Coming Out

[Guest Jess_W]

so as usual deciding to transition means i must come out, some time. TO more than a few friends!

i'm so nervous it's not funny, i should'nt be, it's who i am, but i can't seem to help it, and i keep talking myself out of coming out everytime i come close.

First off there's mom, she'll probably be weirded, get emtional about it, i understand that, i know shel oves me and will come to accept me, it'll be hard for both of us. According to my ex she expects as much anyway lol, so that should be easy, i don't know how much she suspects though.

Second there's my father, not as important to me, but probalby more dangerous, you've seen them before, a closet homosexual who hangs viciously onto religion because the way he was raise, after my mother divorced him he became a born again... coming out to him (we do things once and a whlie) may go many ways, good, bad, ugly, he could throw the bible at me and we could break our relationship as family permanently, i don't really want too, but it's his decision. Of course mabye he could be more accepting and let go of his jelous hate and be himself too, it'd make him a better man really.

most importantly there's my kid, i've seen transsexuals with kids who've had no problems, my x, his mother, she's bisexual herself, she has several transgender, gay, and lesbian freinds, i don't think she'd cause trouble. THen again, she's not always the most promenent truthfull person, and worse than her i fear her mother would try to take him from me for being myself. MOre than once has her mom shown some preceived bias against me..

im not completely sure about the law in texas, or my city. I fear if her mom, or her, would try such a stunt the law of texas might back her up despie that for now i watch my child over 80% of the time, when i'm not working. Not all is far in this war.

ill tell you how it all turns out, but i have to grow the testicles (he he) to come out first.

if anything are any of you familar with law, is their some protection for me as a transexual, in the becoming, or even when i finish, that bars them from taking away my child?

There was some silver lining here, there's rumour that her mom may be going to cali for work, for good (she is probalby also running away from her older son who she takes care off, its a long story, kinda messed up family) if thats so i could come out after she's in the good old natural disaster state, and i know my x wouldn't want full responsiblity of taking care of jaiden so i'd be ok there.

anyway i'm hitting the hay, have to stop staying up late, it's not making me look any better

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Jess,

I thihk you should wait and see whether the beloved MIL heads over to California first.

If she does it will make it a lot harder for her to influence her daughter against you.

Good luck

Rachael

PS Don't stay up so late you will get ugly bags under your eyes.

[Guest angie]

It is never easy coming out to the world.

And you are right in figuring some can't and wont be able to handle the change in genders.Hopefully,your pop does accept you,eventually.But his religious convictions

could definently get in the way of that.Your momma is like my momma was,mom's'

know way more than we give them credit for.And if you were like me,leaving clues

to your true nature,she wont be all that surprised when you decide to tell her who you

are.Texas law will back the mother.If you two have a good relationship,and talk it over

before you make your announcement...You have a better than even chance of having

you child included in your new life.But if your ex decides to be stubborn,the courts will

rule in her favor.Especially being a transgender in conservative texas.

Congratulations for finding yourself and deciding the time is right to come out.

And I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor,hoping that your kid gets to be a part

of your real life.

Big soft hugs of empathy and understanding,

Angelique

[Guest Kayliegh]

Jess -

Before you come out to anyone, you need to talk to a gender therapist!!!

A GT can answer lots of your questions and also assist you in making the right decisions. I was ready to come out to my SO after a few months in therapy, but my GT told me to hold off - I wasn't ready.

Please seek some advice before you take this "big step"; you could regret it if you don't do it right!

Big Hugs! - Kayleigh

[Guest Jess_W]

i don't plan on coming out to my x or anyone else right now,

i did come out to a cousin i trusted the other day, he's the gay cousin that came out to me, he seemed a bit putt off buy it? i dunno. that dashed my spirits.

none the less even before i start seeing a gt i really need to come out to my mother, other wise its lies upon lies upon lies on where i am, the therapist bills ect, and i'm usually not that untruthfull with my mother

on the other hand she's a right winged (Far right winged) fox news fanatic, and we are at odds typically upon political styles, and i'm afraid she'd think thi was some way to "Get at her" for being politically different than her. i mean i know after a while she'd probably accept, i just don't want to start some kind of fight over it.

[Guest angie]

Jessica,

No one is sayingyou(have)to out yourself right now.

This is your journey of self enlightenment and discovery.

Go at your own pace,a pace that you Jessica can handle.

A therapist does not have to cost an arm and a leg,neither

do you have to go weekly.A bi-weekly appointment,even a

once a month appointment is far batter than no appointment.

Going to a therapist is two fold.She is someone fair and impartial,

some body to unload on,that you know what is said in her office

will go no further.That is giant to have a professional just to talk

to.And will/would help you far more than you could ever imagine.

The second part is for the letters of reference that can be obtained.

That leave a trail of your attempts to follow the path that is calling

your name.

But that is up to you Jessica,no one else can make this choice but you.

Your cousin,being a gay man,does not understand transgenders in all

likely hood.To most gays,we are just gay men afraid to admit we are gay.(Truth)

Hugs,

Angie