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Lgbt Persecution


blackkatsen

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Today while I was in the car, a guy on the radio came on a started talking about about transsexuals and LGBTs and stuff. The real thing he was talking about was how these LGBT people say they aren't being protected by the government or receiving the proper civil rights. And the things he was saying do make a lot of sense actually. First, he said that while LGBTs may be the target of physical persecution (hate crimes, beatings, etc), the government can't really do anything, but send the person to jail. He said that would happen to anyone who did the crime. The government can't stop people from disliking LGBTs, so the government is doing all it can to protect LGBTs. Then he moved on to talk about civil rights. He basically said that an LGBT person has the same exact rights as any straight person. The government can't take any rights away from you, because you're LGBT.

He wrapped it up by saying that LGBTs maybe be disliked and not supported or accepted in society, but it's not the government's problem. LGBTs are getting their rights, and I quote "they just need to shut up and sit down and be happy with the same rights everyone else has. At least the military hasn't gone out and executed them."

I kinda agree with him that LGBTs have the same rights, but maybe there's something I'm missing. I don't know.

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Guest dolly

actually, no. we dont.

there are still quite a few states that do not protects glbt community members from hate based crimes including the state i live in as well as protect our rights to employmet meaning you can be fired for being openly gay or lesbian or transgendered. and to make things worse, the us government,specifically the democratic party just recently a few monhs back put up a bill to protect glbt members from hate crimes and wrongful termintaion as an addon to a bill they knew would get shot down in the senate.

but if you agree with him thats fine.

i dont.

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Guest Leah1026

You're missing the obvious: Marriage equality.

Others: Employment discrimination, housing discrimination, insurance discrimination to name a few.

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Guest Leah1026

And I forgot to explain that even people born transsexual that are straight need marriage equality. There have been a few cases where state governments have declared a legal marriage null and void based on the gender assigned at birth! Cisgendered foflks don't have any such worries.

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Guest Snow Angel
There have been a few cases where state governments have declared a legal marriage null and void based on the gender assigned at birth!

That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard. What the hell is wrong with people?

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You're missing the obvious: Marriage equality.

Others: Employment discrimination, housing discrimination, insurance discrimination to name a few.

I'd like to expand on that if I may. Of the thousands of emails I've received many have been the victims in the topics listed in the Quote above. We aren't talking a handfull of incidents here. The numbers are in the high hundreds of thousands. Let's say you decided to transition and dress the part. After your landlord spots you he tacks an eviction notice to your door. Believe it or not this is legal in most states. If you don't pass 100%, good luck getting another apartment. Another scenario: You have a great job and good income and decided to transition on the job. Unless you have a job with a fortune 500 company there is a 90% chance you will be fired. After years of stellar reviews your boss suddenly says your performance is subpar. Transsexualism is a medical condition with a medical surgical solution. Yet it is the only medical condition not covered by insurance. Then there is violence which is epidemic against our community. We 've had several FTM's raped here just like the movie on Brandon Teena's life. MTF's have been severaly beaten and killed. So are effeminate Gay's. Try peeing if you don't pass in a public restroom. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment even when it's not a crime.

Percentage wise transgenders are the group most discriminated against by far. The FBI does not even keep statistics on crimes against us. It's like the government saying "It's ok! Nail a transgender, it won't count". We have a 70% unemployment rate, a 50% transsexual suicide attempt rate by age 20* and I couldn't even guess the percentage of those on the streets because they don't have computers to report to us that they are homeless, pennieless and hungry. Many are turned away from homeless shelters. Some turn to prostitution because it is the only way out. Try transitioning in a government office and you'll learn first hand of their discrimnatory hiring practices. You will never get a security clearance. Some Transgenders calling Government sanctioned suicide prevention hotlines have been hung up on for stating they were transgender or Gay. They never called emergency services leaving people to bleed to death or worse. IN addition several were refused treatment by EMT's because they were transgender. If we were any other group with numbers like these the public and even the government would be outraged. Notice that they are not. When Veterans of the 2 wars going on now had an increse of a few percentage points in their suicide rate the public and the government demanded action. People were outraged. Note that 55% of our transgender users are veterans here. Where's the outcry for them? While some get treatment in VA facilities many will not until after SRS.

