I Don't Want To Have Testicles

[Guest]

The OR is dark, everyone has gone home and I tiptoe in. Gathering lidocaine, syringes, drapes, disinfectants, scalpel blades, hemostats and suture. I inject the lidocaine and start the surgery. It's tough to do because It's hard see everything down there, but eventually it's done. I leave a mess behind and take a couple days off wondering if they'll figure out who the body parts belong to.

Really gross daydream, but it keeps replaying in my head. No, I wouldn't ever try it, but it's like dreaming about food when you're hungry - just a different kind of hunger.

My therapist offered me HRT and I told her I wasn't ready. But maybe I'd stop dreaming about do-it-yourself SRS.

Kat

[Guest angie]

Kat,

I know a woman who actually did give herself

a total Penectomy.That is radical SRS without

the vagina afterward.Her need was so great,

and the loathing of her genitals so intense,

and without the fund to do it otherwise,took

matters into her own hands.She say's now

that if she could do it over,she would do it

the right way.But what's done is done,and

she very happy she did it.Her dysphoria

was cured from that point forward,regardless

of a missing part.She doesn't recommend

doing what she did though.

Angie

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

I had my orchiectomy performed just about two years ago and it was the best decision that I had ever made. I didn't know at the time how long it was going to be before I was able to have my SRS done since I'm having to depend on insurance to pay for it. Oh yea my insurance paid for my orchi too. But I have had very little skin shrinkage and if I were to worried about it I would do stretching exercises to gain more skin for SRS. I hated my boy's with a passion and couldn't wait to get rid of them I'm the same way with what's left over but now that thing just hides inside of me leaving me able to wear whatever I want to including a ladies swimsuit. I don't recommend doing it any other way but by the hands of a skilled surgeon or you risk death or worse messing yourself up so you can't ever get you SRS performed. The only thing I would warn people of this is the final choice on whether or not you want to have children, if you have not banked your sperm there will no chance of you being able to sire a child so do take that into mind. But from my experience the negatives posed about orchi's are mostly bull put forth by people who have issues with cutting off their boy's, most doctor's now days don't even consider it a problem unless you need allot of depth in the neo-vagina and that can be worked out as well.

Another thing I wanted to point out was since my orchi I was able to go off of androgen blockers completly only needing to take my estrogen and since my orchi my features have really become more feminine you can see the changes in my progression Photo Here. My orchi was done in July of 08.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Guest angie]

Ya know Charlene,

I Hate Those Things With A Passion.And if the funds were available

would be in an incinerator someplace.I read once that keeping the

boys confined for such a protracted period as I have,can cause some

issue's with them.I know ol righty is aching dully,and has been for

some time.I'm fairly sure my intense mountain biking,being ruthless

with my treatment of the existing genitals,may have exacerbated

it to start with.All I know,is if I can get a medical reason to have

them removed,I will jump on it with both feet. If not,I am stuck

with those much maligned,greatly detested,shriveled up,worthless

pieces of my old self. Until the morning/day/evening/night,I am

rolling down some hall on a gurney.

Wouldn't it be nice if the medical associations would just find SRS/GRS

necessary to a transsexual? Get insurance to pony up for the cost it.

I know there would be a whole lot more girl's and boy's having surgery

if it became affordable.

Angelique

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Ya know Charlene,

I Hate Those Things With A Passion.And if the funds were available

would be in an incinerator someplace.I read once that keeping the

boys confined for such a protracted period as I have,can cause some

issue's with them.I know ol righty is aching dully,and has been for

some time.I'm fairly sure my intense mountain biking,being ruthless

with my treatment of the existing genitals,may have exacerbated

it to start with.All I know,is if I can get a medical reason to have

them removed,I will jump on it with both feet. If not,I am stuck

with those much maligned,greatly detested,shriveled up,worthless

pieces of my old self. Until the morning/day/evening/night,I am

rolling down some hall on a gurney.

Wouldn't it be nice if the medical associations would just find SRS/GRS

necessary to a transsexual? Get insurance to pony up for the cost it.

I know there would be a whole lot more girl's and boy's having surgery

if it became affordable.

Angelique

You know I was reading somewhere that there is a SRS doctor in Florida that will do SRS for a discount if you donate the boys to science. But that is not an offer that runs full time but is intermittent and depends on when funds are available. I do not remember the doctors name so it may take some research but I know this is available.

Well my insurance is Medicare and once they start paying for SRS the other insurance companies will have no choice. This is because Medicare is considered a bellwether and what it covers the others must too. I know they are paying for SRS when it's considered a medical necessity which my doctors have said mine is. I want the birth defect gone so badly I want to cut it off but I know also that that would ruin any chance for a successful SRS. But I can't even look at myself in a mirror or touch myself down there except to relieve myself. I will keep all of you informed on who pays for my SRS so that if it is covered by my Medicare you can then demand it of your insurance.

Love

Charlene Leona

[Guest angie]

You know I was reading somewhere that there is a SRS doctor in Florida that will do SRS for a discount if you donate the boys to science. But that is not an offer that runs full time but is intermittent and depends on when funds are available. I do not remember the doctors name so it may take some research but I know this is available.

Well my insurance is Medicare and once they start paying for SRS the other insurance companies will have no choice. This is because Medicare is considered a bellwether and what it covers the others must too. I know they are paying for SRS when it's considered a medical necessity which my doctors have said mine is. I want the birth defect gone so badly I want to cut it off but I know also that that would ruin any chance for a successful SRS. But I can't even look at myself in a mirror or touch myself down there except to relieve myself. I will keep all of you informed on who pays for my SRS so that if it is covered by my Medicare you can then demand it of your insurance.

