Calling All Creative Thinkers…

[Guest Zenda]

…

I had a study free day today…I’m a fulltime mature student-studying ‘computer skill for employment’ at our local adult community education centre [very mature some might say]…

Any way it was such a nice day I decided to do some retail therapy …second hand shopping-bought two summer tops even though it’s winter here down under-I’m thinking ahead…plus paid a visit AGAIN to my dentist which left me with a very bad taste in my mouth…I finally ended up at one of my favourite ‘thinking’ spots the look out point at Palm Beach…It’s a beautiful view of infinite ideas where the ocean of thought meets the horizon of ideas and the cloud’s porous cloak protects the deep blue winter sky…

Umm I hope the above burst of creativity is contagious…

Now I’m going to start a simple list, for both trans females and males…The idea is to start a ‘brain storming’ exercise -getting that old grey matter sparked up, igniting those stagnant brain cells…It’s to get you all to think up ways of improving your lot ie, the situation you have found yourself in- how to improve ones appearance, etc, etc….

This really does require all your participation and creative skills…So get your creative thinking caps on…Remember any idea can be improved - added to…Plus when ‘brain storming’ there’s really no such thing as a ridiculous idea…

Remember a ‘dress’ does not maketh the female!!!…

Androgynous dress sense…Metamorphosis means a ‘gradual change’ so when one begins their journey it should be a gradual one…hence the importance of the androgynous stage….

(1)Use ‘image’ when using a search engine to search for ‘androgynous dress styles’ heaps of tips to be found, on what to wear to get that subtle androgynous look…Prior to going 24/7 the trans lady on the island where I live started to dress androgynously…Now what I’m about to say might sound cruel but some of the pants she worn did have the woman’s label in them…but didn’t look much different to normal men’s trendy pants…However the ‘psychological’ impact[the woman’s label] had on her was amazing…just knowing the pants were female really hit the mark for her and boosted her confidence no end…

[i posted this link elsewhere, but it won’t hurt for me to post it here…

http://images.google.co.nz/images?hl=en&am...+guys&gbv=2 ]

(2)(One of my favourites) Eye brow plucking…you will be amazed at the change in facial appearance this simple technique can give…Quite a few years back my electrolosist, asked if she could pluck my eye brows-I had just come out to her the week before…she said it will give a more feminine shape to my face…For males DON’T pluck your eye brows and DON’T shave your legs…

(3)Moisturiser ‘tinted or clear’…For face and hands… do it daily…subtle, but can really give ones face and hands a soft smooth look …Plus can make one feel as if they are really progressing along their path to wholeness…A real feel good feeling…’New age’ guys might like using moisturiser…

Now it’s up to you to help yourselves and others by adding to the list…I’m sure many of you have developed some ‘feel good’ techniques that you wouldn’t mind sharing with others…Here’s your chance…

Happy creative thinking…

Metta Jendar

[Guest jantonio]

This is a good thread Jendar.

Here are my tips for males:

1 - Let your underarm hair grow, if you don't like it too long just trim it with scissors. Trust me it feels great, when I am laying in bed with my man's undergarment and I look at my underarm hair it makes me feel more masculine.

2 - Use a man's wallet in your back pocket of your pants. Do not, I repeat, do not use a woman's handbag.

3 - Trim your fingernails, keep them short.

4 - Only buy man's pants. It really does make a difference wearing man's pants as opposed to women's. It builds your confidence.

5 - Keep your hair short.

6 - Buy man's shoes, it does make a difference.

7 - Start wearing man's undergarments it makes a huge difference.

8 - One thing I started doing is practicing lowering my voice instead of using my high voice.

Ok, those were some tips I had.

Jose Antonio...

[Guest April]

Well let's see, as around the house I where all female cloths, but when I go off to the doctor, wal-mart, or just about everywhere else I wear this -

(1) long baggie t-shirt

(2) Bra ( to fit me )

(3) a pair of panties

(4) for the jeans I where the womens low cut hipster jeans with the flared legs. I have found these types of jeans do several thing for me, 1- the waist of the jeans are down on my hips, this creates an illusion that my hips are bigger than they are.

