Do Any Of You Have Anger Issues

[Guest Jay_son]

When I say anger issues, I mean surrounding being Trans/your Transition?

[Guest Donna Jean]

My anger issues were all before I knew that I'd transition!

I used to get pretty wired up...

But, now on estrogen for 16 months, I can better handle being mad....

I cry a lot...It's a great release!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Jay_son hon,

I too have been struggling with my anger issues. I am getting better, the more I understand myself.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Medicine Woman]

You're not joking, right? I was peed off the day I was born. No kidding, I looked down and saw my little wiener and started cursing immediately and I haven't stopped and don't plan to.

Hope I wasn't too vague.

[JJ]

It seems to me some degree of anger is almost unavoidable. My anger is much less and more manageable not that I reailze the truth. Before it was usually directed at myself-after all I was convinced someting was deeply wrong with me so anything negative that happened was my fault.

But it's also like when it comes to gender identity almost everyone else got a fat,juicy peach and I got a lemon-I knew from the first bite that something was very wrong. So while most people can just enjoy what they were given I have to struggle to make lemonade. It IS unfair and unfair always makes me mad. However, as everyone here knows, life is unfair and getting mad about it just gets in the way. At least now I understand that I need to make lemonade instead of trying to fool myself into thinking that lemon is a peach and trying to eat it.

Does that make any sense?

Kind of funny this should come up on a day I'm feeling all growley and snappy.

HUGS

JJ

[Guest Micha]

Yeah, up 'till lately I was very angry, short tempered and all that. Didn't take much to set me off, and it took a long time for me to calm down. I didn't think it had anything to do with gender identity, but since recognition and acceptance of who I am, it's not happening as often, and it doesn't take much time at all to calm down. I've become more patient and chill lately, and I think it has to do with that acceptance. So for me, I think it was more related to depression than anything, and trying to live up to a gender role that made me uncomfortable was a huge part of that.

I have a feeling though this isn't what you're talking about. Sorry

[Guest NatalieRene]

I actually was more angry before I started transitioning then I am now. I was depressed and grumpy and I had a razor thin temper. It turns out all of my issues where manifestations from being forced into a role that I loathed and was no good at. Now that I'm all but free to be myself everywhere and soon totally out I just don't feel angry anymore.

What sort of anger are you feeling Jay? Can you be a little more specific please?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

All of the above! Medicine Woman said it in a way that I feel everyday! But JJ said it like I would write it.

Being angry is part of being trans. Dee Jay is right, we have wept and cursed and otherwise worked our way through so much of it... and bernii? Like many of us she works hard to keep it at simmer, keeping the pot from boiling over!!!

Me?

(1) I hate GOD made me this way and I ruined the prime years of my life - 61 years of dysphoria - but I have come to terms with it. There is a reason, I just don't know it right now and GOD refuses to tell me - says it doesn't work that way - I have to figure it out - BUMMER

(2) I really really really HATE that I missed being the woman I am, first a baby girl , then a young girl in my mother's tender guidence, a teenager gaga over boys, a young woman dating and wooing, a young married woman, pregnant... a mother - I MISSED ALL THAT! I have a huge anger issue about my life, what I was supposed to have! REALLY

(3) I hate the gatekeeping - the hoops we have to junp through, the delays, the backpedling after promises made! When we get a firm diagnoses, for GOD's sake, just let us transition - and in a reasonable timetable! I have my SRS letter. I cannot get the savings to pay for it - other trans related issues continuoulsy take away any surpluses I can manage! UNFAIR.

(4) I hate my old body - it served me well, but it was never my real body. But that hate is in direct conflict with the self-love I had to work so hard to build up - I mean if I kill my body in a suicide thing, I cannot transition. DUH

(5) I hate that all the beautifu souls here at Laura's suffer so. That really gets to me! I try to work and help and advise and cajole and vent with each and everyone - BUT BUT BUT - I hate that they cry, that they want to kill themselves... and mostly that they, we, everyone here, has to struggle so hard. I mean, this condition is NOT our fault. NOT OUR FAULT!

(6) I hate the damnn ignorance of people outside our community! HATE HATE HATE that - so wrong. I won't get into that! Too much anger...

BUT

All that said - I have to make my peace with GOD, not look back at my missed life, learn to deal with the transitioning process, learn to love and accept my body (because I am REMODELLING the house - grin), keep loving and working with you here at Laura's. and just TRY to educate those I can, and ignore those I cannot.

Unresolved anger leads to madness... I am too good a person to ruin a perfectly good transition buy going insane.

Yes - transpeople are such melancholy creatures. Part of it is the huge burden of anger we keep carrying. So? Remember the song? "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" If only....

