Is Wanting Enough?

[Guest LookingForHelp]

There is probably already a thread concerning this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Personally, I don't feel as if I AM a girl. I do, however, WANT to be one. Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself (I haven't even dressed up like a girl yet). It's just, having considered it long and hard, the idea of dressing and living as a woman is becoming more and more appealing. So, my question is;

Is WANTING to be a girl (appearance-wise and whatnot) enough of a reason to BECOME one? Or is BECOMING one only advisable if you KNOW you are one? Does that make sense?

Note: I am just curious. Obviously, I don't plan on making a drastic decisions (as if I could). I have yet to talk to a gender therapist and all of my thoughts and feelings are sort of confused at the moment. I'm just trying to open myself up to the possibility that I am transgender.

Also of note, I don't hate my male body, but imagining it differently (as a woman's) seems to be becoming more and more pleasing.

[Guest Sharah]

Hi LookingForHelp,

Do you have a name that you would prefer to be addressed by?

Confusion is not unique at all. Figuring out who we are is the beginning of the process of coming to terms with our identity. I wouldn't agonize over the confusion but use your therapist to help you work through the questions. Only YOU have the true answers, but often arriving at those answers can be a difficult process. There ae many points along the continuum of gender identity, it is not binary like society would like us to believe but is a continuum wiht two opposite ends and a spectrum of steps along the way between. You may find yourself anywhere along the spectrum. Once you find where you fit you will be comfortable there. It is the job of your therapist to help you to find your place on the spectrum.

Just always know that whereever you find yourself all of us here at Laura's will love you and care for and about you. You will always be welcome and valued here.

[Guest sarah f]

It is ok to questions yourself and your feelings. I think what you need is to find a good GT and talk to them about how you feel. They can get to the root of it all and help you decide what it is you want and need to be happy. I love mine and she has helped me so much on my issues.

As far as if you are trans or not. I can't say one way or the other. You are questioning yourself and that is a sign but does not mean you are.

Keep posting and asking questions and we will try to help the best we can.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Honey...there is a differenc between BEING a girl in your mind and heart and wanting to LOOK like a girl...

A trained Gender Therapist can help you sort this all out...

You really don't want to make a mistake at this point in time...

A lot of the HRT effects aren't easily reversable!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

[JJ]

There is no one way or other. No one path or other. As we are each individual our experiences will vary so we can't answer your question except to relate our own experiences.

The advise you've already been given is absolutely the best-find a gender therapist-even if it needs to be online. They can't give you the answers but they can give you the guidance you need to find your own answers.

Hugs

JohnJ

[Guest Fatefighter]

Here is a story from my personal story, and let me state that this might not be the case for you: I started out with those same feelings as a 11 year old, and over the last 6 years they have solidified. I KNOW I am a girl, a woman. I just had to come to terms with it myself. Tell us how the GT works out! Best of luck!

-Sasha

[Guest Orva26]

Is WANTING to be a girl (appearance-wise and whatnot) enough of a reason to BECOME one? Or is BECOMING one only advisable if you KNOW you are one? Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense! Actual where I am too. And to answer the question, yes, yes it is. I'm no expert on literature and research but from what I have found out is it seems there are two groups of transsexuals a group that can be described as girls stuck in boy bodies and another described as boys who want to be girls. The first group is the one that more is known about and the standards of care where originally drafted with them in mind, but recently the second group is becoming accepted. A lot of professionals will probably be doubly careful treating boys who want to be girls because there is less known about them. There's actually a paper that was posted here about boys who want to be girls, which I think is pretty good: http://www.annelawrence.com/twr/becoming_what_we_love.pdf

That said, the only real way to know if you should pursue a transition is to sort it all out with the help of an experienced therapist. That's what I'm planning on doing.

Whatever you do and wherever it takes you I wish you luck and happiness.