What Have You Learnt About Being A Man?

[Guest My_Genesis]

lol. I am willin to pass on my knowledge.

But itll cost ya $5

Is that by the hour or the full package deal?

[Guest Cowboy]

Is that by the hour or the full package deal?

good question. lol.

ill get back to u on that. XD

[Guest My_Genesis]

good question. lol.

ill get back to u on that. XD

thanks

[Guest D.V. Faust]

I've learned that I'll loathe sports (and NASCAR) regardless of what gender I identify as.

I've learned that binding SUCKS.

I've also learned that I might actually jump out of my pants the day I'm finally able to grow a full-on beard (or goatee, as I'd like to do).

Also, I've realized that I'm not manly nor am I effeminate. I'm just a man somewhere in the spectrum.

[Flint]

I've learned that I'll loathe sports (and NASCAR) regardless of what gender I identify as.

I've learned that binding SUCKS.

I've also learned that I might actually jump out of my pants the day I'm finally able to grow a full-on beard (or goatee, as I'd like to do).

Also, I've realized that I'm not manly nor am I effeminate. I'm just a man somewhere in the spectrum.

I wouldn't worry about that. I'm not overly manly to be honest. Nor am I effeminate. Although some would disagree. But the main reason people think I'm effeminate is because I have a baby face that makes me look about 12 so when I say I'm 20 including having this voice people automatically assume "Effeminate gay man!" Straight away. I don't act all macho, macho. But I don't act effeminate either. Like you. Well..I act a bit more macho than I used to do. Not overly so. It's more of a confidence thing. I feel it boosts my confidence when I do. Maybe I am actually macho deep inside but not confident enough to fully show it. lol

[Guest Evan_J]

Maybe I am actually macho deep inside but not confident enough to fully show it. lol

Opinion: there are a lot of things that people are AND are not that they don't "honestly" let out until they get in the post transitioned state. For some people it may be that they end up "less" macho. For some people it actually is that they are a prick LOL.

[Guest Shawn9]

Opinion: there are a lot of things that people are AND are not that they don't "honestly" let out until they get in the post transitioned state. For some people it may be that they end up "less" macho. For some people it actually is that they are a prick LOL.

That's actually one of my SO's concerns, Evan. That's I'll become a big(ger) jerk. <shrug> It's not like I'm planning it.

[Guest My_Genesis]

I've learned that binding SUCKS.

I've learned that too

[Guest Evan_J]

That's actually one of my SO's concerns, Evan. That's I'll become a big(ger) jerk. <shrug> It's not like I'm planning it.

I think a lot of SO's express that as a concern particularly of transmen(at least thats the impression I get). And likely its influenced by the ideas culled out of social structure at large; if men are said to believe that they are better than women will my partner take on that idea. I think that its entirely possible for trans males to have superiority feelings , or sexist ideology but it doesn't "occur" at the point of transitioning, it was there all along if thats the case.

You're new so you haven't had the "priviledge" (yeah right) of reading some of my old stuff where I confess my chauvanism. But I do confess it. And I do it cuz I know I've been accused of it since highschool dang near. a ) I don't want anybody to believe "its new" b ) I'm savin us both some time cuz I got a pretty good idea of what I'm gonna say on a lot of topics lol.

You're not gonna come out of this being someone you weren't already. You might be more comfortable being it lol . But you won't be someone you had no clue was there. Other folks might not have known. But I'd bet you had a pretty good clue.

[Guest Shawn9]

. I think that its entirely possible for trans males to have superiority feelings , or sexist ideology but it doesn't "occur" at the point of transitioning, it was there all along if thats the case.

You're new so you haven't had the "priviledge" (yeah right) of reading some of my old stuff where I confess my chauvanism. But I do confess it. And I do it cuz I know I've been accused of it since highschool dang near. a ) I don't want anybody to believe "its new" b ) I'm savin us both some time cuz I got a pretty good idea of what I'm gonna say on a lot of topics lol.

My SO is a guy. So I don't think we're going to get in a position where I'd view myself superior because of transitioning. We have talked about whether I was more defensive/repressed about my identity because I didn't want to be anti-feminist, when I'm a strong egalitarian for many thing.

That said, I do have a chauvinist streak already. I make fun of friends who date women (no matter the orientation and gender) when they have classic "chick" moments in the relationship. And when it comes to sports, I've always tried harder against guys and felt comfortable playing on boys or mens teams. Anything coed had to be competitive with serious athletes. Playing in a girls league never brought out my athletic best. Like I was incapable of trying my hardest against girls. I was as much against letting girls who suck join open games as anyone (I didn't want anyone to judge me by them). I also know that if I see a guy at hockey for the first time, I assume he is average until I get more information. If I see a girl for the first time, I assume she sucks.

I assume that any 'changes' in my mindset would come from within this same framework that I already know I have. Will have to track down your old posts!

[Guest Evan_J]

My SO is a guy. So I don't think we're going to get in a position where I'd view myself superior because of transitioning. We have talked about whether I was more defensive/repressed about my identity because I didn't want to be anti-feminist, when I'm a strong egalitarian for many thing.

