Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Update


Guest Roxanna L

Recommended Posts

Guest Roxanna L

Hi, all!

Went to the therapist, again, for my second session. And it was... interesting, to say the least.

Before I get started: She knows of this website, and only because I told her. I also remember her being pleasantly amused, as it uses her first name... Yes, her name is 'Laura', too.

Anyway, I decided to not yet tell her what I told you (my 'revelation'), as I felt it could be an undue influence on our discussions. On the train to Amsterdam, I decided to update my notes, on what I've been thinking, feeling, etcetera... The train trip was boring, so it helped pass the time...

The first half hour I was so wired, I frequently found myself at a loss for words...

At one point, I decided to tell her about my AGP, and the fear I have of being considered insane...

She was surprised something like that existed, as she never heard of it, before. So I told her about who came up with the theory, what it said, and how it is viewed from within the scientific community. (Truthfully, of course.)

While the things we discussed did reintroduce the little voice o' doubt, I remain reasonably certain I'm still on the right track. And I'll tell you why:

She told how it is wrong to divide things between 'right' and 'wrong', from the start, as it makes disseminating new things that much more difficult. She's right, and that's exactly what I've been doing for years, now...

At the end, she gave me this sorely needed morale boost: She doesn't believe that something like AGP matters. "Everything you discover about yourself, is good." and "We'll find out, together."

But it seems my engine is running out of "luck-oline"... Not only do I have to wait six weeks for the next session, because they're moving to a new location; but I had to walk back to the train station, because a broken down tram fouled up the tracks...

I compiled some notes about the session, on the train back home. I thought it was best to write things down, while it was still fresh. And it staves off the boredom...

Anna

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Anna

This is a time when many of us just have a moment to drop in and read but not as much time as usual to reply. Plus many more people will be interested in and follow your story than ever reply.

It sounds like you are off to a very good start with your therapist. It also sounds as though, like myself and many others here, you just might tend to overthink things. This whole gender maze is so confusing it can quickly tie you in knots but it sounds like your therapist will be good at getting to the heart of things.

It's a shame that there is such a long wait to see your therapist again. But we are here for you and at least you now know what to expect.

Happy Holidays

John

Link to comment

Roxanna, it sounds like you have a good therapist, she is absolutely right about dividing things into right and wrong because what you feel is wrong today may feel right tomorrow, i discovered lots about myself, my therapist got me thinking about when i was young and little by little certain memories about needing to be a girl surfaced, mostly while i was asleep, i would wake up and remember those times like they happened yesterday.

Paula

Link to comment
Guest Roxanna L

Anna

This is a time when many of us just have a moment to drop in and read but not as much time as usual to reply. Plus many more people will be interested in and follow your story than ever reply.

It sounds like you are off to a very good start with your therapist. It also sounds as though, like myself and many others here, you just might tend to overthink things. This whole gender maze is so confusing it can quickly tie you in knots but it sounds like your therapist will be good at getting to the heart of things.

It's a shame that there is such a long wait to see your therapist again. But we are here for you and at least you now know what to expect.

Happy Holidays

John

stupid, stupid, stupiiiid... :banghead:

I completely forgot what time of the year it is. And here I am, getting all worked up, feeling like I'm being ignored... Guess it just goes to show how used I am to people replying quickly... And I never go out to family at christmas, I'm just not used to it...

The 'overthinking' sounds about right. I'm definitely not stupid. I've got a high IQ, even though I don't know how high it is... I've always prided myself on my intellect, to solve mental puzzles without much trouble... That I'm having trouble solving this one, makes it very distressing...

Guess I'll drop in at Chat, when the mood strikes me. At least I have a nice pen pall, over there.

Roxanna, it sounds like you have a good therapist, she is absolutely right about dividing things into right and wrong because what you feel is wrong today may feel right tomorrow, i discovered lots about myself, my therapist got me thinking about when i was young and little by little certain memories about needing to be a girl surfaced, mostly while i was asleep, i would wake up and remember those times like they happened yesterday.

Paula

Yeah, she's good, alright... Therapists have to be able to ask really probing questions, but also able to do so with tact. This she does (seemingly) without effort. And the fact she's trans provides her with a nice frame of reference...

