Would You Date A Transgendered Individual?

[Guest Neuro]

A lot of people I listen to on here (myself included) talk about how few people there are out there who seem to be able to see past the gender dysphoria, and love them as who they are on the inside.

However, I have a question (that you can answer anonymous in poll, or explain in detail in comment: ) --Would YOU date a trans girl, or guy?

I have always felt odd in that sense. I'm what some people call bisexual, but that is a 'stereotypical' phrase. Maybe it's 'pansexual,' but some call that a pretentious term. Meaning, I like guys and girls equally. And the more I think about it, the more I can see myself possibly dating a transgender person.

Well... Technically, I don't plan on ever dating anyone, or marrying anyone. (Because I am selfish.) But attraction-wise, and connection-wise? It seems like a good thing. Someone who could understand what I am going through, someone who has been through similar things, someone who probably has an accepting heart and could see past the outer layer, ja.

I wish I could explain it better, but I am not really good at talking about myself in that level lol. I get called a player for liking both genders, a homo for liking girls, a tomboy for liking guys, and a pretentious git for liking all. I was just wondering if there were any similar thoughts like mine out there, or if there were other trans people who weren't beyond dating trans people. It could be a very good thing!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Good one, Michael!

I most certainly would....

Who better to understand you than another Transgendered person?

Not sure exactly where I would go with it, but, it's definitely a possibility with me!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest julia_d]

I have in the past, but it didn't work because they were a control freak and I'm actually a straight girl.. I guess we change too. When that started 12 years ago I guess I was bi.. but I'm not now.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

I'm pretty much the same as you, I used to call myself bi, now probably ought to call myself pan. I wouldn't necessarily seek out a TG person, but I'll look for love pretty much anywhere that isn't children or animals. I do definitely want to find a partner tho, I hate being alone.

I'm also poly, so would happily have a relationship with more than one person, and groups of any combination of genders. just whatever works really. WHen people love each other and want to be with each other, what more is there? why is it anyone else's business, the only thing we ask the government for is certain legal assurances re medical, will, children etc.

[Guest Nigh]

This is something I've actually thought about quite a bit over the last few months. I don't consider myself bi, or pan sexual, or anything like that. I like guys, plain and simple, but I have dated a few girls throughout my life and while we only had a romantic connection, it wasn't that bad. In fact, it was better in some ways- guys have a habit of being insensitive testosterone-driven pricks, while girls tend to understand more- maybe that's because I understand them better though; I'm not sure. Anyway, what I'm saying is I wouldn't mind dating either male or female- but us trans-folk are slightly different. I'm not implying we aren't "real" men or women, or anything like that, I just mean, we're different in the sense that the majority of us have quite a bit of baggage. I myself am probably a pretty messed-up person by any means and chances are the other transgendered person would probably have an equal, if not more, amount of baggage. We also all tend to have, um, quirks during certain... activities- I know I do- which would make things rather awkward or upsetting for one or both parties involved. These are just sort of my assumptions about dating a trans-person though, if I found a nice, stable, guy or girl, I doubt I'd think twice about going out with them.

I hope that made some amount of sense- I tend to ramble, and in case you didn't notice, that was a ramble-fest.

[Guest Chris_421]

I found my best choice was the am already married, though we're not married. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I just say my orientation is gay. But I wouldn't turn someone down due to their gender, though I'm attracted to more masculine individuals.

[Guest sarah f]

Absolutely I would date someone like me. I would be no different than all of the other ignorent people out there that don't understand us if I said no. Just like Dee Jay said, who better would understand what I am going through.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Neuro]

Yes, I noticed in our community sometimes you think something is definite one day, and then it changes the next!

Just 2 years ago I thought I was simply gay (as in, men only.)

But when I thought about it, it was like a click.

I was just trying to tell that to myself.

(Because I had a bias against bi people at the time, thinking they were 'easy.' How nasty of me!)

So, there is nothing wrong with being straight, or gay, or bi or anything.

Or even if you change halfway through.

It doesn't make you a crazy person, or a wannabee or 'experimental,' it just means you are being honest with yourself and trying your best to figure yourself out.

And being strictly straight or gay doesn't mean you are a homophobe or anything stupid like that >:U

I hate when people talk like that--my gay friends sometimes rag on straight people for 'not being more accepting to romance.

Love has no gender!'

Well, you know something...?

Sometimes, you can't help who you love, or who you are (or are not!) attracted to.

I get what you mean though, Nigh. Drama comes with the full package!

But I guess anyone could have a load of baggage, depending on who they are.

I think I would make a fantastic husband, because I am fairly drama-free. (HA!)

But alas, my heart belongs to my art.

Meaning: Even if I was a 'normal' GIRL, I would be too hung up on drawing to satisfy someone.

But I am very nice, if I do say so myself.

And obviously, humble.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Love has no gender!'

Well, you know something...?

Sometimes, you can't help who you love, or who you are (or are not!) attracted to.

You said it all ...right there!

My feelings exactly!

Donna Jean

[Guest Ryles_D]

Would YOU date a trans girl, or guy?

Oh. Um. Probably not- I haven't met transguy/girl I'd want to date. I'm with a non-binary, though. I don't like 'pansexual' because it's too broad, but the proper term doesnt' exist and it's not that big a deal, so I just say I'm asexual and leave it at that- it's 100% accurate and I don't have to invent new words to try and express who I like.

[Guest insanitylives]

If I met someone, I don't think I'd care.

