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My Best Friend


Guest aadenr

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Shes my best friend ever, and I really like her, but how do I tell her, or should I tell her that I'm not really bio-male? I mean its so difficult for me, because I don't know what she'll think. Heres a conversation me and her had today online, sorry for anything inappropriate:

(21:50:07) <@Jayyyy> Omg yes

(21:50:25) <@Aaden> im going

(21:50:27) <@Aaden> to my second

(21:50:28) <@Aaden> therapy

(21:50:32) <@Aaden> session tomorrow

(21:50:34) <@Jayyyy> For what

(21:50:42) <@Aaden> for your mama

(21:50:57) <@Jayyyy> What'd she do now

(21:51:07) * @Jayyyy gets the whip

(21:51:10) <@Aaden> lmao

(21:51:24) <@Jayyyy> But srsly yo

(21:52:04) <@Aaden> what

(21:52:05) <@Aaden> lol

(21:52:27) <@Jayyyy> D:<

(21:52:30) <@Jayyyy> Forget it

(21:52:35) <@Aaden> forget what

(21:52:40) <@Aaden> ur penis

(21:52:59) <@Jayyyy> No

(21:53:09) <@Jayyyy> I know it turns you on

(21:53:14) <@Aaden> it doesn't

(21:53:41) <@Jayyyy> Don't lie

(21:53:46) <@Aaden> it doesn't

(21:53:51) <@Aaden> maybe its you who wants me to be gay

(21:53:56) <@Jayyyy> Let your sexuality go free

(21:54:04) <@Aaden> I'm not gay

(21:54:06) <@Aaden> you weirdo

(21:54:13) <@Jayyyy> COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

(21:54:21) <@Aaden> IM NOT GAY

(21:54:22) <@Aaden> D:<

(21:54:23) <@Aaden> D:<<<<<<

(21:54:27) <@Aaden> D:::::::::::::::<<<<<<<

(21:54:33) <@Jayyyy> Fine

(21:54:36) <@Jayyyy> Homosexual

(21:54:56) <@Aaden> if i was gay do you think I would fanatize about

(21:54:59) <@Aaden> you know

(21:55:00) <@Aaden> people

(21:55:00) <@Aaden> lmao

(21:55:06) <@Jayyyy> xD

(21:55:09) <@Jayyyy> I love you too

(21:55:17) <@Jayyyy> I don't really think your gay

(21:55:23) <@Aaden> then stop calling me gay :(

(21:55:25) <@Aaden> it hurts my feelings

(21:55:38) <@Jayyyy> It makes me feel gay

(21:55:44) <@Aaden> you are gay

(21:55:46) <@Aaden> you lesbo

(21:55:55) <@Jayyyy> YES I DO LIKE MEN

(21:56:08) <@Aaden> NO!

(21:56:10) <@Aaden> UR A LESBO!

(21:56:10) <@Aaden> >:o

(21:56:56) <@Jayyyy> l0l

(21:56:57) <@Aaden> :(

(21:57:14) <@Jayyyy> <3

(21:57:36) <@Aaden> </3

(21:57:54) <@Jayyyy> NO

(21:57:59) <@Jayyyy> ACCEPT MY LOVE

(21:58:03) <@Aaden> <3

(21:58:09) * @Aaden runs away

(21:58:54) <@Jayyyy> Immigrant

(22:00:18) <@Jayyyy> What are you going for

(22:00:26) <@Aaden> um

(22:00:36) <@Aaden> cause

(22:00:37) <@Aaden> i am

(22:00:50) <@Jayyyy> 20 questions

(22:01:01) <@Jayyyy> What are you going for

(22:01:52) <@Aaden> cause

(22:01:52) <@Aaden> i am

(22:01:53) <@Aaden> lmao

(22:02:20) <@Jayyyy> WHAT REASON

(22:02:30) <@Aaden> why do you think im going

(22:02:47) <@Jayyyy> Other then the obvious?