Wow - got me going there people... I was good to y'all though, left out my rant over my ongoing divorce negotiations (arent you lucky!!!)

JJ and I - bad day? hee hee, maybe so...

Lizzy

[Guest Medicine Woman]

All of the above! Medicine Woman said it in a way that I feel everyday! But JJ said it like I would write it.

Being angry is part of being trans. Dee Jay is right, we have wept and cursed and otherwise worked our way through so much of it... and bernii? Like many of us she works hard to keep it at simmer, keeping the pot from boiling over!!!

Me?

(1) I hate GOD made me this way and I ruined the prime years of my life - 61 years of dysphoria - but I have come to terms with it. There is a reason, I just don't know it right now and GOD refuses to tell me - says it doesn't work that way - I have to figure it out - BUMMER

(2) I really really really HATE that I missed being the woman I am, first a baby girl , then a young girl in my mother's tender guidence, a teenager gaga over boys, a young woman dating and wooing, a young married woman, pregnant... a mother - I MISSED ALL THAT! I have a huge anger issue about my life, what I was supposed to have! REALLY

(3) I hate the gatekeeping - the hoops we have to junp through, the delays, the backpedling after promises made! When we get a firm diagnoses, for GOD's sake, just let us transition - and in a reasonable timetable! I have my SRS letter. I cannot get the savings to pay for it - other trans related issues continuoulsy take away any surpluses I can manage! UNFAIR.

(4) I hate my old body - it served me well, but it was never my real body. But that hate is in direct conflict with the self-love I had to work so hard to build up - I mean if I kill my body in a suicide thing, I cannot transition. DUH

(5) I hate that all the beautifu souls here at Laura's suffer so. That really gets to me! I try to work and help and advise and cajole and vent with each and everyone - BUT BUT BUT - I hate that they cry, that they want to kill themselves... and mostly that they, we, everyone here, has to struggle so hard. I mean, this condition is NOT our fault. NOT OUR FAULT!

(6) I hate the damnn ignorance of people outside our community! HATE HATE HATE that - so wrong. I won't get into that! Too much anger...

BUT

All that said - I have to make my peace with GOD, not look back at my missed life, learn to deal with the transitioning process, learn to love and accept my body (because I am REMODELLING the house - grin), keep loving and working with you here at Laura's. and just TRY to educate those I can, and ignore those I cannot.

Unresolved anger leads to madness... I am too good a person to ruin a perfectly good transition buy going insane.

Yes - transpeople are such melancholy creatures. Part of it is the huge burden of anger we keep carrying. So? Remember the song? "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" If only....

Wow - got me going there people... I was good to y'all though, left out my rant over my ongoing divorce negotiations (arent you lucky!!!)

JJ and I - bad day? hee hee, maybe so...

Lizzy

Hey GirlFriend, "HERE'S A LITTLE SONG i WROTE, YOU CAN SING IT NOTE FOR NOTE...DON WORRY BE HAPPY!

jUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN A TRANS, YOU CAN STILL GET UP AND DANCE, DON WORRY, BE HAPPY...BEEEEEEE HAPPY"

I ain't gonna touch that God thing. The reason I'm an atheist is because I am a Transsexual. whoops! Anyway I tried to IM you and it said you weren't accepting messages. I thought you liked me [sniff]. So why don't you write to me? Please, it's lonely here in the desert. [sNIFF, SNIFF.

]April Rose -Medicine Woman

[Milly]

A very bad one. Enough so that just being around people ticks me off and I say things I shouldn't around people.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hey GirlFriend, "HERE'S A LITTLE SONG i WROTE, YOU CAN SING IT NOTE FOR NOTE...DON WORRY BE HAPPY!

jUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN A TRANS, YOU CAN STILL GET UP AND DANCE, DON WORRY, BE HAPPY...BEEEEEEE HAPPY"

I ain't gonna touch that God thing. The reason I'm an atheist is because I am a Transsexual. whoops! Anyway I tried to IM you and it said you weren't accepting messages. I thought you liked me [sniff]. So why don't you write to me? Please, it's lonely here in the desert. [sNIFF, SNIFF.

]April Rose -Medicine Woman

Hon - my wife kept my commuter (I guess she needs two) and I cannot IM on this one because it belongs to the office. I chat on FaceBook all the time? Hey - love the lyrics! GONNA DANCE DANCE DANCE!

Grin

Lizzy

Town of 2000 - three of you? STOP DRINKING THE WATER!

