How Should I Come Out To My Parents?

[Guest Danielle S]

Hi this is Daniii and I have a question about coming out to my parents: How should I do that? I'm just not sure on how to do it. I told them one time but that was because of a "suprise attack". What I mean by that is it wasn't a sit down conversation but mostly a conversation where it sounds like that I'm going through a phase. There were no expressed emotions, no family sit down time, just them not listening to me. I hope they turn off that God balsted TV. Actually I think it would be better to set up a family therapy session so that there are no distractions and that the therapist can get them back on track if they do. I was wondering if anybody has any suggestions. Thanks.

Lots of Hugs and kisses,

Daniii

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Dear......

It's pretty hard to have a talk of this magnitude with the TV on, no doubt about it.

I'd like to suggest that you have a look at our "Coming Out" forum and see how many others handled it. Then you might want to customize everything to your own situatiuon.

Each time is different for different people....

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...hp?showforum=57

Donna Jean

[Flint]

Daniii, lol your family sounds so much like mine

I know you're not in the UK but if you ever get a chance to see a comedy called "The Royle Family" it is basically exactly what my family are like!

TV comes first, who has the remote comes second and family issues come last or any other issues.

Sounds like you're going in the right direction to have family therapy, cause families have a tendency to forget they're not all the same people and someone may have issues that need to be addressed. They also have a tendency to think that things will just go away and therefore don't feel it too important to listen to what one has to say!

Good luck.

Matt.

[Guest SouthernBelle]

Hi this is Daniii and I have a question about coming out to my parents: How should I do that? I'm just not sure on how to do it. I told them one time but that was because of a "suprise attack". What I mean by that is it wasn't a sit down conversation but mostly a conversation where it sounds like that I'm going through a phase. There were no expressed emotions, no family sit down time, just them not listening to me. I hope they turn off that God balsted TV. Actually I think it would be better to set up a family therapy session so that there are no distractions and that the therapist can get them back on track if they do. I was wondering if anybody has any suggestions. Thanks.

Lots of Hugs and kisses,

Daniii

Hi Danniii!

I actually JUST came out to my Dad and will be coming out to my Mom soon too. I'm in no way a 'seasoned' transitioner, but I can at least tell you my opinions...

First of all, coming out is the sort of thing where the TV should be off and all attention should be on you. I don't exactly know your situation, but if you think it's likely that they would try to remain distracted throughout, I would hafta say that talking with a therapist WOULD be your best bet. I can't imagine how my coming out to my Dad would have gone, had he been distracted... it was hard enough with him paying attention.

If you have a therapist you're already seeing and you like them, I would say go with that, but MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY DISCUSSED THIS MATTER WITH YOUR THERAPIST FIRST! I have read that there are STILL some therapists out there that are living in the dark ages (they might want to try and 'correct' this 'problem'). Otherwise, just be careful when selecting a therapist. They all believe different things and have different ways of going about things.

Doing a little research might help you out too. I did LOTS. I scoured the web for advice and bought 4 books (read them all cover-to-cover), but I can't imagine that anyone other than myself would want to go to such a degree. Still, knowledge is power and whether you're looking for tips on coming out or answers to possible questions they might ask, I can't see such a thing possible as being TOO prepared; but don't go in there ready to read from a script--speak from your heart.

Another important thing to note is that you should be prepared for the WORST POSSIBLE REACTION. Be prepared for them to say/do anything you might loathe, but, more importantly, be prepared to respond in a positive manner. If they react in anger (or whatever) and you respond with anger (or whatever), the result will likely be a fiery rage (or super-ultra-mega whatever). And even if it is ALREADY a fiery rage, having a cool attitude about things might (maybe) get through to them (at some point in time). You'll probably want to take your best shot at keeping them in your life (I HOPE!).

That's all I've got. Again, I'm new to transition. Take my words with a grain of salt, if you so desire, but know that coming out to my Dad (although VERY rough) went fairly well, and I took ALL of my own advice.

KISSES

Belle

[Guest Dana M]

Therapy is a good idea. I plan on saying, "I need to see a therapist because I feel like a girl."

Make sure to explain the mental health problems this can cause.