My Neighborhood

[Guest NatashaJade]

As I pulled into the garage yesterday, I saw my esposa chatting with our neighbor. He's a roofing and electrical contractor and a pretty decent guy all things considered. He does work for us at cost and gives the kids old Hot Wheels. Now I haven't come out to anyone in my neighborhood because, well, I don't really know anyone except for the guy next door.

We're not the most neighborly of people. If I could, I'd enclose my front yard and use the space because I hate that I have all this property that simply sits there and does nothing but grow grass that I have spent the last three years trying to kill. Seriously. I hate this grass. It's this crappy Bermuda grass that grows in this desert for some reason and if it gets too tall it looks like the weed that it is and it is insanely aggressive. Back when I had illusions of a nice lawn, I rented a soil turning beast of a machine and chewed up the front and back yards. I installed a watering system (with help...I was actually the help, actually) and planted some nice seasonal rye grass. It was a beautiful lawn for one season and then the Bermuda came back and I gave up in disgust and now I never water in the hopes that I can let it go back to it's natural desert state but all it takes is a little rain and the Bermuda comes back like vampire grass, sucking the life out of everything around it. Plus, we save money on our water bill.

As I was saying, we're not the most neighborly of people. I'm just not very good at being gregarious. I'm friendly in controlled spaces (spaces I control), but otherwise, I'm kind of shy at meeting new people. So we don't really know anyone who lives around us so I have no idea how they will react when I am full time or they find out, simply because it is crazy red Arizona and all of my reps are crazy republicans, so I assume there are a few social conservatives in the area who own guns and perhaps a can of spray paint which their crazy red offspring might steal and paint something uncouth on my garage door like what happens on the TV and I think in real life, too.

And this makes me nervous about coming out just a little.

So I'm getting out of the car and I hear my esposa call me over. As I'm walking up, she says:

Hi, honey! I was just telling M about you.

Huh. Okay.

Now I understand why she thought it important to tell him. After all, I'm going to be full time this summer and he is outside all the time, even in the summer. He'd figure something out eventually. And I also give her license to tell folks about me at her discretion. So I wasn't angry at her for outing me, nor should you be.

But I was also a little surprised just because I wasn't expecting it. And you know what he said to me?

Congratulations! It must be a relief to finally be able to live your life as you are supposed to.

And I was without words. They finally came back and I thanked him and we chatted about the lesbian couple who apparently lives directly across the street from us and how if anyone in the neighborhood gave us any problems to tell him and he would have a word with them as he knows pretty much everyone and then my son came out of the house and asked M if he could have some cars and M played cars with the boy for a bit before we said our goodbyes.

This has been a very happy week for me, made more so by my discovery that the world is not always as I think it is...that it can be better.

Now if only I could kill that damned grass!

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest Maria_B]

You know what will make that grass ske-daddle?

Tell it you're ready for a commitment!

*bows*

M sounds like a swell bloke, I like him.

Love you Tasha!

Love, Maria.

[Guest JaniceW]

Tasha,

What a fantastic story. The world is NOT full of hate and bigotry, there are decent people too. Probably most people are decent.

[Guest Chiv]

Natasha,

This is a great story. Not to make generalizations but my support and true acceptance has come mostly from conservatives and moderates; from people one would least expect but I relate to them on many levels. Most liberals say the right things but actions and treatment varies. What I want from any person is honesty. I don't like labels but this is the best I can sum up in a post. I have friends from all walks of life.

Just as many of us are diverse on this site and pretty much have one thing in common; so are people. As more of us are coming out on whatever level we are comfortable people are seeing the difference between the GLB and T; they are seeing we are not what some talk shows depict; and while public figures and celebrities help; it is men and women on this site that change hearts and attitudes.

Great neighbor and very uplifting post.

John

[JJ]

Neighbors. I shudder at the idea of coming out to the neighbors. I'm not going to say anything unless they ask but you make me feel much better about the idea.

I love how life can give us these warm , happy surprises and affirmations. I wonder why we are so much more prone to worry about what so seldom happens rather than look forward to life's good surprises?

My dad believed kids should work on the weekends and summer but he didn't believe they should work outside the home. We had a large Bermuda grass lawn and formal flower beds and rose beds. Guess who had to fight that filthy stuff out of those flower beds under the broiling Texas sun while their friends drove by in bathing suits and laughed?

I'm not sure nuclear war would kill that stuff. Apparently a long hard cold winter where the ground freezes down to the roots is the only thing that will do the trick. That and those fat white grubs that grow up to be June bugs. The cold seems a little unlikely there in Arizona and the June bugs don't get it all -just leave brown circles. Not to mention if you really want to see the nasty side of your neighbors introduce a noxious pest that will leave their lawns looking kind of like miniature crop circles with the interesting patterns. All I can sy it that you are not along in your loathing-but I am unsure if there are any support groups for us.

Love

John

[Carolyn Marie]

Very heartwarming story, Tasha. Well, not about the grass, perhaps. But about your neighbor, absolutely.

I honestly believe that success with coming out, the warmth and support that we all crave, is largely a product of how people perceive us as human beings. If you are a nice person, and appear that way to others, then they will respond in kind. I have found that to be true. Yes, there will always be the occasional jerk wad. But they will be the exception, and not the rule.

I'm happy you found a good friend in your neighbor, Tasha. But it is as much to do with you, as it is with him. Now maybe he can give you some help with that lawn.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest NatashaJade]

Now maybe he can give you some help with that lawn.

Nah. He's got a proper desert rock lawn that gets invaded by the Bermuda virus from time to time...I just want to pave the whole thing.

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest Areyan]

that is a really nice coming out story. i'm jealous

most of my neighbours laughed at my partner when she came out and she was cruelly taunted by local teens whenever she went anywhere. it got so bad she had to move out eventually and i'm still angry about it. the only neighbours i have that i get along with call me "queero" or "gayness", perhaps fondly to them as the rednecks they are but i find it insulting and at times scary and i just can't wait to leave this area. i live in new zealand, crappiest country in the world to come out apparently. don't move here, arizona and some parts of the u.s. sound a lot more accepting and i guess it shouldn't be surprising considering how much news coverage there is about trans folk in the bigger countries. in nz people are still flummoxed when told - what??? what's that mean, are you gay? that's about it over here, lol.