Came Out To Two People With Mixed Results

[JenniferB]

The first person I came out to was a fellow employee who covers me when I'm on vacation. She has always been a fairly close friend, but very religious (that should have been a warning sign). She told me she would support me whatever decision I made, this was before I came to the decision I was actually Susan, and that she would keep quiet about it. Yet she does not understand and refuses to research the way I feel. So has has been calling me every few days trying to convince me and determined to change my mind. I'm a nice person and always try to be polite. It takes a little while before I start becoming annoyed. Next time she calls I'm going to tell her I've made my decision and that's that. And that if she really cared about me she should accept who I am. Other than that I won't have anything I really want to say to her. I just can't understand why some people are so narrow-minded.

Now the second person who I do work with is one of my best friends at work. When she saw the changes she knew something happened for the better. She didn't know I was trans but was very accepting when I hinted I was doing things more in girlie ways. Not only that she would encourage me. I told her I was going to grow my hair long, decorate my house, start collecting unicorns, even that I liked flowers, and I actually did color my hair. She even gave me advice on how to do this. So a couple days ago I confronted her and asked her why she was so accepting of me when I was showing signs of being more feminine. She said that it was because she saw the changes in me and that I has noticeably happier. So I told her I was trans and not only did it not bother her, she said I made the right decision and that she wished she knew about it being transgender because her now grown up daughter always acted like a male. She said she would have explored if he daughter was actually transgender. Now we are shopping online together at Lane Bryant and Coldwater Creek. Plus I send all my shipped packages to work and since we have the same last name and since her first name is Shirlee, all packages will be sent to her has S. <last name>. And she will give them to me. Of course I will have to let her open the box. Thank goodness, I don't believe a package addressed to me from Lane Bryant would go over very well.

Why does there have to be enemies and allies? Why can't people just accept who I am, and if they don't agree than just ignore it and leave me alone. How is it hurting their life in any way?

Love Susan

p.s. On a side note I've just realized all my close friends are female. Never really thought about it before.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Susan,

Most of my closest friends these days are female as well. Ever since I got married, my male friends have become very limited.

I'm going to recommend some heavy reading for you. Whipping Girl by Julia Serrano does a really fine job of exploring what it is about us that offends some people. It is very political in some ways, but I think it is an excellent book. It's certainly quite provocative and gave me a lot of food for thought, even when I disagreed with her.

Congrats on having one good friend who wants to be a part of your new life. That's wonderful.

luv

Gin

[Carolyn Marie]

Susan, that really is good news, and I congratulate you.

Listen hon, I'm a baseball fan, and in that sport, a .500 batting average is pretty dang good. So I would take the good and be happy with that.

You will never please everyone, but if 90 percent of your friends and colleagues and family are behind you, why worry about the other 10 percent?

At work, the important thing is not changing peoples minds, its getting them to treat you with the same level of respect and decency that they did

before you came out. Making someone behave properly is a hell of a lot easier than making someone believe properly.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie