Just Came Out To A Message Board

[Guest KimberlyF]

OMG I just did it and didn't care. I've known some of these people for like 5 years and have talked to a few on the phone and was planning on meeting the one on vacation next year. I had come out to a few of the people privately. That was like a whole day process where I primed them with a bunch of emails prior to the reveal. This time I just started a thread and laid it all out. I don't have a single negative response and like 10 women who support me 100%. And the one just wanted to make sure we were still meeting next year on vaca.

Kim

[JJ]

So cool! That is one of the scariest things we ever do-coming out to friends.

I am glad it turned out so well for you.

JohnJ

[Paula ult]

Congrats Kim,

We always worry about coming out and when it goes good it is such a huge relief, i assume you are going to meet the person next year.

HUGS!

Paula

[Guest KimberlyF]

Congrats Kim,

We always worry about coming out and when it goes good it is such a huge relief, i assume you are going to meet the person next year.

HUGS!

Paula

Well, I kinda told her my life is in flux right now. I'd love to meet her, but I don't even know if I'm taking a vacation next year.

Kim

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Kim...that's awesome news....

I was just wondering what kind of message board it was?

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest KimberlyF]

.

Kim...that's awesome news....

I was just wondering what kind of message board it was?

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

I'd rather not say lol. It's complicated but there's like 50 girls and maybe 4 guys I think. And I've known some of them for like 5 years. It's a spinoff of a huge board where people who kinda liked each other and finished each other's post went to get away from this main board because we'd be called a clique and the mods of the big board kept getting upset with us. Like it's our fault we always responded to other posters we knew and liked? It's human nature if you see the name of someone you like you click on a thread they started first.

Anyway if you're following up to here you should prob get a gold star cause I really feel rambly right now.

Anyway we split off and then every few months it seemed like a few girls would go at each other, sides would be picked and we'd start a new board.

Well my issue now is I know there are a couple of people who didn't follow my group at a split who just don't like me. I know, I'm shocked too! Well the one in particular is nutso and would track down peoples home addresses and harass people at work. I don't want this post showing up on anyones search. As it was coming out on that board like I did was kind of a huge risk. But I'm almost at the point where I don't care who knows...after I tell my parents.

Kim

[JJ]

Kim,

If I read your post correctly and you have come out on a public board where it is possible someone could call or visit your home without telling your parents then I think you should tell your parents NOW.

If your parents find out from someone else it can create enormous problems in your relationship to them because in addition to their reaction to your trans issues they will probably feel betrayed and humiliated that others knew first and told them instead of you.

As hard as it might be to tell them it really is time. Once you post a secret on a public board-especially one where your personal information is known-it isn't a secret anymore

JJ

[Guest Sotha]

JJ makes a really good point.

But you know, I am really considering just coming out to all of my friends and acquaintances who don't know yet over Facebook, because I'm just getting tired of them not knowing, and me not finding the time to tell them individually, and I'm not the kind of person to write an official letter or anything like that. I mean, even when I do tell people, I don't try to prime them or anything; I just say, "Hey, um, I'm actually a girl. I'm transgendered, and so on." And they have all been fine with it. If the majority of my friends are supportive (or will be), then I think I should be able to deal with the few negative responses I'll get (which I would just get anyway, when they found out about me as they would eventually, so whatever).

But if you think there is a chance that your parents might find out from this, you should really consider what JJ said.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Kim,

If I read your post correctly and you have come out on a public board where it is possible someone could call or visit your home without telling your parents then I think you should tell your parents NOW.

If your parents find out from someone else it can create enormous problems in your relationship to them because in addition to their reaction to your trans issues they will probably feel betrayed and humiliated that others knew first and told them instead of you.

As hard as it might be to tell them it really is time. Once you post a secret on a public board-especially one where your personal information is known-it isn't a secret anymore

JJ

I just saw this cause I had a busy week. Thanks for worrying about me, but I'm very cautious about the net. It's a public board, but where I came out you need to be approved by a mod to read. The goggle bots and other search software can't even get in. And all of the mods were among the most vocal who supported me and they wouldn't just let someone off the street get in there. Plus I am very careful about trying to post personal info on the net. Anyone who knows my name/address on the board got it from an email. Now someone could do a cut and paste job of all the stuff there, but even then with people who know my last name, it's very common and wouldn't be linked to my parents house. I've searched myself on all the search sites and some of the stuff is accurate, but there are also addresses I've never lived at. My parents are going to be told sooner rather than later. My therapist said she'd be shocked if it goes that many more months the way I've been talking...and I actually came here to look for stuff to put in a letter when I saw this so she's prob right.

Kim