[JJ]

(1) I hate GOD made me this way and I ruined the prime years of my life - 61 years of dysphoria - but I have come to terms with it. There is a reason, I just don't know it right now and GOD refuses to tell me - says it doesn't work that way - I have to figure it out - BUMMER

(2) I really really really HATE that I missed being the woman I am, first a baby girl , then a young girl in my mother's tender guidence, a teenager gaga over boys, a young woman dating and wooing, a young married woman, pregnant... a mother - I MISSED ALL THAT! I have a huge anger issue about my life, what I was supposed to have! REALLY

Lizzy

Just a short(for me) ramble off subject.

I remembered living before from my earliest memories and I am a Christian. But I firmly believe in a Christian form of reincarnation. Almost every major religion-from early Christian, Jewish and Muslim among hundreds of others have had sects that believe in reincarnation. God MUST be fair and life just isn't fair unless it's part of a larger learning process that we helped choose. So if we grew and learned then next time we will be rewarded. A simplistic way to put a much more complex belief. I even found a mainstream church that will accept my beliefs! If I chose this then I had a good reason and I will get through it.

It really helps my anger to think that next time around I'll be a cisgendered little boy playing with my boy toys while little Lizzy is busy with her girl stuff. And just maybe I'll tease her for being so girly and she'll stick out her tongue at me for being a gross boy while just for a moment we recognize just how lucky we really are.

It's a nice fantasy anyway.

Love

JJ

[Guest lvmyftm]

We partners get angry about it as well. Sometimes I just want to scream and hit something it makes me so mad. WHY couldn't he of just been born the way he should of been?!?! Why does he have to go through all this physical and emotional pain just to be who he is? I can understand his dysphoria to some degree. I think of his body as fully male but then seeing him is always a shocking reminder that that isn't so. And that pisses me off to no end!Granted I don't tell him all this but sometimes it just kills me that he doesn't have the body he should of been born with. Makes my head spin sometimes trying to figure out what went wrong that he developed with a female body instead of the male one he was clearly meant to have.

[Flint]

Me? anger issues? No (curse word here) way! How dare you think i have such issues! ARRGGGGHHHHHHHH *throws chairs out the window*

Does that answer the question?

[Guest Micha]

I hate that all the beautifu souls here at Laura's suffer so. That really gets to me! I try to work and help and advise and cajole and vent with each and everyone - BUT BUT BUT - I hate that they cry, that they want to kill themselves... and mostly that they, we, everyone here, has to struggle so hard. I mean, this condition is NOT our fault. NOT OUR FAULT!

*hugs*

[Guest Pól]

I did when I was a child, to the point of where my parents sent me and my older brother to a child psychologist for about a year. I think a lot of what was going on with me was related to the gender dysphoria, and it was exacerbating an already fierce sibling rivalry.

Now, not so much.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

JJ wrote - next time around I'll be a cisgendered little boy playing with my boy toys while little Lizzy is busy with her girl stuff. And just maybe I'll tease her for being so girly and she'll stick out her tongue at me for being a gross boy while just for a moment we recognize just how lucky we really are.

Awww.... I think we have a pact of a sort going here. Meet me at the gate (St Peter's) and we will sign the papers (even non-believers have to go up to that golden gate - you understand! It is decribed in all the books!) I wanna exchage kharma with you! GRIN

Lizzy

[JJ -Don't mess up and kill someone or worse! I can't wait for all eternity for ya to show up!]

[JJ]

JJ wrote - next time around I'll be a cisgendered little boy playing with my boy toys while little Lizzy is busy with her girl stuff. And just maybe I'll tease her for being so girly and she'll stick out her tongue at me for being a gross boy while just for a moment we recognize just how lucky we really are.

Awww.... I think we have a pact of a sort going here. Meet me at the gate (St Peter's) and we will sign the papers (even non-believers have to go up to that golden gate - you understand! It is decribed in all the books!) I wanna exchage kharma with you! GRIN

Lizzy

[JJ -Don't mess up and kill someone or worse! I can't wait for all eternity for ya to show up!]

I'll be there! Haven't even seriously thought about killing anyone since my divorce and I was considering that a mercy killing-mercy for the rest of the world that is. Oophs! My darker side is showing but I should get credit for not actually following through right?

Love

JJ

[Guest Zolrek]

I do when places of business call me and ask me to call back. Then I have to go through 100 choices on the phone line just to hear their phone line is too busy to take my call. WHY CALL ME then ask me to cal back if its near impossible to get in contact with them?

[Guest miss kindheart]

When I was living my life as a man with Testosterone running through my body. I did tend to get mad quite easily.

I use to smoke and drink to ease the tension.

