Heeelp

[Guest okayokay]

okay, before i get at the main subject of this topic, heres some background information:

my mom is super nosey and thinks she knows everything. two years ago, i saw a gender therapist on my own, meaning no one in my family knew of it. so my therapist gave me a little card or whatever (with her contact information and stuff on it) and i stoved it away in my drawer. well, one day, i went in my drawer and saw all my things moved around and i knew what had happened. so my mom called me over and was like "why are you seeing a doctor? if youre gay, just tell me. i already know." haha, uhhh nooooo. so i erupted because A.) i deserve privacy. and B.) dont force things out of people. if i wanted you to know, i would tell you. oh, and C.) dont assume, thanks.

so two years pass by. i dont see my therapist anymore (money burns a hole in my pocket, haha) but ive continued to pursue my transitioning. i buy many female things and stash them away where i dont think my mom would look. but my mom still somewhat knows what i spend my money on and then she just HAS to ask "why did you buy this and that?" like im near twenty years old...just stop. but ill say like "oh i bought them for a friend" or whatever and shes like "are you sure that was the reason you bought them..." and that just makes me more mad because she thinks she knows everything.

but anyways. weve been getting closer lately. i dont think i can play the double life much longer...but im still hesitant. should i just sit her down and tell her? shes always telling me "you are who you are. and ill still love you" but i just dont like the know-it-all vibe she gives me. its annoying. but whats more annoying is...like pushing this whole transsexual thing in the corner to hide.

so what would YOU do? i know some of you will say "do whatever feels right to you" but i want to know if you were in this situation, what would you do? how would you do it? i just want to hear a few options before i do anything. thank youuu.

[Guest jrm]

i would sit down and tell her everything

and then wait for the mind explosion

those are always fun to watch lol

[Guest KimberlyF]

Tell her. It sounds like she might already kinda know and there will never be a time when your parent isn't nosy and act like they know what's best for you.

Kim

[JenniferB]

You are almost 20 years old, so if you could move out it wouldn't matter what your mother thought. I would work on a back-up plan and save money or work a job that can pay the bills if you live on your own. Then I would tell your mother. If she accepts that you are trans, then that leaves more options open. If she doesn't then you can move out and still continue the transitioning. Even if your mother doesn't accept you at first, it sounds like in time she will.

You need to live for yourself and should set your goals around that. That's just my opinion though.

Good Luck, coming out is never easy.

Love Jenny

[Carolyn Marie]

Yup, its unanimous. Go ahead and tell her, hon. It does seem like she either knows or using SWAG.

Be sure and plan it, and expect a variety of reactions. Just don't be too alarmed if her first reaction is negative. Her first

instinct is to protect you, even from yourself. Give her time and space for it to sink in.

Good luck, and come back if you have more questions.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi honey

I can understand why you are mad but you should really be thankful. Your mother sounds like she is poking around cause she cares, it also sounds like she is a very accepting person.

I'm almost certain that she has put 2 and 2 together and probably did a little research on us already, that's what parents do when they care. So I would gather as much information as you thing you will need to explain and set her down for a nice chat. Just don't go into the conversation with exact times and dates on how fast you would like to proceed, I'm sure that when her theories are confirmed that she will need some time to process the info. Plus parents also like to know that they have done everything in their power to make sure that this is the correct path for you.

So be prepared for a bunch of questions , cause that's what parents do.

LUV

Jean

[Guest chngnwnd]

Hon,

It really sounds like she at least suspects who you really are. I don't see you having anything to gain by keeping the truth from her. She might even snoop less if you tell her - go for it.

hugs

Bobbi