Beerless Beer And Tobaccoless Tobacco

[Guest digitalgremlin]

I'd dance (just to dance not with you of course ) But I am about to pass out.

G'night ye all. Have ye all a good night.

Bah... That's book getting to me. Meh oh well.

Night ye all

[Guest jrm]

yeah dancing sounds good

[Guest My_Genesis]

Any of the ladies wanna dance?

lol, they'd better stick with you, cuz I can't dance

[Guest Evan_J]

lol, they'd better stick with you, cuz I can't dance

note to RJ: not being able to dance is no excuse in the eyes of women not to ask.

And actually, what you might mean is you don't dance well. ALL people honestly "can dance" cuz at its very basic- est its just swaying to music.

[Guest My_Genesis]

note to RJ: not being able to dance is no excuse in the eyes of women not to ask.

And actually, what you might mean is you don't dance well. ALL people honestly "can dance" cuz at its very basic- est its just swaying to music.

I know, just figured I'd say it anyways. At least then they'll be warned I'll embarrass them. lol.

[Flint]

do you guys ever feel....

False?

Like it doesn't matter we do or say, what we try to change. Underneath it doesn't matter cause we still have the same things underneath the clothes. And (insert swear word here) nothing matters at the end of the day cause it's all some masquerade. Or maybe I just feel this way.

All these photos of people smiling with their friends. I've never had that and never will it seems. Where I live locally you can't meet many people, and you defo can't meet many people when you spend most of your life struggling to even get outside in the first place. I'm destined for loneliness. I don't wanna bring this post down, but I don't really wanna make a post of my own full of me ranting about how crap life is and how I actually kinda wish...Never mind still I don't wanna make a brand new post for it all because I'd rather try and keep my ranting on the low. But meh. I'm lonely. and it's all well and good having online friends. But it's still lonely. and while people may say you need to get used to your own company....Well I've been in my own company now for way too long.

And plus after an dream, of an adult nature now I'm just left feeling like everything is fake, because I'm not the bio man I like to try and pretend to myself to be, and I'm not the same bio man as in those dreams. Cause in those dreams I have confidence not to mention the fact I'm actually in a male body. It's left me longing for things I don't think I'll ever get in my life because of the fact I'm not in a bio males body. and anyone can tell me that "you'll find someone" but now they're just words to me, nothing more. Thats all they are to me now. They are not the truth. They are just words someone is saying in the hope to ease my sadness and loneliness if only just for a second or so. But when people say that, I just see words with false promises in them. I see over optimistic people. And I feel I'm just being realistic. And I keep telling myself I'll become an independent man and I'll be all about being there for YOURSELF and keep telling myself that I can do most the things I like doing in my own company, but I don't get hurt or any disappointments. And I tell myself I can live with that but it doesn't stop the desire inside me that I have to actually have someone to turn to sometimes it doesn't stop that desire for some sort of affection in my life.

[Guest My_Genesis]

do you guys ever feel....

False?

Like it doesn't matter we do or say, what we try to change. Underneath it doesn't matter cause we still have the same things underneath the clothes. And (insert swear word here) nothing matters at the end of the day cause it's all some masquerade. Or maybe I just feel this way.

All these photos of people smiling with their friends. I've never had that and never will it seems. Where I live locally you can't meet many people, and you defo can't meet many people when you spend most of your life struggling to even get outside in the first place. I'm destined for loneliness. I don't wanna bring this post down, but I don't really wanna make a post of my own full of me ranting about how crap life is and how I actually kinda wish...Never mind still I don't wanna make a brand new post for it all because I'd rather try and keep my ranting on the low. But meh. I'm lonely. and it's all well and good having online friends. But it's still lonely. and while people may say you need to get used to your own company....Well I've been in my own company now for way too long.