The discrimination against us is not just from the public it is from and by our own Government. If you've changed your name the government insists your gender marker not be changed until you have bottom surgery or SRS. What if you can't afford it or your health doesn't permit it? What if you are FTM and don't want sub-standard surgery? This means that everytime you show your ID or write a check that the salesclerk or airport security can "OUT" you. This has already happened to hundreds of thousands of us. In several instances store employees used the public intercom to OUT us. LGB's do not have these problems. These are not just civil rights violations they are "Human Rights Violations. Most of the public wouldn't treat their dogs or pet rodents this way.

MY email is confidential, though for moments like this I wish it weren't. I get a thousand Transgender Horror stories a day. Now multiply that times 4 years (1,460,000) and you get an idea how often this is occurring to those in our community. All I can do is give you a general idea of what is happening out there. I can't tell their stories because it is privledged information. I am appealing though to those that wrote to tell your stories here where you will get support. Writing is very therapeutic. If you've had violence or discrimination committed against you please post here and let the world know what's been done to you. Now is the time to speak up.

Transgender ten year old committs suicide. http://www.tsroadmap.com/notes/index.php/s...ommits_suicide/ .

Laura

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Guest KellyGirl

Well,very true. I'm not confident in myself...somtimes my feelings are so strong I can't funtion...somtimes it feels like a little knot in my stomch and I brush it off... it times like that where I think "things are so bad...would I be better off not being myself?" would I be better to look for love and a career and a family and all those things while I compltly throw away any oputunity to have a proper sense of self? the Gov is screwed up, plain and simple...I have a great distaste for republicans being that they are now assoicated with the bible thumping agenda, not that I don't approve of religon...but people claiming to be "christ like" sure do act in some pretty hateful ways. as Laura said Democrats arn't helping us either...third party anyone? heh.

We are a gov ran by the people....if they gov dosn't help us. it's partly an extension of the fact the people at large don't care. but I'm not ignorant...I know the Goverment lies.... but...

What Laura said is the truth though. we need to speak up if we expect anyone to listen. it's scary but it must be done... it's our world for the making.

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The Government teaches the public to discriminate against us by their actions. Look at a Gay member of the House of Representatives Barney Frank and HRC ("Human Rights Campaign) who should know better. They encourage open discrimination against Transgender persons. Who has more homeless on the street, us or LGB's? Are LGB's denied medical coverage? Excluding us from LGB protections is not only a shame it is a "Moral Hate Crime". The Bible thumpers for "Jesus" in power seem to overlook that. How many more of us have to die in "Jesus" name because they misheard his message? If He were hear I'd bet he'd be on our side. The Transgender death toll is HUGE. It is not only suicides and violence it is also from medical complications to transgender people that cannot go to doctors because they are not covered or are afraid of rejection. They get hormones on the street or the internet without being monitored by doctors. They are from liquid silicone injections and some from hunger. It is clear that by ignoring our issues and problems that if all our dead were ever actually counted the number would be staggering. What do you call it when millions in one group is caused to die or are killed? Where I'm from some would call that genocide.

These forums are widley read. You are right so far only a handful has spoken up when there are 4 million of us with stories to tell. Posts here have a very long life. It's a record of what is really happening to us even though it's anonymous here. If enough of us talk, someday someone will hear us.

Laura

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Guest Rev. Michal

I've had a murder attempt, homo and transphobic things shouted at me, and even just had people flat-out tell me that I am what I was born as and that nothing will change that, and that I should be happy with it.

I long ago discarded the notion of suicide, I don't want to traumatize the person who finds me dead, or the person whose car I jump in front of, or the people who see me jump off a tall building, or my brains splattered all over the wall.

Suicide is more than a self-destructive act, it destroys the people around you, even the ones who don't know you from Adam (or Eve, as the case may be). It ain't pretty, but suicide is the most ultimately selfish act that I can think of. It's the last, loudest "screw you" that anyone can shout, and that last shout is always muffled because nobody wants to hear that we're suffering, suffering in these roles forced upon us from birth, suffering in our bodies, hating ourselves because of what we've been taught, fearing beatings, rape, murder, homelessness, poverty, fearing our families saying the worst thing possible to say to their children: "I hate you for what you are".