But since I have been transitioning, I have eliminated most all of the T , and replaced it with Estrogen

I seem to be a calmer, nicer, more loving person now

And I am happy to say that I have quit drinking and smoking all together now

I don't feel the need, and decided to save my liver for E

vanna

[Guest My_Genesis]

All of the above! Medicine Woman said it in a way that I feel everyday! But JJ said it like I would write it.

Being angry is part of being trans. Dee Jay is right, we have wept and cursed and otherwise worked our way through so much of it... and bernii? Like many of us she works hard to keep it at simmer, keeping the pot from boiling over!!!

Me?

(1) I hate GOD made me this way and I ruined the prime years of my life - 61 years of dysphoria - but I have come to terms with it. There is a reason, I just don't know it right now and GOD refuses to tell me - says it doesn't work that way - I have to figure it out - BUMMER

(2) I really really really HATE that I missed being the woman I am, first a baby girl , then a young girl in my mother's tender guidence, a teenager gaga over boys, a young woman dating and wooing, a young married woman, pregnant... a mother - I MISSED ALL THAT! I have a huge anger issue about my life, what I was supposed to have! REALLY

(3) I hate the gatekeeping - the hoops we have to junp through, the delays, the backpedling after promises made! When we get a firm diagnoses, for GOD's sake, just let us transition - and in a reasonable timetable! I have my SRS letter. I cannot get the savings to pay for it - other trans related issues continuoulsy take away any surpluses I can manage! UNFAIR.

(4) I hate my old body - it served me well, but it was never my real body. But that hate is in direct conflict with the self-love I had to work so hard to build up - I mean if I kill my body in a suicide thing, I cannot transition. DUH

(5) I hate that all the beautifu souls here at Laura's suffer so. That really gets to me! I try to work and help and advise and cajole and vent with each and everyone - BUT BUT BUT - I hate that they cry, that they want to kill themselves... and mostly that they, we, everyone here, has to struggle so hard. I mean, this condition is NOT our fault. NOT OUR FAULT!

(6) I hate the damnn ignorance of people outside our community! HATE HATE HATE that - so wrong. I won't get into that! Too much anger...

BUT

All that said - I have to make my peace with GOD, not look back at my missed life, learn to deal with the transitioning process, learn to love and accept my body (because I am REMODELLING the house - grin), keep loving and working with you here at Laura's. and just TRY to educate those I can, and ignore those I cannot.

Unresolved anger leads to madness... I am too good a person to ruin a perfectly good transition buy going insane.

Yes - transpeople are such melancholy creatures. Part of it is the huge burden of anger we keep carrying. So? Remember the song? "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" If only....

Wow - got me going there people... I was good to y'all though, left out my rant over my ongoing divorce negotiations (arent you lucky!!!)

JJ and I - bad day? hee hee, maybe so...

Lizzy

Lizzy has spoken for me. Thank you Lizzy

Yes, I have a lot of issues with anger. Funny this should come up. I was reading the book "True Selves" just a few hours ago (goin to post a topic about that once I'm done here) and there is a section where they talk about fear, guilt, anger, and shame. The anger section was laid out very much like Lizzy's post above. Reading it actually made me angry!! And I was ready to cry.... all the hurt, all the anger, all the frustration I've had to carry with me through life laid out before me in a book...

...and I felt like throwing a chair at someone! Now I am rather enjoying reading this book but that part was difficult to get through!

Reading a book about transsexuality and having that kind of emotional response ... just goes to show who I really am... I wish other people *coughparentscough* would see that... Then thinking about how they just don't get it made me angry all over again! ARGGHHH!!

[Guest doodle]

I don't think you can find a trans person that doesn't have anger problems. We got screwed by nature true, but getting all the trouble we get from society and the crazyness of the heterosexual binary gender crap. Our anger is a response to that our lives don't have to be so hard. How can that not make one so intensely angry

Kelly

[Guest Patsy]

All of the above! Medicine Woman said it in a way that I feel everyday! But JJ said it like I would write it.

Being angry is part of being trans. Dee Jay is right, we have wept and cursed and otherwise worked our way through so much of it... and bernii? Like many of us she works hard to keep it at simmer, keeping the pot from boiling over!!!

Me?

(1) I hate GOD made me this way and I ruined the prime years of my life - 61 years of dysphoria - but I have come to terms with it. There is a reason, I just don't know it right now and GOD refuses to tell me - says it doesn't work that way - I have to figure it out - BUMMER

(2) I really really really HATE that I missed being the woman I am, first a baby girl , then a young girl in my mother's tender guidence, a teenager gaga over boys, a young woman dating and wooing, a young married woman, pregnant... a mother - I MISSED ALL THAT! I have a huge anger issue about my life, what I was supposed to have! REALLY

(3) I hate the gatekeeping - the hoops we have to junp through, the delays, the backpedling after promises made! When we get a firm diagnoses, for GOD's sake, just let us transition - and in a reasonable timetable! I have my SRS letter. I cannot get the savings to pay for it - other trans related issues continuoulsy take away any surpluses I can manage! UNFAIR.