And plus after an dream, of an adult nature now I'm just left feeling like everything is fake, because I'm not the bio man I like to try and pretend to myself to be, and I'm not the same bio man as in those dreams. Cause in those dreams I have confidence not to mention the fact I'm actually in a male body. It's left me longing for things I don't think I'll ever get in my life because of the fact I'm not in a bio males body. and anyone can tell me that "you'll find someone" but now they're just words to me, nothing more. Thats all they are to me now. They are not the truth. They are just words someone is saying in the hope to ease my sadness and loneliness if only just for a second or so. But when people say that, I just see words with false promises in them. I see over optimistic people. And I feel I'm just being realistic. And I keep telling myself I'll become an independent man and I'll be all about being there for YOURSELF and keep telling myself that I can do most the things I like doing in my own company, but I don't get hurt or any disappointments. And I tell myself I can live with that but it doesn't stop the desire inside me that I have to actually have someone to turn to sometimes it doesn't stop that desire for some sort of affection in my life.

I totally get what you mean about feeling lonely and about wanting to be a bioguy. It hurts. I just started at a new school and hell, I'm lonely as ever. I don't wanna make a separate post about this either lol but I wanna let you know I get what you mean. I'm tired of being alone most of my life and I want to be one of those people in photos smiling with my friends... but when will I get to have that?

[Guest CalvinFTM]

*staggers in, not feeling so well*

*orders a 7-Up*

Matthias, sorry you'feeling lonesome, bro. *buys you a beer*

Wish I had some words of wisdom, but I'm kind of a loner/hermit by choice, so I'm not sure what to say... One thing is I have realized over the years is that the happier I am internally, and the more I put myself out there (by making friends, calling them up to do stuff, then meeting the friends' friends,) the more options I have when I do decide I need some company.

Dunno if that helps. Feel better soon, dude.

[Guest Evan_J]

Dude, never feel you're "bringing the thread down" the thread is the guy talk that doesn't have to be one exclusive thought and that could be anything from how come my stp sits to the left to I saw the girl Iwant with someone else. And definately the times when we feel like you feel fit. Its the boys lockerroom and a pokergame and sometimes a bachelor party without having to get married "all rolled into one place". Sometime it can be the garage outback. For stuff like this.

No its not just you who has days where it sucks and you doubt a lot of things. Do I ever feel like its a masquerade? No. Do I ever wonder and make the sign of the cross thinking "please god don't let somebody ELSE get that idea. [insert expletive][insert expletive] yeah.

Do I think to myself "NObody (meaning a date) is gonna be able to get past this with me" or "if they do how long will it be?" Yeah. I see girls though specifically list (if you look around sites where people basically "hook up" ) that they only date guys or trans guys and that is like "maybe I"m wrong?" Could be that time is changing things to a place where more and more (as people know exactly what IS a transitioned guy and what its called and talk to their friend and hear her dating story) that trans guys cease having the "depth" of dating problems that we imagine. I'm not sayin that it'll be "just like " natal this or natal that or anything like that . Prejudice will always exist. It exists for any descriptor you can name But not the cast iron wall we sometimes make up out of our

limited experiences with family and friends and plain ole by our selves.

And if your dysphoria gets to makin you crazy so that you say "see, she said 'guys or trans guys like I was something different", how the heck WOULD you like her to wave a flag saying she don't care?

[Guest Evan_J]

I know, just figured I'd say it anyways. At least then they'll be warned I'll embarrass them. lol.

The truth about dancing (at least as I've experienced it, and could be its cultural or local or something but.....)

The things that happen during dancing are this:

A fast dance- Women use a "fast dance" to showcase themselves. If you have some great moves or abilities to through in to impress her or make her feel like its a "joint" dance great. But if not, who cares cuz really the "point" of it is she wants to let you "see"her be cute/sexy/whatever.

A slow dance- Women wait to learn from you at the commencement of a slow tune how interested you are. No interest, you won't ask her. You ask her at all theres SOME possible interest. Next thing she looks to is HOW you hold her. If you hold her like your best friend whispered to you earlier she has the clap (cold, hard, space between you) you don't want her. You asked her cuz someone told you to or you though you owed it to her. If you hold her kind of close and normal you like her . How much? She don't know . But you like her and its info to her. If you really like her you might talk to a little or smile at her or possibly relax into holding her more closely. Slow to her tells her what you think of her. And no one needs to be Fred Astaire to tell a woman he likes her or he don't.