Having to hide our identities, having to pretend for years and years because we don't even feel safe to talk to our families because until we reach the legal majority, we're stuck with them whether things turn out well or poorly, numbing the pain with drink or drugs or sex.

We are the hidden victims in this world, this world that just wants to sweep us under the carpet and pretend we never existed. We are the bodies under the floorboards that don't make the news, we are the suicide notes that are not read, ours are the scars that no one wants to see, ours is the pain that no one will hear or understand until they see us, our faces, talk and listen to us, not until we are more than an abstract. Right now, we're not really real. Not to them, they may see us passing in the street, or at Pride or Maury or wherever, but we're not really real until they know us and see us bleed inside, until they know what we go through.

Until we touch their hearts.

Don't Shoot the Messenger.

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Guest Mr. Fox

Everybody on here has good points. As for hate crime till, I don't think they should be passed. When reading that sentence, it sounds evil, but think about it. The person still gets punished under current law for the crime they have committed. All that is being punished is the thought behind it, and people have the right to think what they want. So basically hate crime bills create the concept of thought crime.

However, that doesn't mean that the government is doing all it can, oh no. Gays (and sometimes straights) still can't marry, you can legally be fired for transitioning, policemen rape transwomen, the EMS stop giving medical care and start laughing when they realize a woman has a penis, the list goes on and on and on.

Adrian

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Guest Zenda

Kia Ora Blackkaten,

Research was carried both in the UK and the US a while ago into the psyche of racially prejudice people…What I found most interesting reading the research[it was an old psychology book I found in a secondhand shop] was when the US government passed the anti discrimination law back in the early 1960’ [related to the civil rights movement] prejudice was a ‘common’ practice with most white Americans-not only in the deep south…

Anyway what happened was people when faced with ‘having’ to allow an African American into their motels, hotels, shops etc, started to question their deep held prejudices about black people, after time this prejudice soften a little turning into ‘tolerance’ after more time had past this tolerance turned into acceptance for many… Sadly there’s always exceptions to the rule-hard core KKK minded people are somewhat ‘mentally challenged’ lacking key ingredients -empathy compassion and acceptance that makes one ‘human/humane…Even passing this law the government knew with the likes of the KKK minded people…One can’t argue with a sick mind- one just had to wait it out and hope for the best!!!

Well what the psychologists found was: If ‘normal’ people[people whose prejudices are borderline-most people fit into this catagory] are faced with a new law that they dislike and for some reason can’t change …their ‘attitude’ changes somewhat [they adapt their way of thinking] and start to ‘conform’ to what is the ‘norm’…We humans like our cousin the rat[very adaptable mammals] are creatures of habit-we like conformity and will if necessary adapt our way of thinking to accommodate our circumstance …adapting to the situation we find ourselves in…It won’t happen over night but it will happen!!!

Just an after-thought…Remember Blackkaten…‘trans-phobia‘ comes in all shapes forms and sizes and is not just felt by cisgender people…many closeted trans-people don’t realize they are suffering from IT too… They constantly seek out ways to mask what they feel inside[including finding agreement with those who candy-coat their hate speech somewhat to make it sound that they are ‘good’ compassionate, understanding people-‘love the sinner but not the sin’ type of people ] all the while the IT trans-person is hoping that one day these feelings will go away-sadly for most this is not the case the feelings just get stronger and stronger…Many trans-people especially growing up in religious and or macho communities are prone to bouts of internalised trans-phobia![Remember what I said about our desire to ‘conform’ to/with the norm!]

The moral of this somewhat drawn out tale…Any laws passed in favour of trans-people will if given time, change the attitude of ‘most’ but sadly not all [Remember you can’t argue with a ‘sick’ mind…I think a quote from Joe Walsh] …Umm, ‘Social engineering’ if done right is not such a bad thing after all….

Metta Jendar

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Guest Leah1026
Everybody on here has good points. As for hate crime bill, I don't think they should be passed. When reading that sentence, it sounds evil, but think about it. The person still gets punished under current law for the crime they have committed. All that is being punished is the thought behind it, and people have the right to think what they want. So basically hate crime bills create the concept of thought crime.