That said, I do have a chauvinist streak already. I make fun of friends who date women (no matter the orientation and gender) when they have classic "chick" moments in the relationship. And when it comes to sports, I've always tried harder against guys and felt comfortable playing on boys or mens teams. Anything coed had to be competitive with serious athletes. Playing in a girls league never brought out my athletic best. Like I was incapable of trying my hardest against girls. I was as much against letting girls who suck join open games as anyone (I didn't want anyone to judge me by them). I also know that if I see a guy at hockey for the first time, I assume he is average until I get more information. If I see a girl for the first time, I assume she sucks.

I assume that any 'changes' in my mindset would come from within this same framework that I already know I have. Will have to track down your old posts!

You actually hit on a lot of stuff I meant. And its not that you would necessarily view yourself as thinking you're superior but at the point certain people even hear you're transitioning it stands to become an accusation. The fact that you joke about the classic chick moments or don't want some woman participating in whatever is no longer just scowled at and not attacked. Now its that you "hate women" and all these other b.s. accusations when really you felt all those things since ya got here.

[Flint]

I have recently realised I'm much more competitive against other men than I am against any females. I've only just realised this cause I've only just started to have a few more male friends than I used to have. And I have noticed this side to me. But for me it's not because I think girls are weaker or anything it's that I WANT to be better than those other men. I want to be superior to other men! I don't see myself as superior over anyone of any gender though. But when it comes to competing over something with another man then I want to be superior at that particular game.

[Guest Evan_J]

when it comes to competing over something with another man then I want to be superior at that particular game.

Normal male behaviour if you ask me.

Competition, (true competition) can "only" be undertaken with someone comparable to you. <<And really if that don't sound like the ultimate sexist remark I dunno what is. However, at the point something is VASTLY opposite something else (two types of vehicles lets say, a sports car vs. a motorcycle) can you really compare them? A competiton in the end is a comparison for "best"-ment. It only makes sense if the two things in the competition are comparable.

[Guest Shawn9]

I have recently realised I'm much more competitive against other men than I am against any females.

Word. My favourite moment is when it switches in poeple's mind from "<x> is good for a girl" to just "<x> is good." I didn't use to be aware of when it happened as others were perceiving me, so I think it put me in prove myself/ultra competitive mode with guys even more. Now, I know when it happens - have figured out more of the sign (for example, people NOT being overly impressed with acts of minimal competence - heh).

I've actually become less competitive & slightly more patient as I've mature, because I had a few guy friends convince me that I really AM that good sometimes, to the point where I didn't even realize how much I already was being accepted as good for ANYONE & better than many guys. One funny reference point is when I got a job offer and was trying to figure out where to live near the job, so I got in touch with a guy I didn't know that well growing up. We weren't in the same grade, so while we knew each other, I didn't think he'd really remember me. I contacted him online, and his response was "of course I remember you, you used to kick my <butt> in baseball." Ha.

Once when I was skating at a new rink, I inadvertently got into a clash with the alpha male on the ice. We were both trying to figure each other out. I didn't know him or anyone, so I didn't know he was THAT guy. He is extremely 'chivalrous' in a traditional "women & children first" sort of way & older than me too (some 15-20 years). His immediate reaction was not to challenge me. I take that as an insult. It also worked out very poorly in results - cause I got a bunch of freebies I didn't earn and people on his team he's left out to dry get annoyed cause now they look especially bad for me besting them even when they WERE trying.

After that false start though & another misunerstanding where he thought I was trying to overthrow his leadership (I wasn't - I just wanted to be taken seriously), we got to know and accept each other. I do view him as the alpha guy at that place. I'm not extroverted or outgoing enough to want to be THE leader in all situations. I trusted his judgment, the fact that he's senior to me in age & residence in the home turf, and I didn't hand that over until I felt like he took my opinions and abilities seriously. And he came to realize who I am. His attitude after that first day, btw, was "First time is free, next time you pay." He hasn't let up on me since, and I give as good as I take. We're both happier that way.

I find the best way not to be chauvinistic or get into that competitive mindset or make it obvious that you're not 'trying' around the girls is just to shift into my coaching mode. I have coaching experience, and if you view your role as a coach, then it really is about helping the other person develop their own skills and abilities, at whatever level they are at.

[Guest Cowboy]

I have recently realised I'm much more competitive against other men than I am against any females. I've only just realised this cause I've only just started to have a few more male friends than I used to have. And I have noticed this side to me. But for me it's not because I think girls are weaker or anything it's that I WANT to be better than those other men. I want to be superior to other men! I don't see myself as superior over anyone of any gender though. But when it comes to competing over something with another man then I want to be superior at that particular game.

Im also this way.

I have that part of me where i want to be better than the other men around me.

I want to be smarter, better, faster, stronger, more well conducted, etc.

Im not like this with women, unless we are playing a game or actually competing in something against one another.

But as far as wanting to be superior to other men, especially the ones around me, its been that way since i can remember.

Ive always been a competitive person, but i do notice myself thinkin more of "i have to out do this guy" around other guys

Some times it wont even be in a competitive situation and i catch me thinkin like that and i have to tell myself to stop.

Kinda annoyin, but it happens often.