Saying Hello Through The Tears

[Sally]

Xandra,

I'll help you there.

Why don't you ask her to PM me and we ca go over a few things privately to help both of you - so you can have a little more time to try to get a grasp on what all is really happening and she can balance the desire to transition completely RIGHT NOW and the need for her to go slower, for you and for her.

I just might be able to help and you have both trusted me before and I haven't let you down, now have I?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Xandra6]

I will mention it, I do know that this has been addressed in counseling already. But it can't hurt to hear it from more than one place.

Xandra,

I'll help you there.

Why don't you ask her to PM me and we ca go over a few things privately to help both of you - so you can have a little more time to try to get a grasp on what all is really happening and she can balance the desire to transition completely RIGHT NOW and the need for her to go slower, for you and for her.

I just might be able to help and you have both trusted me before and I haven't let you down, now have I?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Chandra]

Hello Xandra,

I don't know if I can offer any better advice than what has already been given because I am not as experienced as most here,

but what can it hurt. I feel that I should try because I know that it can work, there is always hope.

The mere fact that you are here trying tells me that the odds may be in your favor. Even though it is very difficult, think this out with reason not emotion. Emotion will cloud your thinking process, but this extremely difficult, but is possible.

I am married and just got the green light from my wife to get help for my gender issue, no matter how I might end up. I have been married for 17 years and she has been the only women I have ever been with. We have always been soul mates, like two pea's in a pod. We do everything together and have no secrets, our spirits are as one.

She knows the rut that I am in, and that I will perish if I don't get help. Love is the only thing powerful enough to allow us to remain together. True love is magic, this is your only hope.

Think of it this way, when you and your SO were first establishing feelings for each other there was something there for the two of you to connect, the chemistry was right. At this time his personality was the same as it is now mainly feminine. And you were attracted to him then fell in love with this person. Now ask yourself this, if this trait was not there would he be the same person?

No he would not, this does not mean for sure that you would'nt have ended up with him. But I think it is more likely that you would not, he would have been a little different. There was something there that you fell in love with him possessing this fem. quality. Now the two of you have been fine, until he could no longer contain the truth about his true inner self that you were already in love with.

Now I do understand the magnitude is huge for you, but for him it is do or die. It's not his fault he was born with this and did not ask for it. It's a medical condition that he had no control over, and did not know where this would go.

The medical condition he has does have has a medical repair. He is the same person on the inside that you have always been in love with.

Now let me say this human relationships and love are about the most complicated thing in the universe. When you first fall in love is it for the body or the inner spirit within. At first I think it is a combination of both. But ultimately the real you is not the exterior it is the inner spirit which defines the real you, the body matters not.

Can you find it with in you to over look the physical and realize the love that has always been there remains even if his body changes. True love can make this possible.

If it worked in my marriage it is possible it can work in yours.

Best wishes, I will be praying for the both of you

I hope some of this might have helped a little.

Love Chandra