My memories have been a bit different, in the sense that most come back during the day...

Anna

Link to comment
Guest Penelope

Hi Anna,

It is not that I am uninterested in what you have to say. It takes me time to think about what you or others write in the forums and reply with something relevant and (possibly) helpful. Frequently, someone has already posted a reply that makes anything I might say superfluous.

From the little I know about therapists the best ones guide you in a systematic audit of yourself. There can be no timetable for this. As people here keep saying 'your mileage may vary'. You are examining the very core of who you are and what you want to do with your life.

Keep posting. Not all newspaper readers write letters to the editor.

Best wishes for the rest of today and a happy New Year.

Penny

Link to comment
At the end, she gave me this sorely needed morale boost: She doesn't believe that something like AGP matters. "Everything you discover about yourself, is good." and "We'll find out, together."

Wow, this is the second time I feel like I should send some money to a therapist because of their unintentional help. :P

There is truth in it! I have made so many discoveries about myself in the past 5 months and although some of them have been downright distressing and even terrifying they have all helped me grow as an individual in there own way.

The 'overthinking' sounds about right. I'm definitely not stupid. I've got a high IQ, even though I don't know how high it is... I've always prided myself on my intellect, to solve mental puzzles without much trouble... That I'm having trouble solving this one, makes it very distressing...

Jeeze, are we the same person or something? :lol:

Seriously though I am the same in this manner. Was probably the reason I fell into some false positives because I thought I had figured it out. Truth of the matter is this isn't soley a mind game if it was I would've really been done with it months ago. Rather it is a combination of a mind and emotion game and thus my intellect is inadequate to solve it completely. It is a powerful tool to help me solve but by itself it cannot... like wielding a hammer without having any nails. Therapy will give me the nails then I get to hammer them in with my brain hammer! :lol:

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 69 Guests (See full list)