2- they are tighter fitting to the knee so they show off my upper legs

3- the flared legs that start below the knee help to hide some size of my feet

(5) my guy tennis shoes

optional for the next 2

(6) a round fishing style hat ( mine is black )

(7) a long button up style shirt left unbuttoned

I wore this to my doctor's office the other day when I was getting a hair removal treatment and if they realized what I had on they never said anything.

[Guest Snow Angel]

If you're out to your roommates, or live alone, sleep in gender appropriate pajamas. It's a nice reminder of what you are right when you wake up.

[Guest April]

If you're out to your roommates, or live alone, sleep in gender appropriate pajamas. It's a nice reminder of what you are right when you wake up.

I totally agree !!!!!!!!!

[Sakura]

to any that may be living fulltime with out a legal name change i took to some time back ago in any circumstance were im not legally bound to my male name i use my female name examples my tanning salon membership block buster at my mechanic my pool member ship i have talked to other tgirls and it surprized me that they think they are required to giver thier legal names on those things in some cases like block buster you have to start the member ship with a credit or debit card just request the name to be your female name and usally no hassel they dont care what the name the account is in solong as some ones paying for it lol it may feel a bit akward but in a month they wont remeber the name on the card just the name on the account it feels great when your sitting at walmart waiting for you cars oil change and they call out your female/male name

Sakura

[Guest Martin]

Jose Antonio has some excellent advice for guys. If the chest growths are smaller, I'd also suggest wearing layered clothing with something baggy on top - it can hide the growths without binding.

[Guest Keane]

For transguys, packing, even if its just a folded up sock or something, makes a HUGE difference in your confidence level.

[Guest Evan_J]

Go into a barber shop. Even if you don't think you're ready for a haircut there GO IN. You can always just ask what their hours are. It's getting comfortable being in there that you are after.

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

I have thought about this a WHOLE lot recently. I live with my XX cisgirlfriend, who never wore any makeup until she was 20, shaved her head throughout college and wore jeans and a tshirt most of the time (these days she's more femme, though people peg her externally as a tomboy). Most of the women I've dated were some sort of pansexuals and were either tomboys or pretty butchy or whatever. Nor did any of this ever impact their identity as a woman. Truthfully it never mattered to me either. I wore what I liked, but my tastes leaned more femme. Just to get stuff that fit me right, that I liked (having a vogue-inspired fashion sense more than my oft-butchy lovers), I often shopped really high fashion places. I even bought a shirt off a runway show one time. I've spent so much cash on the eight shirts and four pairs of pants I have. Of course I could shop victoria's secret for my shirts and get them fitting through the shoulders and with extra space through the chest, LOL. But the labels on my clothes? Or whether it consituted "men's" or "women's" clothing? Frankly anything other than a mechanic's monkey suit can constitute "women's clothing" these days. Am I the only one who lived through the 90s when boys and girls were all wearing tattered jeans and caridigans with their favorite rock band tshirts (and boys and girls were all looking pretty hot to me back then)?

Now, however, I do have money and am having more clothing custom made in styles I like beyond even what I used to get at the stores in Atlanta that catered to Gay men and the high street fashion places. Basically I continue to wear what I like and I like my blouses a bit frilly, and I like some nice details and a close cut at my high waist. I think all this just makes me look to the world like an incredibly fashionable man, like a rock star or something (which is fun in its own way).

So what? What are you saying Jeannine? Why did you ever start caring about any of this? That's a good question, because I've suddenly been caring more about clothes in the last couple of months than I ever did before.

Frankly, I like the personal and social feedback loops. Much of my life, I've felt like my sense of identity has been locked inside of me. Like all these things that are uniquely me are simply touched here and there by my gender identity, by my womanhood. It's really a small thing, but it influences a lot of other things. I don't want to have that internal existence be solely internal anymore. It's a very painful way to live and I've come to feel that it would probably kill me eventually. I think also, my own personal visual, auditory and kineasthetic feedback loop can support my identity more and more.