I don't agree. The Shepard Hate Crimes Bill would be a de facto recognition from the government that we exist. That is a great improvement from the where we are now, as described by Laura, where they don't even track statistics for us. I also don't agree becuase it will also send a message to other bigots out there that there is a price to pay for turning hateful thoughts into action. I'm not saying this will fix everything, all I'm saying is this is the next step, to have them formerly acknowledge our existence.

We are making progress, but we still have a long, long ways to go. For example I transitioned on the job 2.5 years ago, something that would have been unthinkable just 10 years ago.

What can you do? I do lots of on-line advocacy work, countering all the BS from the bigots out there. I have also testified in my statehouse against insurance exclusions. Not to mention the hundreds of my co-workers who are getting an education, whether they like it or not, in my place of work.

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I don't agree that the bill should be passed. I don't think they should even have punishment for "hate crimes". The real crime is the crime that was committed. In shepard's case it was robbery and murder. So the punishment should be for robbery and murder. The government shouldn't need to go into whether or not he was gay. I think that's unnecessary. It shouldn't be illegal to have your own thoughts. So it should be perfectly legal to dislike gays. But if you use those thoughts to create an action, you should be punished for that action.

As for discrimination, similarly, if a person doesn't like gays, he has the right to not like gays. Or transsexuals. Or anyone. And if he has a good reason for why a gay/trans/anyone shouldn't work for him, then I think it's fine for him to not allow those people to work for him. There needs to be a reason behind. More than just I don't like you.

I'm not trying to say discrimination is right. I'm just think that the actual crimes should be considered illegal, not the thoughts behind them.

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Guest Leah1026

Blackie,

I don't think you understand the nature of these crimes. They are senseless, brutal killings. Matthew Shepard was dragged behind a pick-up truck into the country and tied to some fence posts and left to die. And why? Because he was gay.

The Gwen Araujo case was particularly heinous. These guys suspected Gwen was anatomically male and sent another girl into the bathroom to find out. She told them what she saw. They proceeded to torture Gwen for several hours before killing her. Then they drove her body a couple hours away and buried her in the Sierra Neveda. It was an open and shut case right? Wrong. The first trial they used the "gay panic defense" (since made illegal) and the jury couldn't reach a verdict. While awaiting retrial one guy ratted on the other two and yet one guy, the probable killer, got off again. The other two were convicted, but NOT for murder! They got manslaughter. Manslaughter for premeditated murder! And the story gets better, the jury said it wasn't a hate crime! Oh my goodness? How was that NOT a hate crime? The law in California has been changed to hopefully prevent any future miscarriages of justice.

My point is many crimes in which we are the victims aren't normal crimes. They tend to be a lot more brutal. I heard of a case in Alabama where the girl was beat to death, her body dismembered and later burned. Does that sound like a normal murder to you? Hate crimes legislation will give us recognition as human beings, because frankly we are NOT being treated as such now. The message the public gets from the government, media and local law enforcement is that we are expendable. The Shepard Hate Crimes bill would allow the family, or other concerned parties, to call in the Feds to investigate a crime that may be getting swept under the rug by local law enforcement. We are being denied our basic civil rights and something must be done. It would be nice if Hate Crimes legiislation wasn't needed, but it clearly is.

And don't even get me started on how we are treated in jail by the system when we get convicted......

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Guest elenag

Re: blackkatsen

In a perfect world, I would agree with you; however, that's not our world. I think there are two issues with hate crimes. The first revolving around speech. For example: if you are a black man or woman and awoke to find a burning cross in your front yard, what is the crime at it's core? It's littering, arson, and trespass. Assuming the perpetrator is found and convicted, what's the worst punishment they will get? Probably a couple weeks in jail (at the worst) but does that relate to the anguish your family experienced? No, because the statement of that burning cross is "We hate you. We're watching you, and when you least expect it we're going to kill you." Imagine wondering every day whether your house will be burned down with you and your family in it? You won't feel safe until you sell your house, move, and find another job, which can be an extreme burden for many people. So with that in mind, a hate crime bill adds an additional crime to that list (littering, arson, trespass, and hate crime) effectively promoting it to a higher class of severity resulting in a greater penalty, which is more in line with the actual suffering it caused.