I don't consiter myself bisexual or pansexual -- I prefer women overwhelmingly, but I'm not going to push aside anyone solely on their sex or gender.

[Guest Kade]

I wouldn't reject someone because they were transgendered, the mutual understanding may even make someone more attractive in my eyes. Someone who had, or was, fully transitioning to male wouldn't be an issue, but in terms of physical attraction I'm strongly attracted to men so while a FtM would totally get where I was coming from, if he wasn't on T or had chest surgery I may struggle with being sexually attracted to him. Yes, it is hypocritical. A mental and emotional connection without a physical connection sounds like the formula for a good friendship to me.

[Guest Soph]

A person's transsexuality wouldn't play into my opinion of them. It is simply incidental that trans people tend to be more introspective, and likewise more empathetic (gosh, I sure am gracious to us aren't I!) than cisgendered people who never have to think about such important issues.

What I mean to say is I wouldn't date someone because they were trans. I would, however, date a transman (everyones talking about pansexuality, and thats all great, but I'm still just a straight girl... I couldn't see myself in a relationship with another woman) as long as he was a nice person, which is more likely given that we trans people rock!

[Guest DeniseNM]

Yes I would date a transwoman or a transman, like some of the others here I use to call myself bisexual but as time has gone on and I have gotten to know myself better I have realized that I am pansexual. To me it doesn't matter what the person's gender or presented gender is but whether or not we have a connection and if we are attracted to each other. I have seen ones from our community I would consider dating in the past. This is just me though.

Denise

[Guest Robin Winter]

I did date a transgendered person. He said he was androgynous. I still think he was transsexual and wasn't ready to admit it, there were too many signs, but I could be wrong. He only wore womens clothing, very rarely was viewed as male in public, carried a purse, wore makeup, perfume, the whole nine yards, basically living full time as a woman. Not all that androgynous if you ask me lol. And he sure was pretty. So of course, my wife hates him. He was actually the person I dated just before I met my wife.

[Guest Mila]

I guess so. As long as the person is good and you click with him/her.

Mila

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Oh, absolutely.

I'm entirely asexual so physical attraction doesn't really have an impact on my perception of people. I'd be perfectly happy in a monogamous, devoted, loving relationship with either a man or a woman, trans or otherwise, as long as there was mutual respect. My affectional orientation is more strongly in favor of women, but love is love.

[Guest AshleeB]

I think i would greatly prefer to be with a T-girl... i mean, there would be less pressure for sexual stuff (i hope... i mean, im not into sex or anything like that at all) and they would be more likely to understand me where as a genetic girl would be far LESS likely to understand various reasons i feel insecure (what with them not bieng trans lol)...

SO yeah! not only would i be with a trans person, i would prefer it

[Guest toniesangel]

I dated a MtF for awhile last year. I was very casual for both of us. We are still friends and she is one of the most understanding people I've ever known.

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Yes I definately would date a transperson. I feel that we can understand where each of us are going through and grow together. A genetic woman or man would not fully understand, however I am not saying I would not date a gg or gb but prefer a transperson.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

I have dated two closeted MTFs and one out of the closet FTM.

[Sally]

How could you possibly not date a transperson - not because they can understand you but because it would just be morally wrong to reject someone for having gone through all of the pain and suffering that you did.

Add to that the simple fact that for most of us it just takes a quick look around the playgrounds and you see how loving and caring we are as a group.

Who wouldn't want to date the sweet ladies here and talk about sensitive men - our guys make Tom Hanks (the nicest man in Hollywood) look like Attila the Hun!

There are no more loving people on this planet than the transgendered that I have met and to exclude them would be a big mistake but don't forget excluding cisgendered would be a mistake too.

I am going to let my heart decide for me not my head - that didn't work out so well the last time.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Kade]

How could you possibly not date a transperson - not because they can understand you but because it would just be morally wrong to reject someone for having gone through all of the pain and suffering that you did.

I like the way you look at it but when it comes to relationships it's about what we're attracted to mentally, emotionally and physically, you sound like an empathetic soul and I find that admirable but attraction/rejection isn't about what is morally correct, it's not fair on anyone to consider dating them because you would feel guilty rejecting them. Identifying as trans shouldn't have an expectation of being attracted to someone else who is also trans, I just think it would be more common than not.

[Sally]

Kade,

I didn't say that I would feel compelled to only date transpeople - I said it would be very wrong to exclude them for being trans.

Reread the last two sentences:

There are no more loving people on this planet than the transgendered that I have met and to exclude them would be a big mistake but don't forget excluding cisgendered would be a mistake too.

I am going to let my heart decide for me not my head - that didn't work out so well the last time.

We cannot help who we are attracted to so be open to everyone - I tried to be who I was supposed to be and date who I was expected to date - now I am in a totally gray area where I am all over the place - I think that I am becoming a straight woman but I have such strong feelings for some of the girls I know that I am not totally sure - how do you sort out a deep sisterly love from something more like a lesbian love?

I have feelings for men that I have never allowed myself to experience before - I am at a confused spot in my life and I will not predetermine who I will date - I am going to be myself this time around and I will date whoever I find attractive and is also attracted to me - so it might be a limited field but that doesn't really matter - love is all that matters.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Steven22]

At first glance it does seem oddly symmetrical but it wouldn't matter to me much, the chief determining factor for me is personality. I would be lying if i said looks don't play a role, but you can tell a lot about someone by their sense of humor, they way they talk and their body language.