So I'm choosing markers of womanhood carefully. I'm choosing them for ME first. Optimally, if SRS was really good, I'd go and do that, and it might be an intense enough and personal enough feedback for ME that I could continue living my life comfortably and feel that my womanhood is adequately confirmed and not give a nuts what anyone else thinks. Then I'd be a lot like my girlfriends who cut their hair like boys and strode around in jeans and work boots (looking sexy as heck I might add). At the moment, though, I don't have enough personal feedback for myself that supports my identity. Seeing myself in the mirror, or finding that I'm still all sealed up down there during sex can really feel shocking and traumatizing to me. So I'm choosing markers that help ME feel comfortable and not so deeply internalized. Clothing is helpful. Voice is helpful. Changing my name is helpful. Hair removal is VERY helpful. I think FFS will be REALLY wonderful. (Ill say it again though, if SRS was really perfect, I actually feel it alone would be all I need to solidify my own personal comfort and sense of consonance).

Secondly I'm choosing markers to help other people know how to interact with me. I want as much social feedback as I can get to support my sense of identity as well. Obviously, people being what they are, I cannot rely on this as a support system, but I can choose who I interact with and communicate to people from the outset as much about who I am, visually, auditorily, and kineasthetically, as possible. As fellow adults, they can be accepting and nice to me or they can go their own way. That's not my problem. However, I am starting to realize that it's my responsibility to build this communication system as clearly and up front as I can in order to filter the people into my life (and out :-) that I should be spending my time with.

Hope this contributes,

Jeannine

PS: I also discovered recently that I had a lot of guilt and shame about feeling that I'm a woman. For years my parents hardly hid that they didn't like my saying I wanted to be a girl (I asked for hormones, and for a sex change starting at age 7, and many more times into my mid or late teens. Last time I said anything to them was my early 20s. Mom kept talking about how "these phases are common".. she said that mantra for almost 15 years, LOL). My church wasn't very nice about it (at ALL). My (many) councilors weren't to helpful about it until I was in my mid twenties. By then I already had these bad notions built in. Most people weren't so nice about it. Gays and Lesbians often weren't too nice about it. Many of my lovers weren't too nice about it (men or women). My friends usually didn't understand, or wanted to load their own male bovine crap onto it. For a long time I tried to break myself of being transgendered.

Recently, after a long walk on a mountain and some Qi Kung, I decided it's just who I am, and it doesn't mean I'm broken, or evil, or not functional, or anything else. It just means I like being a woman and there's nothing wrong with that. Even if other people don't understand it, it' just part of being me. For once I actually feel thankful for my experience. I wish I could get really perfect SRS, and fix my bone structure and voice and hair in better ways, or that I was just born the way I would have chosen. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be another PERSON. It was around this time I also decided to change my name too, and I knew it was the right thing to do.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hey, Hey Jendar!!

What I can contribute is this for the MTFs!!... Shave your legs, arms, underarms, chest, back, etc.!! Moisturize too!! Smell nice!! Use feminne deoderant!! Get small, thin and dainty!! To be feminine you want to look frail and sweet and vulnerable!! Nothing will make you feel more feminine than when a guy wants to protect you!! Believe me, smelling good is the first key!! Feeling soft is the second key!! Looking good and soft is the third key! Metta, you know what I mean!!

To my MTF friends!! Be soft, smell good, look cute!!

LOL

bernii

[Guest Elizabeth K]

MTF people

If you are growing your hair out, go to a good hairdresser and find out how to style it! Like my hairdresser said, she could work wonders but what I did at home after is what people see.

Learn to do it correctly! It's time consuming but worth it.

Lizzy

[Guest Melanieshaman]

MTF people

If you are growing your hair out, go to a good hairdresser and find out how to style it! Like my hairdresser said, she could work wonders but what I did at home after is what people see.

Learn to do it correctly! It's time consuming but worth it.

Lizzy

Lots of good advice here..as for going to a hair dresser...well, i married one so i'm good there, she always wants to help me with my look just colored and straightened my hair a few weeks ago, i love being able to wear it down more..THAT as much as wearing a bra and panites help me feel feminine.