(22:02:49) <@Jayyyy> jk

(22:02:50) <@Jayyyy> Umm

(22:02:56) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:02:58) <@Jayyyy> I don't know

(22:03:09) <@Aaden> lmao

(22:03:26) <@Aaden> just make up your own reason

(22:03:27) <@Aaden> and i think

(22:03:31) <@Aaden> that will be good enough

(22:03:32) <@Jayyyy> I have you

(22:03:37) <@Jayyyy> You're crazy

(22:03:46) <@Aaden> okay

(22:03:51) <@Aaden> then i'm going cause I'm crazy

(22:03:52) <@Aaden> >:D

(22:03:58) <@Jayyyy> !k Aaden

(22:04:05) <@Aaden> :(

(22:04:06) <@Jayyyy> OMG

(22:04:15) <@Jayyyy> YOU'RE TRYING TO GET STRAIGHT AGAIN

(22:04:22) * @Jayyyy highfives myself

(22:04:24) <@Jayyyy> Good job

(22:04:25) <@Aaden> omg

(22:04:27) <@Aaden> im not gay

(22:04:29) <@Jayyyy> xD

(22:04:30) <@Jayyyy> I know

(22:04:31) <@Aaden> i was never gay

(22:04:33) <@Aaden> >:o!!

(22:04:34) <@Jayyyy> rofl

(22:04:35) <@Jayyyy> Aaden

(22:04:37) <@Jayyyy> It's ok

(22:04:40) <@Jayyyy> I'm here for you

(22:04:43) <@Aaden> No

(22:04:44) * @Jayyyy holds Aaden

(22:04:45) <@Aaden> you're not

(22:04:49) * @Aaden pushes you away

(22:04:50) * @Jayyyy coughs

(22:04:54) <@Jayyyy> Sweetie

(22:05:10) <@Aaden> gaf

(22:05:18) <@Jayyyy> Griffeatlf

(22:05:36) <@Aaden> i

(22:05:39) <@Aaden> don't think you would believe me

(22:05:43) <@Aaden> if i told you why i was going

(22:05:46) <@Aaden> to therapy

(22:05:54) <@Jayyyy> Try me.

(22:06:03) <@Aaden> yeah i would rather not

(22:06:16) <@Jayyyy> I will

(22:06:24) <@Jayyyy> I'm a very open minded person

(22:06:33) <@Aaden> It doesn't matter

(22:06:46) <@Jayyyy> Just tell me.

(22:06:51) <@Aaden> no

(22:07:00) <@Jayyyy> :(

(22:07:02) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:06) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:06) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:06) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:07) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:07) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:07) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:07) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:08) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:08) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:08) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:08) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:08) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:09) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:09) <@Aaden> i'm scared

(22:07:10) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:11) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:11) <@Aaden> to tell you

(22:07:12) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:13) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:14) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:15) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:16) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:17) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:18) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:19) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:20) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:21) * @Jayyyy cries

(22:07:22) <@Jayyyy> Of what

(22:07:22) <@Aaden> stop crying you cry baby

(22:07:26) <@Aaden> D:<

(22:07:28) <@Aaden> >:o

(22:07:29) <@Aaden> D:<

(22:07:30) <@Aaden> >:o

(22:07:31) <@Aaden> D:<

(22:07:32) <@Jayyyy> Hold me

(22:07:33) <@Aaden> No

(22:07:36) <@Jayyyy> HOLD ME

(22:07:37) <@Aaden> I will not

(22:07:54) <@Jayyyy> I use to go to therapy

(22:07:59) <@Aaden> i know

(22:08:21) <@Aaden> but

(22:08:22) <@Jayyyy> Because I could also hear voices.

(22:08:28) <@Aaden> I'm not going because I'm crazy or anything

(22:08:38) <@Jayyyy> O'raly?

(22:08:43) <@Aaden> yeah

(22:08:53) <@Jayyyy> Why

(22:09:04) <@Jayyyy> What*

(22:09:05) <@Aaden> because I am

(22:09:07) <@Aaden> what

(22:09:13) <@Aaden> you confuse me

(22:09:14) <@Aaden> :(

(22:09:20) <@Jayyyy> OMG

(22:09:26) <@Jayyyy> JUST FORGET WHTA I SAID

(22:09:29) <@Jayyyy> YOU ARE>>>

(22:09:42) <@Aaden> i am what?! >:o

(22:09:53) * @Jayyyy sighs

(22:10:01) <@Jayyyy> (00:24:49) <@Aaden> because I am

(22:10:12) <@Aaden> What

(22:10:19) <@Aaden> Because I am going to therapy?

