It

[Guest NatashaJade]

This morning in my shop class (yes, I teach a shop class), I overheard one of my students joking with some others about a trans customer at the local supermarket. They finally settled on calling her "it" and then chuckled at their cleverness, as if they were the first to ever use this insulting epithet. I've heard it before in many venures and it has always been difficult for me to keep from blowing up.

It took everything inside me not to start crying right there. Gosh darned! I do not ever want to be an "it" but I know I will face that leering idiocy at some point... It is a cruel world out there and we are easy targets for ridicule. I know no one will ever say it to my face, but I will see it in their eyes and it will break my heart because I'm just not that tough.

love you all

Gin

[Sally]

Dear Gin,

It will never be easy for us but if we continue to educate just one person at a time eventually the people who ridicule will be the ones considered to be odd.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

OMG, Gin......

What a hurtful, cruel, demeaning term.....

Well, Hon...I never want that said to my face about me........Not sure exactly what I'd do....

Cry? Scream?........dunno 'til it happens....

Just awful!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest julia_d]

It .. I was an "it" for years.. I don't care.. better than he or him..

I know some xtn's who would prefer it actually XD

So the rednecks think they are so clever.. good on them.. now you have an insight into some more of the people around you

[Guest NatalieRene]

I know these type of people all too well. These are the sort of people that tormented me all through grade school for no reason at all. One thing I have learned is that in the end these people rack up the bad karma to the wazoo and everything they do that is hurtful eventually comes back down on them. Pity these people and pray for them.

[Guest Robin Winter]

This morning in my shop class (yes, I teach a shop class), I overheard one of my students joking with some others about a trans customer at the local supermarket. They finally settled on calling her "it" and then chuckled at their cleverness, as if they were the first to ever use this insulting epithet. I've heard it before in many venures and it has always been difficult for me to keep from blowing up.

It took everything inside me not to start crying right there. Gosh darned! I do not ever want to be an "it" but I know I will face that leering idiocy at some point... It is a cruel world out there and we are easy targets for ridicule. I know no one will ever say it to my face, but I will see it in their eyes and it will break my heart because I'm just not that tough.

love you all

Gin

Kids always think they're the first to do anything. The way some teens go on these days, I swear they think they invented sex, drugs, and music. Us "older" folks (and I swear, It never occurred to me until now that I would ever fall into that category) don't know anything about that stuff

But yeah, that's harsh, and at the same time, it's par for the course. I've heard the term all my life applied to transpeople. It's hard to decide if I feel like ignoring them, throttling them, or just crying.

[Guest Pól]

When I was about 14, there were a few girls who lived near me who thought they were brilliant by deciding to call me "hesheit." I think I'd take just plain "it" over that, but they're both horrid. I'm sorry you had to hear that from your students, Gin, it's awful.

[Guest sarah f]

Congrats on not letting them have it. I don't know if I could have been that restrained and not let them know how shallow they are. I know it is shop class so maybe your punishement can be to make them make a doll house. It will make you feel better and you can then donate it to the local shelter for the kids.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest NatalieRene]

You could always just flunk them. =) Aww yeah I guess two wrongs don't make a right but it would make you feel better.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Once I've gotten fit, I think my next task will be self defence / martial arts / kick boxing something along those lines, I was bullied as a boy my whole childhood, and am still afraid of youths if i'm on the street etc. Sam however will not be a victim, I am determined.

That's not to say that I would physically attack people harrasing me, but hopefully I will be more confident in standing up for myself knowing I can take care of myself should something happen.

Here's a question tho, english is lacking gender nutral versions of he/she and him/her but surely some languages have these? so what are these words in what languages, can't we try to get one of them adopted into english? It would remove one of the homophobic/facist/idiot's best excuses of "well I don't know what to call him/her/it"

[Guest April63]

Here's a question tho, english is lacking gender nutral versions of he/she and him/her but surely some languages have these? so what are these words in what languages, can't we try to get one of them adopted into english? It would remove one of the homophobic/facist/idiot's best excuses of "well I don't know what to call him/her/it"

The word you are looking for is "it". It is the neutral form in English. We tend to take it offensively, because it sounds dehumanizing. But it is the real, correct word.

[Guest Pól]

The word you are looking for is "it". It is the neutral form in English. We tend to take it offensively, because it sounds dehumanizing. But it is the real, correct word.

I'd agree with April here.

The thing is, English is actually a lot less gendered than many other languages. None of the articles (like "the" or "a") are gendered, and nouns, on the whole, are not classified as feminine or masculine. Some adjectives are informally gendered (like "handsome" versus "beautiful"), but over all, most adjectives are neutral. I can't think of a verb in English at the moment that's conjugated differently for males and females.

My point is, it could be a lot worse. Imagine if French was the language you spoke at home -- not only would you be worrying about the right pronouns and names, but also the right nouns, verbs, and adjectives.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

but "it" is in pretty much all instances used to refer to an inanimate object (we even take offence at referring to animals as "it"). and "they" is plural.

