Concerns About Not Passing/blending In…[For The Pre-Transitioner]

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora pre transitioners,

The fear of not passing/blending in is felt by both M2Fs and F2Ms, but for the most part, it would seem for the F2M who start HRT this fear greatly subsided…This being due to the powerful impact testosterone has on their bodies and their voices…

However for the M2F [on estrogen] this is not always the case, some have to resort to facial surgery and in some cases a boob job too…

This post is just to find out if F2Ms are just as fearful as M2Fs about not blending in…

For participating...

Metta Zenda

[Guest Roxanna L]

You're welcome, Zenda.

Yes, testosterone is very powerful, no one needs to remind me of that...

As for passing: while I'm positively terrified that I'll never pass well enough, I can do no more than my very best, now can I?

Hugs,

Anna

[JJ]

Hi Zenda,

There was a report on a morning show a couple of days ago that may also be relevant. According to new studies men tend to compete one on one and when perceiving a rival or aggression take the other male on one on one while women tend to ally themselves with other women and exclude the rival or aggressor. And it was stated this is not a learned but a hard wired behavior.

If this is so then it would be more imperative for a female to be seen as female by other females. And it would be one of the hard wired gender brain differences which means that MtFs would be hard wired that way as well-with the need to ally with other females.

I know as an FtM I have always taken on others in a direct one on one way and been puzzled why that was always seen as wrong.

As an FtM I am certainly more concerned that I see my body as male than that others do.

[Cyndee]

Hi Zenda, you have some great posts here, enjoy them.

Passing / Blending in is a very big concern for me given my situation. Decades of T's influence must be erased, covered, or de-emphasized, to even begin to aspire to "pass". It of course depends on the times and places of these expressions and I find comfort in creating situations where I don't have to "pass". I confront head on the fear of not passing however, I am not in the closet, my gender rainbow is shining in a binary world.

Peace for us all.

Cindy -

[Sally]

I selected not at all - I am not that powerful of a mind set but I think about it so little that a bit seemed to me to be a lot more than I actually think about it.

Blending in only happens when you let go of the concept that you have to 'act' a certain way to blend in - be yourself and you will blend in.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Orva26]

I went with I'm a bit concerned. My real goal is to not have to 'pass' because as a concept it bothers the hell out of me. I will not do anything that I don't want to or feel that I don't need to in order to be comfortable as an individual.

That being said, I would still like recognition as female.

[Guest Areyan]

i also chose a bit concerned as a FTM this doesn't worry me on a major level right now, sometimes i actually DO pass if i am working hard on my mannerisms and such - i have studied males and their behaviour all my life and before i came out i had relationships with men. my orientation has not changed because i'm still hetero as a man, i've discovered, so there won't be much more intimate study with guys, lol.

some of my son's friends at school either know i'm transgendered, suspect it, and some have even clocked me as his "dad" so that's a plus. one of the other concerns i have about blending in for both MTF and FTM i guess is the possibility of violence and great harm done when others find out that we're different. i fear for my physical safety at this stage because i am pre-transition, so it can be a dicey move going out there being myself (not that i have any choice in the matter, heh).