Update

[Guest Roxanna L]

Hi, all!

Went to the therapist, again, for my second session. And it was... interesting, to say the least.

Before I get started: She knows of this website, and only because I told her. I also remember her being pleasantly amused, as it uses her first name... Yes, her name is 'Laura', too.

Anyway, I decided to not yet tell her what I told you (my 'revelation'), as I felt it could be an undue influence on our discussions. On the train to Amsterdam, I decided to update my notes, on what I've been thinking, feeling, etcetera... The train trip was boring, so it helped pass the time...

The first half hour I was so wired, I frequently found myself at a loss for words...

At one point, I decided to tell her about my AGP, and the fear I have of being considered insane...

She was surprised something like that existed, as she never heard of it, before. So I told her about who came up with the theory, what it said, and how it is viewed from within the scientific community. (Truthfully, of course.)

While the things we discussed did reintroduce the little voice o' doubt, I remain reasonably certain I'm still on the right track. And I'll tell you why:

She told how it is wrong to divide things between 'right' and 'wrong', from the start, as it makes disseminating new things that much more difficult. She's right, and that's exactly what I've been doing for years, now...

At the end, she gave me this sorely needed morale boost: She doesn't believe that something like AGP matters. "Everything you discover about yourself, is good." and "We'll find out, together."

But it seems my engine is running out of "luck-oline"... Not only do I have to wait six weeks for the next session, because they're moving to a new location; but I had to walk back to the train station, because a broken down tram fouled up the tracks...

I compiled some notes about the session, on the train back home. I thought it was best to write things down, while it was still fresh. And it staves off the boredom...

Anna

[Guest Roxanna L]

Really? Twelve reads, and no one bothers to say anything?

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Anna,

<<< hug >>>

Sounds like you are well on your way

Thanks for sharing all of that

vanna

[JJ]

Anna

This is a time when many of us just have a moment to drop in and read but not as much time as usual to reply. Plus many more people will be interested in and follow your story than ever reply.

It sounds like you are off to a very good start with your therapist. It also sounds as though, like myself and many others here, you just might tend to overthink things. This whole gender maze is so confusing it can quickly tie you in knots but it sounds like your therapist will be good at getting to the heart of things.

It's a shame that there is such a long wait to see your therapist again. But we are here for you and at least you now know what to expect.

Happy Holidays

John

[Paula ult]

Roxanna, it sounds like you have a good therapist, she is absolutely right about dividing things into right and wrong because what you feel is wrong today may feel right tomorrow, i discovered lots about myself, my therapist got me thinking about when i was young and little by little certain memories about needing to be a girl surfaced, mostly while i was asleep, i would wake up and remember those times like they happened yesterday.

Paula

[Guest Roxanna L]

Anna

This is a time when many of us just have a moment to drop in and read but not as much time as usual to reply. Plus many more people will be interested in and follow your story than ever reply.

It sounds like you are off to a very good start with your therapist. It also sounds as though, like myself and many others here, you just might tend to overthink things. This whole gender maze is so confusing it can quickly tie you in knots but it sounds like your therapist will be good at getting to the heart of things.

It's a shame that there is such a long wait to see your therapist again. But we are here for you and at least you now know what to expect.

Happy Holidays

John

stupid, stupid, stupiiiid...

I completely forgot what time of the year it is. And here I am, getting all worked up, feeling like I'm being ignored... Guess it just goes to show how used I am to people replying quickly... And I never go out to family at christmas, I'm just not used to it...

The 'overthinking' sounds about right. I'm definitely not stupid. I've got a high IQ, even though I don't know how high it is... I've always prided myself on my intellect, to solve mental puzzles without much trouble... That I'm having trouble solving this one, makes it very distressing...

Guess I'll drop in at Chat, when the mood strikes me. At least I have a nice pen pall, over there.

Roxanna, it sounds like you have a good therapist, she is absolutely right about dividing things into right and wrong because what you feel is wrong today may feel right tomorrow, i discovered lots about myself, my therapist got me thinking about when i was young and little by little certain memories about needing to be a girl surfaced, mostly while i was asleep, i would wake up and remember those times like they happened yesterday.

Paula

Yeah, she's good, alright... Therapists have to be able to ask really probing questions, but also able to do so with tact. This she does (seemingly) without effort. And the fact she's trans provides her with a nice frame of reference...

My memories have been a bit different, in the sense that most come back during the day...

Anna

[Guest Penelope]

Hi Anna,

It is not that I am uninterested in what you have to say. It takes me time to think about what you or others write in the forums and reply with something relevant and (possibly) helpful. Frequently, someone has already posted a reply that makes anything I might say superfluous.

From the little I know about therapists the best ones guide you in a systematic audit of yourself. There can be no timetable for this. As people here keep saying 'your mileage may vary'. You are examining the very core of who you are and what you want to do with your life.

Keep posting. Not all newspaper readers write letters to the editor.

Best wishes for the rest of today and a happy New Year.

Penny

[Guest Orva26]

At the end, she gave me this sorely needed morale boost: She doesn't believe that something like AGP matters. "Everything you discover about yourself, is good." and "We'll find out, together."

Wow, this is the second time I feel like I should send some money to a therapist because of their unintentional help.

There is truth in it! I have made so many discoveries about myself in the past 5 months and although some of them have been downright distressing and even terrifying they have all helped me grow as an individual in there own way.

The 'overthinking' sounds about right. I'm definitely not stupid. I've got a high IQ, even though I don't know how high it is... I've always prided myself on my intellect, to solve mental puzzles without much trouble... That I'm having trouble solving this one, makes it very distressing...

Jeeze, are we the same person or something?

Seriously though I am the same in this manner. Was probably the reason I fell into some false positives because I thought I had figured it out. Truth of the matter is this isn't soley a mind game if it was I would've really been done with it months ago. Rather it is a combination of a mind and emotion game and thus my intellect is inadequate to solve it completely. It is a powerful tool to help me solve but by itself it cannot... like wielding a hammer without having any nails. Therapy will give me the nails then I get to hammer them in with my brain hammer!