    • SamC
    • Mmindy
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaryEllen
    • Petra Jane
    • Thea
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,071
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Ran91
    Newest Member
    Ran91
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Caridad
      Caridad
    2. Certbunnie
      Certbunnie
      (25 years old)
    3. EstherElle
      EstherElle
      (43 years old)
    4. Juliet
      Juliet
      (43 years old)
    5. MelissaAndProudOfIt
      MelissaAndProudOfIt
      (59 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      Nice to meet you!!   I'm seventeen too :) 
    • MAN8791
      Violin, piano, voice, classical recorder.   I'm currently writing a musical without collaborators so writing lyrics and composing music also.
    • Charlize
      Welcome Cynthia   Glad you found us. For me having a safe place to share my journey towards self acceptance was so helpful. You are not alone.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Ali_Genderlfuid
      I'm new here and I just wanted to introduce myself! I'm Ali, I'm 17 and I am genderfluid. My pronouns at the time of writing this are He/they but mainly pronouns I use are She/ he/ they/ it. Its a pleasure to meet you all!   Thank you for reading! Ali ❤️
    • RaineOnYourParade
      There's many words to describe the same idea -- excellent, good, amazing, incredible, great, and other synonyms, for example. It's a shame that some people can't realize that the reason that so many words exist is that it's the human experience; There's a million ways to feel the same exact thing, or to express it. That includes gender. Not everyone wants to express their gender the same way, trans or no. If we try to say in order to be trans, you have to do a, b, and c, you deny all those "flavors" and "hues" that make up the human experience.   That's just my five cents, though
    • Cynthia Slowan
      I also play guitar, not very well though and dabble in writing poems and songs. It is a very peaceful way to relax.        💗 Cynthia 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think the first thing may be to realize we have shared interests and shared opposition.  I read an article not long ago by someone who decided to non-op and non-hrt and her transgender friends basically decided she was a traitor and not really trans and had no right to speak on trans issues.  She said many trans people say you aren't really trans unless you do the whole surgical route and legal, etc.  Some insist on the gender binary, others insist on a spectrum.  There must be an agreement to disagree.  Not all of us here have the same viewpoint or the same experience or the same condition.  But we can identify common interests, like walking into a public restroom without fear of arrest, or the right to medical care.    The divisions are severe, heart-felt, and real, but from a practical point of view we need to lay some of those aside when we can for the common interest.  Some of those we cannot lay aside because of personal integrity, but we can work across the aisle, so to speak, something sadly lacking in the public arena today.    
    • Cynthia Slowan
      Thanks Vicky!  I made a mistake with my topic heading, I consider myself as a Lady but I know that not everyone here thinks that way so I apologize for that.   I should say Hi everyone!! 💗 Cynthia 
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums Cynthia.   We do have gentlemen here as well who are some of the nicest guys you can get to know.
    • VickySGV
      @Mirrabooka@Abigail Genevieve Let's not neglect the severe divisions within the Trans and NB sector as well along those lines.  Where we have Non Op & Non HRT and Cross Dressers, Gender Benders, Gender Fluid, Agender et al VS. the full surgical route takers with GCS, FFS, BA and vocal surgery,   Which of those segments gets to speak for the others?  How do we turn them into a cohesive force for good just among those nominally under the Trans shade tree?? 
    • Cynthia Slowan
      Hi, I am Cynthia, 62 year old lifelong crossdresser.  I have been dressing off and on for as long as I can remember. In the last ten years or so I have noticed that my dressing has become a major part of my life, I went through all of the purging and confusion and I came out feeling more like a woman every day.  Self acceptance is very powerful if you truly accept who you are.    Over the last few years I have built a nice wardrobe and now spend about 80% of the time as my true self. I only wear male clothing when visiting with family and running errands. I don’t know if I am trans or not, all I know is that I absolutely love myself as a woman and that’s how I feel about myself, that I am Cynthia.   I love wearing makeup, dresses and jewelry, it feels so good and natural to me.     I am thankful to have found this special place and look forward to being a part of this beautiful community!!  I hope to learn about myself and also to participate and interact daily and to help others in their journey as well.    If I could I would absolutely live full time as a woman and hopefully with help and encourage I will one day fulfill this dream. I love being a woman and thinking of myself this way. I’ve never thought much about my pronouns but I definitely like she/her for myself!!   Thanks for reading and I look forward to being here and sharing with you all!!     💗 Cynthia 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Felix,   I don't know how aware you are of the motives behind Military Boot Camp, but the most important thing it's designed to do is break you down, physically and mentally, weeding out those who can't make it. If you really want to be a Marine after you graduate high school? Stop believing you do things better when you're high. Clean your lungs by filling them with the fresh air of cross country running. Start small, run around the block, then around the track, then from your house to the track. Run everywhere! Run, run, run, and then when you can't go any further. Run some more. Do this feeling like you're going into Boot Camp in top physical condition, and your training will still break you down. That's what it's designed to do, and you'll earn the right to be called a Marine. The best thing about your wishes to become a Marine, is that it's something you can surely do with a proper mindset. Yes, it's very physical, but most of all it's mental. My brother-in-law is a retired Marine, and I love his stories ranging from his time in boot camp, to his time as a drill instructor. These conversations are not started by him. They're usually started by my nephew who is also a Marine. I can't say enough how proud I am of my family and friends who have or are currently serving in the Armed Forces. I will be equity proud of you too.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Finn_Pioneer
      I was always playing the boy in house, and I HATED wearing dresses. I used to dress up super masc and go out to dinner to just make sure I could still pass as a boy. I thought of it as a game but.. uh.. nope. 
    • Timi
      I took Maybelline's quiz https://www.maybelline.com/babelline-makeup-personality-quiz and I'm "Perfectly Practical" when it comes to makeup.    I carry three things in my makeup bag in my purse that I use any or all depending on my mood.    1) Maybelline magic eraser/concealer. Pretty much a liquid foundation/concealer in lipstick-sized package with built-in sponge applicator. It rules.    2) Maybelline mascara primer. It's the subtlest of enhancements, yet makes me feel confident in my eye communication.    3) Subtle lipstick in a natural/nude shade. Very slight enhancement that again, is mostly for how I feel.    -Timi
    • April Marie
      Thank you!! I finally gave up and dropped the t-shirt. Working in the skort and sports bra was much cooler!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...