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Bad Jokes


Guest Superrad

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Guest Superrad

Okay, so there are two fish in a tank, right?

So one fish says to the other,

...

How the heck are do you drive this thing?

:D:D:D

When did Darth Vader become evil?

...

In the Sith grade.

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

...

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

You know you love them, no matter how painful they are.

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Guest Donna Jean

Hee Hee...

A grasshopper walks in a bar....

Bartender says.."Hey, we have a drink named after you!"...

Grasshopper says..."You have a drink named Ralph?"

*groan*

Donna Jean

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Guest Robin Winter
Hee Hee...

A grasshopper walks in a bar....

Bartender says.."Hey, we have a drink named after you!"...

Grasshopper says..."You have a drink named Ralph?"

*groan*

Donna Jean

Was that a karate kid joke??? Ralph Macchio....young grasshopper....

*sighs* I think I made the joke worse.

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Guest Superrad

Okay, so Aluminum and Argon are in a bar, having an intense discussion about how unfair it is that they don't get all the attention that more expensive metals do and Gold walks in.

So Aluminum says, "AU, GET OUTTA HERE!"

=D

The grasshopper joke was painful. I liked it.

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In homage to the great Red Skelton.

Two seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliff were flying along and Gertrude says, "Hey, Heathcliff have you seen any of those new sporty cars?"

And Heathcliff replies, "Why yes, I spotted one this morning."

Good evening and may God bless,

Sally

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Guest AshleeB

Oh oh! the first joke my granddaddy ever told me!

Two cows are standning in a field

One cow says "mooooo"

The other cow shouts "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT!!"

I love that XD its terrible but GOSH i smile everytime i hear it haha

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest NadineB

A man walks inTo a bar carrying a carving of a giraffe. He laeves it in the corner and orders a drink. The bar man says, "aye you can't leave that ly'n there!"

the man replies " it's not a lion it's a giraffe"

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest 91curiouskitten

There are three muffins in an oven

First muffin goes 'Is it just me, or is is getting hot in here?"

Second muffin goes "You know I think you're right!!!" he said his tone a bit panciked

The third muffin starst shaking and his eyes go wide, terrified beyond beelif, he looks over to the two muffin and screams "OH MY GOD!!! TALKING MUFFINS!!!!!"

o.o, yo

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  • 3 months later...

so a duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says you got any grapes

the owner says no just lemonade so the duck leaves

next day the duck walks up to the stand and says you got any grapes

the owner says no just lemonade so the duck leaves

next day the duck walks up to the stand and says you got any grapes

the owner says no just lemonade so the duck leaves

next day the duck walks up to the stand and says you got any grapes

the owner says no just lemonade so the duck leaves

next day the duck walks up to the stand and says you got any grapes

the owner says no just lemonade so the duck leaves

next day the duck walks up to the stand and says you got any nails

the owner says no

and the duck says good got any grapes

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So a baby seal walks into a club.... IM KIDDING! Please dun hate me =(

So a man falls into a lens grinder and makes a spectacle of himself. Stole that from The Oblongs =) so delightfully corny.

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Guest Donna Jean

A rabbi, a priest and a duck walk into a bar.....

The bartender says....

"What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Donna Jean

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  • Forum Moderator

What do you call a ghost's mother and father?

Transparents!

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"

God: "To me, it's about a minute."

The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God: "To me it's a penny."

The man: "God, may I have a penny?"

God: "Wait a minute."

One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.

When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper.

The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?"

Mozart repied, "I'm decomposing!".

Why was the Egyptian girl worried ?

Because her daddy was a mummy !

:D

JJ

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Guest Donna Jean

What do you call a ghost's mother and father?

Transparents!

:D

JJ

No, wait a minute...that would e MY parants!

Actually my parents had 3 children....one of each!

Donna Jean

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Donna Jean

.

Police arrested two kids yesterday,

one was drinking battery acid, and the

other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Donna Jean

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  • 3 weeks later...

This lady was out walkin her pig on the beach.

Man stops and says "thats one ugly dog."

the woman says "its a pig ya dummy!"

then the man says "not you! i was talkin to the pig!"

laugh.gif

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Luna_Luv2942

I got one

A cheetah and a lion are playing cards.

The lion suddenly yells "Your cheating!"

And the cheetah says "Well your a lyin'!"

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  • 1 month later...

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