Crime Scene Investigation, Ft. Transgenders

[Guest Roxanna L]

I was a little surprised to find out no one had ever mentioned this before, here at Laura's, so here goes:

On 18 November 2004, Crime Scene Investigation aired with their 100th episode, called 'Ch-ch-changes'.

This episode involved the violent rape and murder of a post-op MTF transsexual, as well the negligent homicide of a pre-op MTF transsexual.

While this episode turned out to be the series' highest rated episode thus far, it was forever burned into my memory when I saw it.

I was sixteen years old when I first saw it. I never saw it again, ever since, as I could not bare watch it again...

While I hadn't come out to myself yet, I had fantasised about 'becoming a girl' for years and years, already...

Then, on the night I saw that episode, seeing a dead pre-op on a make-shift operating table in a self-storage lot was an extremely rude wake-up call...

Sure, I wanted to change (still do...), but THAT was not exactly the way I'd envisioned it for myself!

That particular scene, even though it was staged for television, gave me nightmares for weeks... Nightmares where I kept seeing those images, only with myself in her place...

While I have recovered from those nightmares, those images are with me, forever. To me, they are a constant reminder of the hardships we trans have to go through, and how things can go horribly wrong...

Today, I still recognise the risks in the path that I have chosen for myself, but I also know that the chance of getting killed in the process are so small, I might as well discount them... (As long as I don't resort to clandestine treatment, that is...)

Hugs,

Anna

[Guest PaintedWingss]

Is that episode on Hulu or Youtube? I'm interested in watching it and understanding was you mean. I've never heard of that episode yet.

And I can imagine how you would have been scarred. If I saw something like that with a FTM, I'd feel the same way. Maybe not with the nightmares (I don't recall ever having one), but that's besides the point.

-Taylor

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

Seems I vaguely remeber seeing that episode. Was it the one where the Dr. did backroom surgeries and left the victims to die if it didn't work out? Sounds really familiar!

Kristi

[Guest Roxanna L]

It's unlikely to be on YouTube, because it is copyrighted. And I don't know about hulu, as I can't access that from this side of the Atlantic.

If you really want to see it, and you can't find any legal means, you may have to resort to bit torrent...

[Guest PaintedWingss]

I was able to watch episodes on Youtube before, so I wasn't sure if this one was up, too. I'll snoop around for a streaming of it.

[Sally]

That particular episode had a cameo appearance by Dr. Marcy Bowers as the lady in charge of orientation for the legitimate surgeries, it is a very brief appearance.

Love ya,

Sally