What Is The Best Thing To Do If You Are Outed?

[Guest Lauren S]

Well, I briefly trusted someone, which is VERY out of character for me, and now I'm scared that my life is about to come unhinged. It happens to be a guy that likes me, and although I tried so hard to like him back, or at least pretend to, to keep him quiet, I just can't keep up that charade. It makes me want to vomit. It's becoming evident that I do not reciprocate his feelings and I fear the worst: Him outing me.

Before I get some big long speech about how stupid it was to go and run my mouth, believe me, I know! I knew the second I did it, but I can't change the past. Now I'm basically in a "brace for impact" mindset. I've thought of several courses of action.

I could beg on my knees, I could try hard to be with this person to appease them, I could let it happen and just transfer schools, or I could do it my way. My way is to never beg anyone. I'm not a vain woman, but I do have a certain amount of dignity and I will not throw myself at the mercy of some pathetic piece of two-faced trash. I suppose he'll do what he wants and I'll just have to keep my head held high, keep smiling, and act like I'm invincible.. I'm quite a popular person now and I don't want to lose that but it's my own fault.

Has anyone on here ever dealt with being outed? Maybe a high-schooler although any advice is welcome.

I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I know that.

Despite my sour mood, I love you all,

Laurie

[Guest jrm]

would people be more likely to believe you or him

if they would most likely believe you then just shrug it off don't let people see it bothers you and most likely no one will believe him

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

The thing with High school, is that people thrown around insults like ''queero'' or ''crossdresser'' all the time, people will judge if you are or not in your reaction, if you just shrug it off like he's being immature people will think its just another cheap insult.

Sad but true.

[JJ]

I think your way sounds best. Given the circumstances I'd ignore it. If people don't get a reaction they'll likely drop it faster. If approached directly you can always say the truth-that he is saying things about you out of spite.

Unless there was a witness there is no proof. And sadly people are all too used to rumors spread by disgruntled rejected guys.

Take a deep breath and don't worry too much. It may never happen-and if it does you have a plan in place

JohnJ

[Guest audrey michelle]

high school is immature and lame. just do it your way. you wont have to be at someone's mercy and if you just ignore it and do you then the rumors (if they happen) or whatever will die off and then there will be something new going around about someone else

[Guest ErikW]

I agree with Maria that they will make the judgment based on your reaction, especially your facial expression. High school is a very judgmental place especially with everything happening in life being put up on Facebook and Twitter. You just need to blow it off and let the rumor mill continue on to another person. I would not beg the person to not tell. You should not have to lower yourself for anybody :-)

[Guest Sharah]

Laurie,

I agree with what the others have said to you. Also keep in mind that begging him not to tell is like saying, "Hey here is a really big way you can hurt me if you want to." It just may give him and idea he doesn't already have.

[Guest Leo the First]

My brother outed me to a friend I wasn't planning on telling, ever. (He's just incredibly homophobic and transphobic, it's ridiculous.)

And as much as I want the truth to be out there, brushing it off just keeps it off till you're ready. This sort of thing happens all the time in high school, since we're all just ... raging hormones. xD Nah, joking. But yeah.

Just ignore it, pretend it's not a big deal. If you're not ready, don't force yourself.

[Guest sarah f]

I agree to just ignore him and don't let it show that it bothers you. Deny deny deny if it does come out. It is your word against his. Don't let him force you to come out before you are ready. Take your time and do this on your own terms not his.