The second issue deals with hate crimes involving beating, torture, or murder, which already have well established codes and punishments scaled to fit the severity of those crimes. Normally established laws should be effective enough with handling those cases but it's not. In every one of those cases involving an LGBT victim, the perpetrator can merely say "He or she made a pass at me and I panicked". The panic defense. Regardless of the circumstances, the persons involved, or the ridiculousness of the claim, the defendant can always make that case and when presented to a jury, it will always be a he said/she said case, so most of the time those offenders walk with either no sentence or an extremely reduced sentence. All because of that panic defense. In this situation, a hate crime bill would patch that loophole and force the courts to add additional sentencing to that offender, no matter what he claimed. Panic or not.

Lastly, there is another matter. We know a hate crimes bill would elevate the severity of a crime based on the fact race, orientation, or gender identity were motives and that some people object to a hate crime bill because it's unfair to consider one murder more important than another murder. My response to that is we have already done so. We have legal code that classifies levels of murder (or killing) and associates with those different punishments. Most states distinguish between murder 1 and murder 2, and I know at least one state recognizes murder 3. And then throw on top of those mitigating circumstances and manslaughter distinctions. All of these are charges of murder or killing, but feature different levels of punishment. A hate crime bill merely adds another level of distinction. No different than current procedures, in my opinion.

For those reasons, I support a hate crimes bill because it patches a broken legal system. Of course, I'm certainly not a lawyer or knowledgeable about law, but that pretty sums up my opinion.

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  • Root Admin

Any crime commited with malice aforethought toward any individual because of their lifestyle, beliefs, sexual identity or whatever, is a crime no matter how you look at it. These crimes are happening because of what they are, not in spite of what they are. So yes, we need laws to protect us from these slime testicles. I'm a firm believer in the death penalty BTW

MaryEllen :angry:

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Guest Rev. Michal

It's the difference between committing a crime because of who/] the victim is, and what the victim is. If someone hates you for who you are, that's just because they don't like you. If they hate you for what you are, it's definitely persecution. Things under the heading of "persecution" include but are not limited to, hate crimes, genocide, prejudice and discrimination.

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I'm a firm believer in the death penalty BTW

MaryEllen :angry:

i've got to agree with you here, MaryEllen, some people just don't respect the value of human life...so they should pay the price...sounds harsh, but they had it coming.

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Guest dolly
I don't agree. The Shepard Hate Crimes Bill would be a de facto recognition from the government that we exist. That is a great improvement from the where we are now, as described by Laura, where they don't even track statistics for us. I also don't agree becuase it will also send a message to other bigots out there that there is a price to pay for turning hateful thoughts into action. I'm not saying this will fix everything, all I'm saying is this is the next step, to have them formerly acknowledge our existence.

We are making progress, but we still have a long, long ways to go. For example I transitioned on the job 2.5 years ago, something that would have been unthinkable just 10 years ago.

What can you do? I do lots of on-line advocacy work, countering all the BS from the bigots out there. I have also testified in my statehouse against insurance exclusions. Not to mention the hundreds of my co-workers who are getting an education, whether they like it or not, in my place of work.

thank you! thats the bill i was talking about! i couldnt remember the name of it but the democratic side of the senate slapped it on as pork to another bill that they knew wasnt gonna pass a few months back. i just couldnt remember the nam. i have terrible short term memory. and the whole reason transgenders should be protected under a hate crimes bill is because yes, it is a crime when someone does something to another person no matter what they are or who they sleep with or who they pray to but there are certain groups of people that the mass society dont feel as bad towards it happening to. we're stigmatised with the orrible horrble stereotypes that they put tansgenders and gays and lesbians into every day. im prety certain to wager tht over 75% of the american public in general still sees us all as "choosing" to be what we are and no mtter how much science or medical facs you throw intheir face theyre not gonna care or listen. theyre on autopilot.

