use "I'm content, at peace and totally carefree-regardless of what others think of me!"

Metta Jendar

I think Popeye said it best "I am what I am, and thats all that I am" and if someone doesnt like it... too bad for them.... giggles

[Guest AshleyRF]

Uhg... I can't wait till I've been on HRT for 2 years.... Oh well... 7 months and counting.

[Guest N. Jane]

Of course it depends where you start as well.

"As a guy" I couldn't pass for one consistently. As a girl, nobody thought twice. So, for me, the whole thing was kind of backwards.

[Guest AllisonD]

Of course it depends where you start as well.

"As a guy" I couldn't pass for one consistently. As a girl, nobody thought twice. So, for me, the whole thing was kind of backwards.

Precisely. What she said.

Allison

[Guest angie]

I went fulltime at six months because,well,I just could not take being (him)

anylonger.Was I ready?Not even close.When I started insisting on being refered

to and called by my true name and gender,folks were like ooooohkaaay whatever

you say.By the time I left that job,I was told they could see my woman clearly.

That was at seventeen months in,one year in real life.Now at twenty seven months

in,and two years living in role,I am seen as a woman by all,even my family.

I may have jumped the gun going fulltime when I did,but I don't regret my decision.

I would not be as comfortable as I am living as a woman if I had waited.

Hugs and Smiles,

Angelique