I Cannot Believe I Did This

[Guest AlexanderG]

I sent an e-mail to a teacher asking him to read my online journal and let me know if he thinks it's worthy of expanding for my final thesis (1/3 of a year's points, 20,000 words).

With a 'heads up' that it's about transgenderism/sexualism. & that I've been exploring this lately. As if the journal itself isn't equal to baring my soul, pretty much. He has a transsexual son, though, about whom he talks openly and with regard - good sign.

"Let me know what you think of all this?"

I sent it and two seconds later went, ehm... holycripeswhatdidijustdo - that sorta thing.

hehe I also added as a PS thata I was sorry about missing last week's seminar but I hadn't finished the book. Dunno if that was very smart, either.

So either he's going to turn out to be as sympathetic a guy as I think he is, --- or not.

There is no one in my 'real world' who knows anything about this... homigosh.

[Guest Robin Winter]

LOL, Hard to hold back when you've made up your mind about something. Might mean to do one thing and it all kinda spews out. Been there. Will be again. Lets hope it doesn't get either of us in trouble

[Guest rachael1]

I hope it works out for you Alexander,

I am impulsive sometimes myself and think later that I shouldn't have done something but it was too late as the horse had already bolted.

Please let us know what his reaction was?

Rachael

[Guest Donna Jean]

Alexander...........

Hon....I do that sort of thing on ocassion, too.....

Leap, and then wish that I could get the post back....

So, your sub concious mind knew that it had to be done!

Cats outta the bag now.......so, just brace yourself and hold on!

Here's wishing you the very best of luck, Hon....

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest AlexanderG]

Hm. The e-mail never arrived. It happens a lot with Unimail.

I'm not sure I'll send it again, not sure what the purpose would be exactly. Though I have no doubts that he'd find it interesting, it's not going to contribute much to anything.

At the end of the course we have to write an essay on one of the novels, and as I'm probably gonna do mine on

Conundrum (a transwoman's memoirs) I might tell him then.

[Guest AlexanderG]

OK, this would be the email. For some reason I want to send it (I figured that I want/need to tell someone in real life aobut this to take it out of the fantasy/pretend realm and place it in the real world, and my real life).

The coming-out part's at the end.

This teacher told us he has a transsexual son in the first class, asked us if anyone wrote a journal and if we'd care to have someone read it, and welcomed the idea of writing a memoir for extra credits.

I'm going to sleep on it tonight, and with your advice / points of critique / encouragement / no!don'tdoit!-s I'll decide whehter or not to resend tomorrow...!!!

Dear ...,

I’m not entirely sure whether this is better communicated via e-mail or in a face-to-face meeting, but I’ve opted for the first because it’s so much easier in regards of timing. I would be happy to agree on an appointment to further discuss the following.

A couple of weeks ago I started a journal, which is (supposed to be going to be) a mixture of past events/memoires, current events, and meta-analysis narrated. I would like to in any case invite you to take a look, as you expressed an interest in journals at the beginning of the course.

However, more than invite you to read it ‘for fun,’ I would like to ask you if you would be willing to assess its potential as a possible thesis project. The thing is that I am currently already working on a thesis, but it’s coming along rather slowly and I’m having some doubts about being able to round it off in time. Perhaps working on two preliminary theses seems like a load, but I find the idea that I might have two options very reassuring. The journal is a project I have been and will be investing time and energy in in any case. I am unsure, however, if it’s of a high enough quality to make it worthy of any ECs – let alone 20. Hence first this question if you think this is at all thesis material and if the option is worth considering, at all.

In addition, there is something I want to point out to you beforehand as well, which concerns the thematics of the journal. It centers, namely, around what I suspect might turn out to be my transgenderism or –sexualism.

That I found one of the novels on the course’s reading list to center around transsexualism, and your explanation for putting Conundrum on the list – now that was eerie coincidence. Hence I suspect you’re OK with the thematics, but I thought I should give you a heads-up about it just to be sure.

That being said – I would be very much obliged if you could let me know what you think of all this.

Thank you in advance,

[Guest AlexanderG]

I re-sent it. I got a reply. He said "yes to everything." He said he sort of guessed 'about me' & that I'll have a sympathetic reader & that he's 'right in the discourse.' Rock on!

[Guest aadenr]

Ha thats awesome! Glad it worked out

[Guest rachael1]

Good news Alexander, you must be relieved?

Rachael

[Guest AlexanderG]

Good news Alexander, you must be relieved?

Rachael

Yes, I was and am!

I've also told an online friend of years, and she really didn't care - rather, she said that if I felt like living as a male, I should go ahead and try it out. Unbelievable ain't it?!