its like that scene in the movie the jackal, te gay and lesbian actors group thingy was big time up in arms about the scene where bruce willis just shoots the gay guy he was mooching off of cus over half the audience applauded with enthusiasm so they had to work in the news footage into the scene

anyways the reason we should be protected under a hate crimes bill isnt so much so that someone who commits a crime against us serves a harsher sentence, its so that society will finally get it into their thick skulls thats its not okay to do it. its not okay to fire us cus we dont fit a mold or kick us out of our houses for the same reason. its not that we want to be treated special, we just dont wanna end up beng on the backpage of a newspaper where nobody cares if a little 18 year old florida mtf was shot to death by her father who just got out of prison and found out.

we dont wanna be dfferent, we wanna be the same and right now, we're not to societies eyes and maybe making society turn around and take a look at whats going on and really showng them whats happening will change that.

i hope that made sense. sorry for rambling

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Guest Mr. Fox
Re: blackkatsen

In a perfect world, I would agree with you; however, that's not our world. I think there are two issues with hate crimes. The first revolving around speech. For example: if you are a black man or woman and awoke to find a burning cross in your front yard, what is the crime at it's core? It's littering, arson, and trespass. Assuming the perpetrator is found and convicted, what's the worst punishment they will get? Probably a couple weeks in jail (at the worst) but does that relate to the anguish your family experienced? No, because the statement of that burning cross is "We hate you. We're watching you, and when you least expect it we're going to kill you." Imagine wondering every day whether your house will be burned down with you and your family in it? You won't feel safe until you sell your house, move, and find another job, which can be an extreme burden for many people. So with that in mind, a hate crime bill adds an additional crime to that list (littering, arson, trespass, and hate crime) effectively promoting it to a higher class of severity resulting in a greater penalty, which is more in line with the actual suffering it caused.

Very good point!

Adrian

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I just think that adding hate crime as an actual crime is redundant. Every crime is caused by some sort of dislike or hatred. If you murder someone because he's gay or for some other random reason, you don't like him and don't respect him at all. So being punished for murder should just be enough. Now if the crime is brutal, such as in shepard's case, the punishment should be first degree murder. That's what it is. the definition of 1 deg murder fits it perfectly. so maybe what we need is a better standard on how to charge criminals.

these hate crime laws are special laws for lgbt people. its just an extra punishment. you beat a gay guy, you get charged for beating and hate crime. you beat someone else, you get charged with just beating. getting charged with beating is good enough in both cases.

if you want more support and acceptance for lgbt communities I don't think increasing the penalties by these laws is the right way to do it. it just makes you look like a target. i think what lgbts need to do is really (I mean REALLY) show they're the same/equal as everyone else. Blacks did it, but lgbts haven't.

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you beat a gay guy, you get charged for beating and hate crime. you beat someone else, you get charged with just beating. getting charged with beating is good enough in both cases.

if you beat the guy up just because he was gay then it's a hate crime, there's no logical reason for having done it except out of hate. however, if you beat a gay guy up for some other random reason (eg. he stole something of yours or said something offensive to you) then it's just a beating, there was a motive that would hold up in a court of law (somewhat)...just my opinion

Drew

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Guest Zenda

Kia Ora Blackkatsen,

I don’t know you personally but you come across as somewhat naïve, possibly influenced by ‘right wing’ thinking, especially when it come to LGBT issues [please correct me if I’m wrong], but I take it the environment/community in which you live is predominantly ‘anti’ LGBT rights…

Hate crimes are being committed each day[people being beaten up or killed just because they don’t conform to what others perceives as the norm] most of these hate crimes are going unpunished or perpetrators of such crimes are pleading guilty to lesser charges …When it comes to the Hate crimes bill, I guess some people[even some trans-people] just can’t see the forest for the trees!…Sadly it seems, some never will…

At this present stage in your life you have the luxury of living in a ‘trans-identity concealed comfort zone’ ie, not having to face main stream society’s gauntlet of ridicule, verbal and or abuse…

They say that ‘practical experience is one of life’s best educational tools’… I’ll tell you what…why not put on a dress, make-up and high heels and go to school or walk down the main street of where you live in broad daylight-most importantly just go about doing what you normally do ie, don’t intentionally provoke anyone …then tell me if you think such a bill is unwarranted !!!