(4) I hate my old body - it served me well, but it was never my real body. But that hate is in direct conflict with the self-love I had to work so hard to build up - I mean if I kill my body in a suicide thing, I cannot transition. DUH

(5) I hate that all the beautifu souls here at Laura's suffer so. That really gets to me! I try to work and help and advise and cajole and vent with each and everyone - BUT BUT BUT - I hate that they cry, that they want to kill themselves... and mostly that they, we, everyone here, has to struggle so hard. I mean, this condition is NOT our fault. NOT OUR FAULT!

(6) I hate the damnn ignorance of people outside our community! HATE HATE HATE that - so wrong. I won't get into that! Too much anger...

BUT

All that said - I have to make my peace with GOD, not look back at my missed life, learn to deal with the transitioning process, learn to love and accept my body (because I am REMODELLING the house - grin), keep loving and working with you here at Laura's. and just TRY to educate those I can, and ignore those I cannot.

Unresolved anger leads to madness... I am too good a person to ruin a perfectly good transition buy going insane.

Yes - transpeople are such melancholy creatures. Part of it is the huge burden of anger we keep carrying. So? Remember the song? "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" If only....

Wow - got me going there people... I was good to y'all though, left out my rant over my ongoing divorce negotiations (arent you lucky!!!)

JJ and I - bad day? hee hee, maybe so...

Lizzy

Brilliantly put, Lizzy....and saved me a great deal of typing!

[Guest Mia99]

Oh boy! Anger,depression, anxiety, panic attacks. Past alcohol abuse. For the longest time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I always knew I had a strong feminine side. But my father was very tough on me. Old fashion Italian NYC cop.I couldn't show a hint of softness. He would call me "sweetheart" an other hurtful things. Now I'm starting to put it all together. A lot of my anger I think comes from not being able to be who I am! I want to yell it from the roof sometimes! What is wrong with being me? I'm not hurting anyone! Why do you want to judge and hurt me? I understand not everyone is like that. All I know is I need to do something before I self destruct. When I accepted me for what I am, I feel at least I have some control of my future. I'm just taking baby steps for now but at least I'm going in the right direction! Being here and knowing I'm not alone in this has helped tremendously! Everyone is so friendly ,understanding and informative!

I love you all!

Mia

[JJ]

Oh boy! Anger,depression, anxiety, panic attacks. Past alcohol abuse. For the longest time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I always knew I had a strong feminine side. But my father was very tough on me. Old fashion Italian NYC cop.I couldn't show a hint of softness. He would call me "sweetheart" an other hurtful things. Now I'm starting to put it all together. A lot of my anger I think comes from not being able to be who I am! I want to yell it from the roof sometimes! What is wrong with being me? I'm not hurting anyone! Why do you want to judge and hurt me? I understand not everyone is like that. All I know is I need to do something before I self destruct. When I accepted me for what I am, I feel at least I have some control of my future. I'm just taking baby steps for now but at least I'm going in the right direction! Being here and knowing I'm not alone in this has helped tremendously! Everyone is so friendly ,understanding and informative!

I love you all!

Mia

Hi Mia

I am so glad you have accepted yourself and have a more positive attitude. That is a very difficult background to be coming from. I guess your dad had seen how tough and mean life could be and your softness scared him. He probably fel like he was loving and protecting you by being tough on you. But that doesn't make it any less hurtful. In time, as people see this as a birth anomaly out of anyone's control it will help. People don't yell at or make fun of those with other birth anamolies-at least after grade school and hopefully it will someday be the same with us. It wasn't so long ago that any differences were ridiculed-comics even made livings out of acting like they were brain damaged! Look at Jerry Lewis. No one would dream of doing it today.

Knowing and accepting really does make a huge difference. This is so new sometimes I want to pull back to that safer if more miserable state but then I look at the difference within and know that it is true and I can't run away again. A couple of days ago I had a bad spot hit. We were all arguing with each other and that can trigger the depression for me. But it lasted a few hours instead of days and I felt a solid ground beneath to stand on. Plus I didn't harm or plan to harm myself.

And I came here -I didn't post about the depression but just being here makes such a difference.

For me the real key is acceptance. There is nothing wrong with me-with any of us- but society sure needs to clean up it's act!

love JJ