My Second Talk With Human Resources

[Carolyn Marie]

Dear brothers and sisters:

I mentioned back in early February that I talked with the second-in-command in HR (I'll call her Sandy),

and we agreed to meet every quarter to discuss my progress and plan for my coming out at work.

In the meantime, I've been given a new assignment and internal transfer that puts me in charge of about

20 good folks, and an eventual move out to a field office. I also promised to stay an additional year before

retiring, so transition at work is a virtual certainty.

I had my second meeting with Sandy today, and I couldn't be more pleased how it turned out.

I updated her on my physical changes, and talked in more detail about therapy, my home situation, my

excursions out as Carolyn, and the experiences of some of you here in coming out and dealing with work issues.

What started out as a matter-of-fact discussion of transition and work issues soon evolved into girl talk, I

mentioned my breast development, and she shared stories of her own issues. That led to some good laughs,

and an admission from Sandy that she thought of me now as Carolyn, not as "him," because she never would

have discussed breasts and such with a man.

You can imagine how good that made me feel! We talked about makeup, and she gave me tips about getting

my eyebrows tattooed (she has beautiful ones), and I shared my own trials and tribulations. We laughed some more.

More seriously, though, she had viewed a training/information video done by Donna Rose, a TS woman, and had ordered a copy that we will both view, to see if I would like to use it as a training aid when I come out to my staff. Sandy said she will involve me in every decision that HR makes. She also had been to a training session at which an FtM and an MtF had talked, and was going to set up a meeting for us to meet with the MtF to get ideas and advice on my

plans for coming out, and also see if the trans-woman could make a presentation to the staff. That would take

the pressure off of me and allow staff to ask questions of a neutral party, rather than me, which I think would be

really good.

As far as timing, I still estimated that I wouldn't be ready, physically or emotionally, for another 8-12 months,

but when the time comes, I was sure I would be accepted by most of my colleagues.

We have a large organization, and we discussed how to break the news to everyone else, after coming out

in person to my own staff. We have an internal web site that contains news and current events, and features

on individual staff members. I suggested using that vehicle to introduce Carolyn to the rest of the organization,

instead of trying to do it at some mass meeting. Sandy thought that would work well.

We talked for nearly 90 minutes, and by the time we finished Sandy and I had become not just friends, but

girlfriends, and she encouraged me to confide in her any fears or concerns, or just schmooze when the need

arises. I showed her a little of my Carolyn side by getting all teary-eyed when we hugged and had to part.

I have renewed confidence that this is going to work, and that HR is going to be a huge help to me. Its good to

have a trusted friend at work, as well as a local girlfriend to share girl talk with!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Carolyn

By the title, it sounds like you had a good experience. I can't read your entire post right now, but I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you

I'll read your post when I get home from work.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Carolyn - I aways thought this!

YOU ARE SUCH A GIRL!

Dang

GRAND (oops - I mean GREAT)...

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

Carolyn......

I just exibited a little of my Donna Jean side right now, too...tear or two....

Geez...that's totally amazing, Hon...

And, heck, you're gonna be married and having babies before I even come out at work! DANG!

That whole thing was funny and sweet...what a wonderful experience and to have a co-conspirtor behind the scenes...oh my!

Happy, here......

You rock!

LOVE

Dee Jay

[Guest BeckyTG]

Dearest Carolyn Marie,

You lucky girl, you! This is a wonderful day full of all sorts of great news at Laura's. This could not have gone better. What a great story.

You should be so proud of yourself and all you have accomplished in such a short time here. It doesn't seem that long ago that you weren't even sure who you were and now you have a girlfriend at work. Oh my.

Please keep us posted. We love to hear stories, you know.

Big Hugs,

Becky

[Guest Girl Emily]

Carolyn Marie,

I have read so many of your posts in support and celebration of others I feel strange replying to your topic, but here goes.

Yea!!! Yea!!! Yea!!!!

I am so happy your HR department is understanding and the new girlfriend is such a bonus. Your example here at Laura's speaks volumes about your character and they would be so foolish to lose you because of ignorance.

The months will fly by and then the world will get to meet the carolyn we love so much.

That's just darn exciting.

Huggs,

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks so much, Emily and Becky and everyone.

It really has turned out better than I every expected. I certainly didn't expect to find a girlfriend in the process, but I'm glad that I have.

I look forward to whatever the future might bring. It's going to be interesting, for sure.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Paula ult]

Way to go Carolyn,

You are out to HR and have a new girlfriend too, those 8-1/2 months will fly by, from the time i came out to my HR dept till i came out to everyone at work was almost the same number of months, and i had a similar reaction with HR when i told them, what i did not know till a few months after i came out is that i was not the first in my company to transition, so i suspect that made it easier for them.

Paula