It

[Guest NatashaJade]

It's exactly the type of situation where you are thin skinned that they will search out and pick at. I would say don't ever tell them. Maybe take a sabbatical when you're further into your transition and come back as your new self with only your boss that needs to know sort of thing.

Oh, in my situation, in my location, there is no coming out and coming back. I definitely will never tell this bunch a thing about me. They accept that I'm weird, but it's in my job description to be so.

[Guest Ryles_D]

I know a couple of people who use 'it' as their preferred pronoun. I think that's good, and eventually 'it' won't be insulting any more.

[Guest nova]

In English, "gender-neutral pronoun" refers to third-person--personal pronouns: They, them, themselves, their, and theirs. "It" is a third-person inanimate. Animate refers to humanness; human (animate) vs. nonhuman (inanimate). Using the word "it" to refer to a person is usually considered EXTREMELY derogatory. Personally, I would be offended --to say the least- if someone were to refer to me as an "it" . . . in fact, I was called an "it" by the person who threatened to "put me in my coffin" (after doing some other things first). In fact, this thug was so sure of my non-humanness that when he was explaining himself to the police, he told them --referring to me-- that, "It is not even a person". If you don't mind being called an "it", that's your business, but I wouldn't go calling others an "it" thinking it's proper English. If you wouldn't dare call someone else an "it", why would you let someone call you an "It"?

[Guest Ryles_D]

If you don't mind being called an "it", that's your business, but I wouldn't go calling others an "it" thinking it's proper English. If you wouldn't dare call someone else an "it", why would you let someone call you an "It"?

Not everoyne finds it so derogatory. To people who prefer 'it' as their personal pronoun, the assertion that 'it' makes them less of a person is more insulting than respecting their wishes.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

so we need non gender specific first person personal pronouns. especially in a world that is supposed to be all about equality.

I like how in star trek it's considered proper to address female officers as "Sir", but that's not really an appropriate solution and doesn't deal with people who simply don't wish to be addressed as or identify with any gender.

And how often have to had to address a letter Dear Sir/Madam because you couldn't discern their gender from their name.

[Guest April63]

In English, "gender-neutral pronoun" refers to third-person--personal pronouns: They, them, themselves, their, and theirs. "It" is a third-person inanimate. Animate refers to humanness; human (animate) vs. nonhuman (inanimate). Using the word "it" to refer to a person is usually considered EXTREMELY derogatory. Personally, I would be offended --to say the least- if someone were to refer to me as an "it" . . . in fact, I was called an "it" by the person who threatened to "put me in my coffin" (after doing some other things first). In fact, this thug was so sure of my non-humanness that when he was explaining himself to the police, he told them --referring to me-- that, "It is not even a person". If you don't mind being called an "it", that's your business, but I wouldn't go calling others an "it" thinking it's proper English. If you wouldn't dare call someone else an "it", why would you let someone call you an "It"?

"They" is the third person plural pronoun in English. In English, plural nouns do not use gender, but are all combined together as "they". "he/she/it" are the third person singular pronouns. They have gender, like almost every other language. "It" is not necessarily inanimate, it is just the neutral gender. In English, we do not typically gender nouns, so most inanimate objects are referred to with "it". Humans have genders of male and female, and thus we use "he" and "she".

The problem that has arisen is, what do you do if you don't know the gender of a person. Traditionally (properly), you use "he". "It" is completely improper, because it is not genderless, but rather the neutral gender. Here we are trying to find a genderless pronoun to refer to people regardless of gender, but that just doesn't exist in English. Some other languages have them, but many do not.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

so what languages have them and what are they? we'll adopt some words. we've done it with plenty of other foreign words

[Guest April63]

so what languages have them and what are they? we'll adopt some words. we've done it with plenty of other foreign words

well, some people have already tried to invent words that are genderless, but that are not proper or even mainstream. The languages that use genderless pronouns are fading away as well, but some are Indonesian, spoken Chinese, Malay, Georgian, Armenian, Irish, and some others.