Almost NO one watches another couple dance. Either fast or slow. Unless of course they are "performance worthy". The only person watching is the person in the dance with you and I just told you what the person you'd be dancing with would be paying most attention to If it was all green lights and she was happy cuz she liked you , you could dance like a mule and she would laugh and like you still.

[Guest CattalieChan]

Ohhh... I feel so sad for you guys now. I was crying as I read your posts, and I wish I could be there for you in more than pixels. Well, I'll just give you the best cyber hug I can. Would dancing make you guys feel better? I know how you feel though. It just seems like no one will ever understand you, no one will ever be the right person for you. I'm only 16, but I already know that it's going to be hard. But don't ignore that idea that there will be someone eventually; I just so happened upon another transperson in school, and it meant the world to me. I'm sure that, if you give it time, it will all fall in place. Work for it, but don't expect immediate results. I hope that my woman's perspective isn't mucking up your bar here...

Huggs!

Natalie

[Guest My_Genesis]

But don't ignore that idea that there will be someone eventually; I just so happened upon another transperson in school, and it meant the world to me. I'm sure that, if you give it time, it will all fall in place. Work for it, but don't expect immediate results. I hope that my woman's perspective isn't mucking up your bar here...

Huggs!

Natalie

That was actually an uplifting post, m'lady. lol.

[Guest Evan_J]

I hope that my woman's perspective isn't mucking up your bar here...

Don't think that. Sometimes a womans perspective can be very nice. Just also remember that sometimes guys....are less than anxious to have [whatever] states of being if they consciously are thinking "there's a woman looking" lol. But uh....I don't remember you ever naming what you were having? (as in from the bar)

[Guest CattalieChan]

I think I was having a Pinia Colata.

*takes a sip*

*smiles*

[Flint]

Now I just need to find somebody to dance with.....

[Guest Evan_J]

Its official....you use a version of google the rest of us know NOTHING about lol.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

MATTY! You have lost WAY too much weight!

Lizzy

[Flint]

Its official....you use a version of google the rest of us know NOTHING about lol.

LOL!

[Guest CattalieChan]

I wish I had something as interesting as that to post, so I could dance with you, but all I got are words. I walk onto the dance floor, and come up to the flailing arm skeleton man. He graciously asks me to dance with him and I comply. We both flail our arms about in a hypnotic dance.

[Flint]

I wish I had something as interesting as that to post, so I could dance with you, but all I got are words. I walk onto the dance floor, and come up to the flailing arm skeleton man. He graciously asks me to dance with him and I comply. We both flail our arms about in a hypnotic dance.

How cool do we both look?

Now lets change the moves a bit.

[JJ]

No matter how hard I try I just can't get that move down!

Think I may have to go on a diet.

Is there a clap when your hands come together?

What do you call this dance anyway.

How about "Transfiguration"?

[Guest My_Genesis]

Is it Halloween already?

[Guest Evan_J]

I love Halloween. I try not to get caught up in the mood, but it doesn't work.

[Guest CalvinFTM]

Let's throw a guys' hangout room Halloween party. Shall we pick a theme? (Superheroes, movie characters, etc.) Or just come as whatever you want?

[Guest CalvinFTM]

Ohhh... I feel so sad for you guys now. I was crying as I read your posts, and I wish I could be there for you in more than pixels. Well, I'll just give you the best cyber hug I can. Would dancing make you guys feel better? I know how you feel though. It just seems like no one will ever understand you, no one will ever be the right person for you. I'm only 16, but I already know that it's going to be hard. But don't ignore that idea that there will be someone eventually; I just so happened upon another transperson in school, and it meant the world to me. I'm sure that, if you give it time, it will all fall in place. Work for it, but don't expect immediate results. I hope that my woman's perspective isn't mucking up your bar here...

Huggs!

Natalie

I'd dance with ya, mi'lady, but I'm way older than you. Also I'm a HORRIBLE dancer.

It's kind of you to stop in and offer your support! Hugs back.