When You Have Fully Transitioned...are You Still A 'transsexual?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Donna Jean

That's what I was thinking - I have been on Laura's and on the support site Beginning Life for over two years. I have read a huge amount of posts - and don't recall a single incident where an MTF (or anyone else) ever said we MTF are better than natal women because of our duality. I certainly haven't heard it said we are BETTER than anybody, natal male or natal female, androgyne, cross dresser or intersexed - or whomever - for ANY reason.

I suppose I could be wrong or have missed something, but I honestly doubt it. At the LGBTQ group, some say we are benefiting from living a life in both genders, but just about all of us say we would prefer to be the gender we identify as, and that isn't saying we are anything but sad our lives were stolen from us - up to the point we decided to do something about it.

Just me... thinking this through.

Lizzy

[Drea]

I suppose I could be wrong or have missed something, but I honestly doubt it.

Well like I was saying, I didn't recognize such either till I had matured many years after transition. So I wouldn't expect you to.

[Guest Jenni_S]

Live your life........period!

Donna Jean

Hi Dee Jay,

Yes indeed!

Remind me to show you the shirt I had made, when I had just begun the transition and was a bit "obvious." I guess I sort of did wear a sign for a bit!

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

Yup!

I'm 60.....

I've lived...can't be denied...

We all have different life experiences, rates of maturity, depth of acceptance and level of comfort....

Live your life........period!

Donna Jean

im with her

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well like I was saying, I didn't recognize such either till I had matured many years after transition. So I wouldn't expect you to.

At first reading it seemed it might be a bit condescending of you to say that. But I suppose you have the experience, so you can say what you wish.

Might be true.

But I believe after 63 years I am still full of life and learning something new everyday. I am glad to not have become old and bitter, with little joy in my life. Transitioning is still very magical to me, even after so much suffering. It's my goal to help those who are terrified in their gender dysphoria, to have hope - and to understand what they face. I don't sugar-coat, but I try hard to not be negative.

Lizzy

[Guest NatalieRene]

I feel I have transitioned, 'cause I am a woman like I have always been, and now people see me that way. There is more to do but hey, there are no pantie checks after you transition... grin.

And if people don't agree, I don't care. I am what I am...

Lizzzzzzzy

Except when you fly at the air port.

Personally I am of the opinion that as soon as I have my srs and get my paperwork processed to change my gender label I'm no longer trans. Sure I'll always be genetically male but no one would look at me and think hey there goes a guy in a dress.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I pass so easily and that others who feel exactly the same way have such a tougher experience and are treated so terribly. I couldn't abandon everyone that has helped me so much. So while I wouldn't specifically consider myself trans anymore I'll be here to lend a guiding hand for others even if it risks outing me.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Natalie,

Quote " As soon as I have my srs and get my paperwork processed to change my gender label I'm no longer trans!"

That makes a lot of sense! However some who have surgery-change their gender marker on their birth certificate, drivers licence etc, etc, still see themselves as 'transsexual'...Even when in the eyes of the law of the land, for all legal purposes they are what's on their birth certificate, and that's either 'female or male' and from what I gather the word 'transsexual' doesn't appear at all ...

I know that it's different for non and pre-ops in the US when it comes to surgery and gender being changed on legal document, but in the UK and a few other countries, surgery is not a requirement for ones gender on their birth certificate to be changed . All that's required is proof in the form of psychiatric diagnosis and proof that one is on HRT and has been living in the affirmed gender for [in the UK] a period of at lease two years or more ...

Metta Zenda

[Guest Donna Jean]

I know that it's different for non and pre-ops in the US when it comes to surgery and gender being changed on legal document, but in the UK and a few other countries, surgery is not a requirement for ones gender on their birth certificate to be changed . All that's required is proof in the form of psychiatric diagnosis and proof that one is on HRT and has been living in the affirmed gender for [in the UK] a period of at lease two years or more ...

Metta Zenda

Well, I like that system........

The flesh between one's legs shouldn't be the measure of one's gender, orientation or driving ability!

After all, it's what's in our heads that makes us male or female.......right?

Donna Jean

[Guest NatalieRene]

Kia Ora Natalie,

Quote " As soon as I have my srs and get my paperwork processed to change my gender label I'm no longer trans!"

That makes a lot of sense! However some who have surgery-change their gender marker on their birth certificate, drivers licence etc, etc, still see themselves as 'transsexual'...Even when in the eyes of the law of the land, for all legal purposes they are what's on their birth certificate, and that's either 'female or male' and from what I gather the word 'transsexual' doesn't appear at all ...

I know that it's different for non and pre-ops in the US when it comes to surgery and gender being changed on legal document, but in the UK and a few other countries, surgery is not a requirement for ones gender on their birth certificate to be changed . All that's required is proof in the form of psychiatric diagnosis and proof that one is on HRT and has been living in the affirmed gender for [in the UK] a period of at lease two years or more ...

Metta Zenda

Kia Ora Zenda

Sadly people can only get their birth certificates updated if they where born in certain states that will make the change. Some states will only cross out and update rather then reissue a new one. Even worse others like Texas, Tennessee and Ohio refuse to update in any shape or form the gender marker. It's a complete homophobic attitude where they still look at the people as their birth gender and makes me ill. The United States is in many ways backwards.

Personally for me though I would still feel like I was not fully me even if I was able to get my gender marker changed without getting srs. SRS isn't for the gender marker. SRS is so I can express myself as I am. It's something that isn't required for being trans but in my case needed. The gender marker is just so I can actually legally get married to the man that I will hopefully find if I haven't already and fall in love with.