Such a bill being passed or not, is not relevant to my personal situations ie, I comfortably blend into main stream society and have not experience hate crimes or hate speech directed at my person plus I live in Aotearoa[NZ]...But I'm fully aware of the suffering of other trans-people at the hands of ignorant people...You Blackkatsen at this present moment in time are in a similar situations to myself ie, able to walk down the street unmolested [both physically and verbally]...but your situation might change for the worse should you openly be yourself in public...Think about it....

Metta Jendar

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      "A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the fool's back.  Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him."    Proverbs 26:4-5.....  possibly the first advice about spending time online  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not of people usually, but places have a "color sense" to me.  Not exactly visual, but like a feeling.  Almost a taste or sometimes tactile.    My home, and the temple of my faith community both have a strong feeling of "silver."  A tasteable, nearly tactile radiance...it means safety, and I seek it out.  It kind of transfers to people associated with those places, like my husband.  I knew he was good the moment I met him.  Some places have a color sense like fire, a combination of red and orange.  As you might expect, it is an exciting or dangerous feeling.  Attractive in a way.  Part of me is drawn toward it, another part of me is skittish of it.  Other places have a blue/green color sense, which can be iridescent toward purple-ish.  Its peaceful and calm.    What I really don't like is a sickly, greenish-gray color.  I can't even describe it fully.  The sense is slimy, slick, cold and revolting.  To me, it is a feeling of intense danger about a place or a person.  I'm usually more oblivious to the other color senses, but this one grabs my attention.  To me, it is associated with pure evil.    One of my strongest impressions of the evil color it happened at a natural spring in a state park near where I live.  I was walking around with a friend and I felt it, and she thought I was totally crazy.  I wanted to leave so bad, just terrified.  Thankfully she followed me out.  I only found out later that a murderer had escaped from prison and was recaptured there...he had been living near the spring, and we were maybe within 200 yards of him.  My color sense probably saved our lives.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not exactly.  Me alone - I'm helpless and can hardly do anything.  But with my partners I'm protected and supported, and a lot more things are possible for me.    My husband teaches a lesson to his kids when they fight, I've seen him do this a couple of times.  He'll hand them a bundle of sticks tied together, and tell the kids to try to break it.  Of course, it doesn't work.  Then he takes the bundle apart, and tells them to break the sticks one by one.  One person alone is easily overwhelmed or broken.  Two or more people together can stand firm against adversity. 
    • Ashley0616
      That's what my Hylander's name is too.  
    • Mmindy
    • Mmindy
    • MaeBe
      When I joined it was purely a play on Maybe. Mae happens to have a couple letters in common with my given name and I started using it when introducing myself to strangers. Since then, actually yesterday, when I caught up with an old friend and told her about my transition she thought she heard "Maeve" when I said "Mae". I could still use Mae as a nickname, it works well with my mother's name as a middle name (she died in 2019 and I love the idea of connecting with her memory more), and my initials wouldn't change if I change my name. So, Maeve it will likely be unless something better comes along. ;)
    • MaeBe
      I've not had a lot of involuntary action in that department and I'm 6mo in. After 3mo. my T was under 30. My doc wanted labs mid-cycle (3-4 days after my shot) oddly, but I am going to insist on getting trough numbers to determine if T is pushing back when serum E is low. I almost felt like I was going to have MW yesterday morning when I woke up (day of my shot), so I get where your thoughts are on the subject. It would be good to know how long that suppression lasts, not that T&E levels are complete indicators--my doctor doesn't seem to have any plans to check for the broader spectrum of metrics I see a lot on forums like SHBG, etc.
    • Willow
      Take two   blood letting is complete it took two of them pesky little mosquitoes.   our dog came to us mostly potty trained. She had a few “I can’t wait” moments but for the most part she was good.  She learned to ask th be let out. We had a bell on the door and taught her to ring the bell.  Then she learned how to open the door herself.  As long as it wasn’t locked out she’d go.  We had her trained to a hidden fence and collar she would go to the limit and sit and wait for us to tell her it was ok. She has always responded to verbal commands or my whistles.   Oh and there are obvious negatives about a dog knowing how to open doors.  She would disappear and we’d suddenly see her out the window.  Or we’ would let her out and suddenly realize she was sitting with us.  She never learned to close the doors, only open then.    
    • BobbiSkunk
      Thank you everyone.  I'm grateful for the warm welcome.  ^.^
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