[Guest Miss Aeryn]

It will never be easy for us but if we continue to educate just one person at a time eventually the people who ridicule will be the ones considered to be odd.

That is never going to realistically happen unless ignorance is exposed to rational light, clear thoughtful education, which usually doesn't happen because people are scared of confrontation, of debate, of upsetting 'whomever' especially in public places, so the ignorance just contines to molder away. Rinse and repeat.

"For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing."

Simon Wiesenthal

Aeryn

[Guest April63]

That is never going to realistically happen unless ignorance is exposed to rational light, clear thoughtful education, which usually doesn't happen because people are scared of confrontation, of debate, of upsetting 'whomever' especially in public places, so the ignorance just contines to molder away. Rinse and repeat.

"For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing."

Simon Wiesenthal

Aeryn

Even if that happens, there will still be people who disagree. The thing is, humans do not know everything and because of that, we will never be able to fully prove anything. Everyone is ignorant to some things.

[Guest Pól]

Even if that happens, there will still be people who disagree. The thing is, humans do not know everything and because of that, we will never be able to fully prove anything. Everyone is ignorant to some things.

I think this may be the smartest thing I've heard all day. Well said.

[Guest NatashaJade]

You could always just flunk them. =) Aww yeah I guess two wrongs don't make a right but it would make you feel better.

If I flunked every kid for saying or doing something I found offensive, I doubt I'd pass more than a couple. I'm fair even to the ones I can hardly tolerate. I like to think that's why I'm a good teacher.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Congrats on not letting them have it. I don't know if I could have been that restrained and not let them know how shallow they are. I know it is shop class so maybe your punishement can be to make them make a doll house. It will make you feel better and you can then donate it to the local shelter for the kids.

Love,

Sarah F

It's a theatre shop, so they're stuck building my visions from day to day. I'll set these lovelies to work with my costume specialist. She loves getting her hands on "slaves" for the costume room (which needs tending to)...

luv

Gin

[Guest Anna_Banana]

"It" is a novel by Steven King. I'm sorry I have to tell you this, Gin, but you aren't "It." Tell your students to learn more outside of your class, because they are clearly incapable of determining the difference between fiction and reality.

.Anna

[Guest NatashaJade]

"It" is a novel by Steven King. I'm sorry I have to tell you this, Gin, but you aren't "It." Tell your students to learn more outside of your class, because they are clearly incapable of determining the difference between fiction and reality.

.Anna

You mean I'm not a demonic sewer clown-thing? Scary book, that. And of course my students cannot differentiate fiction from reality...they don't have to.

[Guest NatalieRene]

You mean I'm not a demonic sewer clown-thing? Scary book, that. And of course my students cannot differentiate fiction from reality...they don't have to.

Actually it was more like a squid type thing that caused hallucinations. The clown was one of those hallucinations.

I know it's easier said then done but you need to learn to let it roll off you. Once they know they can't bother you with their remarks they'll leave you alone. But if you can be provoked it will get much worse.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I know it's easier said then done but you need to learn to let it roll off you. Once they know they can't bother you with their remarks they'll leave you alone. But if you can be provoked it will get much worse.

I'd have to say that Natalie has a real good point here!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest NatashaJade]

I know it's easier said then done but you need to learn to let it roll off you. Once they know they can't bother you with their remarks they'll leave you alone. But if you can be provoked it will get much worse.

After years of being thick-skinned, I have become much less so as of late, especially when it comes to being trans. Someday down the road I can see myself being an activist. At least I don't have the rage to contend with anymore.

As for them bothering me, they have no idea. I am pretty good at changing the subject and they have no idea I am bothered by it. I was not part of the conversation this morning in any case. However, it let me know that coming out in my current environment would not be prudent for me right now.

Thanks for the kind words, though.

luv

Gin

[Guest NatalieRene]

After years of being thick-skinned, I have become much less so as of late, especially when it comes to being trans. Someday down the road I can see myself being an activist. At least I don't have the rage to contend with anymore.

As for them bothering me, they have no idea. I am pretty good at changing the subject and they have no idea I am bothered by it. I was not part of the conversation this morning in any case. However, it let me know that coming out in my current environment would not be prudent for me right now.

Thanks for the kind words, though.

luv

Gin

It's exactly the type of situation where you are thin skinned that they will search out and pick at. I would say don't ever tell them. Maybe take a sabbatical when you're further into your transition and come back as your new self with only your boss that needs to know sort of thing.

[Guest darlene lynn]

I for years was ashamed of being an (IT) . But now I'm ok with being an it. Honestly I think its just about perfit because I never fit in, as an male I never fit and as an girl I was born in the wrong body. So honestly as hard as it was for me to except it...(IT) was really who I am. So (IT) is not so bad..

LOVE

Darlene Lynnette