Love

Charlene Leona

I am on disability also and Medicare is my insurer too. If they will do yours,may hap they will

do mine also.

Angie

[Guest brenda lee]

Jana, Sweetie I too am like our other sisters ,I hate having those nasty little boys hanging on yo me. If I could they would be gone with no hard feeling on my part. They served their duty to recreate and that is about all they did. Please go to a doctor and do it safe.LOL Brenda Lee

Jana ,Sweetie I too would go along with the idea of donating my little boys to science.They will be there if they ever want them.For me they get in the way alot.LOL BrendaLee

[Guest]

As a result of this discussion, I decided that I should keep everything tucked 24/7. The sensation is increased every time I tuck, and I'd rather that they don't remind me of their presence that much. It has helped - sometimes feels like they're not even there.

I just hope it wasn't noted when changing clothes with the doctors on Friday - I think my loose manwear was a good enough cover up.

Kat

[Guest ChristineMN]

I don't care for having mine and can't wait to have SRS. Till then just have to put up with the darn things.

[Cyndee]

Could not help but notice this older thread, so.....

They totally gross me out, honestly at my age I am just done with them and the other part too. I am so thankful for Spiro, it's wonderful medicine in my case, ahhh now that's real relief. Some day I think about not needing it at all.

Those replicas that guys hang under their truck's tow hitch make me think of getting out the snippers ;-)

C -

[Guest kazuri]

I have been feeling exactly the same way. I hate the erections I have no control over. I hate feeling them between my legs all the time. I hate the way they feel in my underwear.

After starting HRT, I don't get any random erections, thankfully. The only time I get them is when I am directly thinking about sex (which is pretty rare), but I agree that they are still uncomfortable and weird, and in the way. It will be a while before i can get SRS, because I have a really small budget, but I am going to try and get an orchiectomy as soon as I can. Having a penis is weird enough without having those gross other bits to go along with it. It also makes it really difficult to tuck, because even if i push them up into my abdomen place, they push themselves back whenever i sit or move in a certain way, which makes everything unravel itself. Can't wait to be rid of it all

[Guest Daiyu Hurst]

An Australian trans woman attempted some kind of genital surgery on herself this past Tuesday, April 3rd. She passed out from blood loss before she could complete the procedure; below is edited to remove personal and locational details:

hereby withdraw my statement (see below) that I intended to complete my gender

reassignment surgery myself as this is a dangerous operation which requires professionals to complete it.

I realise that I just need to keep asking for help and if anyone can point me in the right direction then I would

very much appreciate any information you have as I would like to have my surgery completed the right way.

I thank the [local] Police for being very professional, caring and most of all, they were absolutely

understanding of my situation and the officers who detained me had great communication skills and who actually

taught me that there are right ways and wrong ways, I guess I was getting really impatient and looking more at

the wrong way without thinking of the actual dangers involved in such a procedure.

I apologise to everyone, my intended actions were very dangerous and I do advise anyone thinking of doing such

an operation to seek medical help because it is very dangerous and cannot be perform unless by a professional.

Though I hope to find a way someday to fund SRS, I confess my body dysphoria (dysmorphia?) isn't very intense. Maybe that's why this disturbed me so much (well there were accompanying photos, and she apparently did this live on webcam). I would certainly find a way to live with the status quo before I'd ever consider this approach.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

The OR is dark, everyone has gone home and I tiptoe in. Gathering lidocaine, syringes, drapes, disinfectants, scalpel blades, hemostats and suture. I inject the lidocaine and start the surgery. It's tough to do because It's hard see everything down there, but eventually it's done. I leave a mess behind and take a couple days off wondering if they'll figure out who the body parts belong to.

Really gross daydream, but it keeps replaying in my head. No, I wouldn't ever try it, but it's like dreaming about food when you're hungry - just a different kind of hunger.

My therapist offered me HRT and I told her I wasn't ready. But maybe I'd stop dreaming about do-it-yourself SRS.

Kat

Actually I tried that self removal idea (but at home) - too much blood!! I had to sew myself up! The Lidocaine made me throw up for two days.

Age 34 - I was desperate. I had all the right medical things too.

Doesn't work unless you are outside the ER and run in - they see you - they save you from bleeding to death I image soon after, they put you in the psych war and throw away the key!

And no surgeon will touch the mangled mess you made!

Best to go through all the gates and jump through all the hoops.

Lizzy

[Guest Pamela5]

Once you are sure you are transgendered through extensive therapy and your therapist and MD approves you, have a choice of chemical or physical castration. An orci was a good choice in my case and it did not affect my SRS. With your boys are removed estrogen can work its magic and in my case it was a wonderful feeling knowing I was no longer producing T. I was also able wear clothes with little tucking. More importantly I was able to change all my documentation to Female (including my birth certificate) because the laws have changed in most states. I was born in PA and my new birth certificate does not mention my parents and has no reference to my previous document; according to PA I was born a girl. My letter starting I had irreversible genital surgery worked. An orci costs much less and does not require RLT and will get you most of the way there. Everyone has to make their own choice but in my case it was absolutely the right decision.

Pam

[Guest jennifer_m]

my testicles don't bother me that much. getting wood is what makes me batty. when i don't want it, the urge is almost irresistible. when i do want it, it doesn't stay for long.

[Guest kelise]

All I can say is last I knew mine are a black mark on the inside of a Colorado incinerator. My only regret is I didn't get to throw them in there myself!