The flesh between one's legs shouldn't be the measure of one's gender, orientation or driving ability!

I haven't had anyone accuse me of being a bad driver yet but I've been asked on many occasions if I dyed my hair black or out right asked me if I was a natural blond. I don't know what's worse.

[Drea]

Sadly people can only get their birth certificates updated if they where born in certain states that will make the change.

A passport is the gold standard as far as identification in the US. Regardless of what one's birth state will do, one can get passport updated. One can even get short term passport with the update gender marker even without sugery.

With a passport one really doesn't need a birth certificate.

The only circumstance I can think of where a passport might not work is marriage license. I know it will work in my state. Just guessing.

The flesh between one's legs shouldn't be the measure of one's gender, orientation or driving ability!

Its really just the hormones that make a difference. After having an accident free driving record, two weeks after starting hormones *bang* I get into a head on collision. Was that really connected to hormones? Must be, you just read it on the internet!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Its really just the hormones that make a difference. After having an accident free driving record, two weeks after starting hormones *bang* I get into a head on collision. Was that really connected to hormones? Must be, you just read it on the internet!

LOL....yeah.......

After years of riding motorcycles, playing guitar, flying airplanes and running dangerous power equipment....I thought I was pretty coordinated....

But, after two years on hormones, I fall down putting on a peasant skirt!

It MUST be the 'mones!

Donna Jean

[Guest Christine Alexa]

Kia Ora Zenda

Sadly people can only get their birth certificates updated if they where born in certain states that will make the change. Some states will only cross out and update rather then reissue a new one. Even worse others like Texas, Tennessee and Ohio refuse to update in any shape or form the gender marker. It's a complete homophobic attitude where they still look at the people as their birth gender and makes me ill. The United States is in many ways backwards.

Don't remind me Natalie

Like I said earlier in the week, I have no reason to go back to TN ever again except for when my Mom dies someday. Until the laws change. I mean it wasn't enough that I left the state to be away from the homophobia and gay bashing, but to know they are going to screw with me on my Birth Certificate, really steams me up.

Wasn't leaving the state enough for them?!?!

whoops I got on a rant again

Back to topic, once I have SRS, to me, the "Transition" is over, hence I'm just a girl with a crappy state of birth. I'm telling my employees Monday, and still haven't started HRT yet. I'm a business owner so there's no way to be "stealth" so I'm sure in some eyes, I will always be a T-girl which is fine. I'm here to live my life, and not worry about societies labels anymore.. already spent too much of my life worrying about that.

HTH

Christine

[JJ]

The same studies that are confirming that our brains are structured like the gender we identify with also show that they have some degree of structure or material like our assigned gender. The hormones we have experienced since the womb have made changes we cannot deny. Not necessarily a bad thing. It gives us advantages apparently in intelligence and having a wider range of perception perhaps.

Certainly being trans has brought us all so much pain, being forced to role play has caused such distress that I can understand the desire to leave the whole thing behind. But for me I value many things in myself that are likely directly related to being trans. I am glad I understand some of what a woman feels even though my primary reactions are male. I feel like I I am more than a man because of it not less. All the male is still there but with added perceptions, added verbal skills. I will always identify as trans because to me it says the enduring part of me -the mind and soul are richer and more for it.

My body is certainly less and transition will not change that. I will never be as tall as I would have been. I will never have functional male equipment as it were. Those are facts I need to accept if I am to live a good life from here on. There have been enough lies in my life. I won't tell myself any more and say I have left trans behind. My body doesn't define me but if I am to really live I have to inhabit it. Identify with it. If I only identify myself as male and not as a trans man I can't do that.

It varies for each of us and how we are put together psychologically. This is how I am and how I must be. I will live my life in this body as a male. But I will only hurt myself if I try to live in it without accepting the realities of being trans.

[Guest Orva26]

JJ,

I find your sentiments extremely eloquently put and helpful.

[Guest SidESlicker]

I don't think I'll ever be "less trans" because of where I am on my transitioning journey.

And I don't think I'm any less discredited as a man because I am a trans man.

Will I always be different from the cis gendered boys who never had to look down at the toilet and not see blood seeping out of their most private of areas?

Of course. That's what part of being trans is.

I can't change the fact that I was raised as a woman, to be a woman, and identified a woman for a large part of my life. But that doesn't make me less of a man, or less queer than I am.

But mind you, I'm one of those weird people who takes pride in their identity and loves their body and mind... it's kind of a crazy concept but it works. But hey, who's ever heard of queers being proud of who they are?

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Orva,

No matter what kind of genital surgery one has, there will always be pluses and minuses, all forms of surgical procedures have 'risks' attached to them...

The colonvaginoplasty technique was developed by a UK surgeon specifically for young 'natal' girls who were born with a deformed vagina [a friend of mine's niece had the same surgery done when she was in her early teens]...

A team of Dutch surgeons adapted and perfected the technique for use on transsexual patients ...One could say that 'colonvaginoplasty' provides one with the nearest thing to a natural vagina, but then I can 'only' speak from my personal experience...[because it went well for me-that is no leaks no bad smells, etc, etc, however I did have to have a Zplasty around a year after the initial surgery, but this it would seem was standard practice by the surgical team that performed the surgery at the time]...

Would I have opted for this procedure if I had to pay for surgery myself...possibly not, as it's more invasive and more risks involved than the penial inversion technique plus it cost more... Am I happy with the results

Metta Zenda