(22:10:42) <@Jayyyy> Why are you going to therapy.

(22:10:56) <@Aaden> because

(22:11:01) <@Aaden> I am

(22:11:06) <@Aaden> I don't think

(22:11:10) <@Aaden> you would understand

(22:11:15) <@Aaden> or believe me

(22:11:18) <@Aaden> idk

(22:11:28) <@Jayyyy> Well we'll never know if you don't tell me

(22:11:40) <@Aaden> But I'm not ready to tell you

(22:11:46) <@Jayyyy> Ok

(22:11:47) <@Jayyyy> Fine

(22:12:42) <@Jayyyy> ok then.

(22:12:52) <@Jayyyy> How was your day?

She stopped right there, but I know she really wants to know, but I'm scared to tell her, because the whole time we've been friends shes thought of me as a guy, seen me as a guy, and nothing else other than a guy. But if I tell her I was born female, she might think of me differently, and I don't want her too.

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Aaden,

Your friend Jay seems to really want to know what is bothering you to the point that not telling her may lead to more problems than telling her.

The best advice that I can offer is to tell her after the session like you wanted to talk to your therapist before you came out to her - if she is going to stay with you telling her sooner than later is best.

Sher is very interested in why you are going and it seems like she is trying to tell you that whatever it is it will not matter to her, of course I do not believe she is even thinking of this.

Remember at some time you will have to be honest with her or you will lose her over continued deception.

Love ya,

Sally

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Aaden,

Your friend Jay seems to really want to know what is bothering you to the point that not telling her may lead to more problems than telling her.

The best advice that I can offer is to tell her after the session like you wanted to talk to your therapist before you came out to her - if she is going to stay with you telling her sooner than later is best.

Sher is very interested in why you are going and it seems like she is trying to tell you that whatever it is it will not matter to her, of course I do not believe she is even thinking of this.

Remember at some time you will have to be honest with her or you will lose her over continued deception.

Love ya,

Sally

To be honest I'm not even sure what shes thinking. After she changed the subject again, about 20 minutes later she asked me again. I told her that I was seeing a therapist to take hormones, and only got that far, because then she asked me if I was getting a sex change. I denied it, because I didn't know what to say. Then again before she left, she said, "Are you going to tell me now?" I'm pretty sure shes going to keep asking me until I tell her, but it seems so awkward for me to tell her more than anything. I'm not sure if its because I fear she might think of me differently, or what. I just want her to continue seeing me as me, and not as a girl who 'changed' into a guy.

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To be honest I'm not even sure what shes thinking. After she changed the subject again, about 20 minutes later she asked me again. I told her that I was seeing a therapist to take hormones, and only got that far, because then she asked me if I was getting a sex change. I denied it, because I didn't know what to say. Then again before she left, she said, "Are you going to tell me now?" I'm pretty sure shes going to keep asking me until I tell her, but it seems so awkward for me to tell her more than anything. I'm not sure if its because I fear she might think of me differently, or what. I just want her to continue seeing me as me, and not as a girl who 'changed' into a guy.

Hi Aadenr,

got to agree with Sally hun, at the end of the day if you be up front worst case scenario is you

still got your pride, dignity , that you get to keep. Hope you do right by the 2 of ya, Luv, viv. :)

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  • Admin

Aaden, it sounds like she's already pretty much figured it out for herself.

Denying it now and then admitting it sometime later will only make her resentful and angry over your deception.

Sally and Viv are right. If your relationship is as strong as it seems, and she cares for you as much as she seems to,

then it will work out and she will continue to be your friend.

Trust her, and trust yourself.

Carolyn Marie

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Guest AlexanderG

The fact you brought it up, going to therapy, for me says you do want to tell her - even though you're scared.

You have any idea what her take on transsexuality/genderism is, at all?

& just a note --- I think it's not legal to go and post MSN or ICQ or whatever conversations without the permission of both parties. Just a heads up

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