[Guest Nigh]

Not everoyne finds it so derogatory. To people who prefer 'it' as their personal pronoun, the assertion that 'it' makes them less of a person is more insulting than respecting their wishes.

Yeah, I don't see what's so wrong with being called an "it" either. It implies an ambiguity between the genders, which, quite honestly, is a rather lovely place to be.

[Guest nova]

April, we disagree about "IT". If I referred to a plural as singular, then I apologize to you. Ryles, it is clear that not everyone objects or finds being called an "it" to be derogatory. I just don't understand how someone could not find it derogatory. To me, it's a matter of self respect.

I'm NOT saying you don't respect yourself if you allow others to call you an "it". I'm saying I don't understand you. But that is what the OP was about . . . referring to a transperson as an "it". Yes, "It" is a third-person singular inanimate pronoun, but when used to refer to a human being it is usually considered EXTREMELY derogatory, and that's not just my personal opinion. I think it's a matter of common usage in the real world.

No one has my permission to refer to me as an "it". I hope you all will respect that, because personally, I find it morally repugnant.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Clearly there are people who preference "it" over he or she, but surely a 4th word that didn't have the common connotations of "it" would be preferable

[Guest Robin Winter]

I would think being referred to as our proper gender would be preferable for most.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

yes but not everyone is either male or female. And there are occasions where people don't know your gender and it is offensive for them to assume.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I think that we're splitting hairs here.

We can explain and argue the proper reasons for using "IT"!

But, when it comes right down to it....

When it's used.....99% of the time, it's meant in a derogatory way!

Simple as that!

And most of the Trans community takes it that way!

If you don't mind being called "IT"...please let people know that it's ok....

But, most of us are insulted!

Donna Jean

[Guest April63]

April, we disagree about "IT". If I referred to a plural as singular, then I apologize to you. Ryles, it is clear that not everyone objects or finds being called an "it" to be derogatory. I just don't understand how someone could not find it derogatory. To me, it's a matter of self respect.

I'm NOT saying you don't respect yourself if you allow others to call you an "it". I'm saying I don't understand you. But that is what the OP was about . . . referring to a transperson as an "it". Yes, "It" is a third-person singular inanimate pronoun, but when used to refer to a human being it is usually considered EXTREMELY derogatory, and that's not just my personal opinion. I think it's a matter of common usage in the real world.

No one has my permission to refer to me as an "it". I hope you all will respect that, because personally, I find it morally repugnant.

We actually partially agree. I believe that "it" may dehumanize people, because we use "it" for inanimate objects. The word itself is not grammatically inanimate, but can have the social or cultural effect of sounding dehumanizing or derogatory. This is purely because we don't tend to call living things "it", but we instead use the pronouns that correspond to their genders. Since English doesn't give most inanimate objects genders, using "it" can be taken in a negative light.

"It" is never really the right option though. Even if the gender is unknown, because "it" is a gender itself. Perhaps "it" can be used with people who identify that way (neither male or female), but otherwise it would be incorrect.

[Guest Taki]

I agree with 'it' being very derogatory. People called been called that many times, and once, when my dad was right there. However, I've been finding that 'it' is still better than being called the dreaded 'her' but that's just my opinion.

[Guest TheAetherealMeadow]

As others said, I believe "it" isn't appropriate as a gender-neutral pronoun because it refers to inanimate objects, and to brand a person with a pronoun reserved for inanimate objects would imply that this person is not worthy of personhood. Perhaps the only exception would be if one is using "it" to refer to babies and animals.

I think "ze" and its possessive form "hir" are appropriate pronouns for gender-neutrality. The only problem is adopting them into mainstream English use.

[Guest angie]

I think "ze" and its possessive form "hir" are appropriate pronouns for gender-neutrality. The only problem is adopting them into mainstream English use.

Hir is officially recognised by India as a gender unto it's own to describe trans folk.

Angie