Losing My Virginity Again

[Guest sarah f]

its this sort of talk, fantasizing that makes me wonder how many go into having SRS for sex.

Ok I debated on whether or not to respond to this. I can't keep letting it get to me so I need to say something about this.

First off, I am not having SRS for sexual purposes! I can't say that about everyone here but who is to say having sexual fantasies is a bad thing. Natal women do it all the time. Why can't we dream of the day once we are finally able to have sex as a natal woman would. For those of you that don't dream about this then I am truly sorry for you.

I may never get to experience my dreams but that isn't going to stop me from dreaming about the possibilities.

[Guest ShannonA23]

its this sort of talk, fantasizing that makes me wonder how many go into having SRS for sex.

Probably the amount as those who regret it.

[Sakura]

i don't think ones desire for sex after srs is any indication of ones motives behind having srs. you would have to look at ones fantasies and thoughts on it to gauge that , a common misconception that seems to be handed down mostly by post op transsexuals is that women don't think about, want or even like sex , or that women don't fantasize about it and to think about it prior to srs totally invalidates ones reasons for wanting the surgery. which couldn't be further from the truth . while womens desire for sex is much smaller than mens it is still there , i have a small army of girl friends mom sister female cousins . we are all close enough , to talk about things of a sexual nature. and the one thing. i hear echoed among all but one of them . is the lack of sex they and thier partners have , their disapointments in it, fantasies. while the average woman dose not have a libido on par with a man. most women do have one .

i, myself . do wonder about it though. 99.9% of my reason for needing srs. is my own personal body image. and to bring my body and mind into congruence. or as close as possible . but that 1% of my need for it is of a sexual nature. i brought that up to my therapist , and her statment was " i would be seriously suprized if you didn't " i am a 26 year old heterosexual woman in a relation ship with a heterosexual man. i love him , and if the mood and situation is right . i love being intimate with him. but my own body dysphoria and his total disinterest with my male genitals(fine by me !!) creates a rather large barrier. one that can only be over come with the completion of srs .

euphoric mind blowing sex is of no great importance to me , i don't get that now. nor have. i had an orgasm in the conventional sense . so anything has to be a step up , and even if. i can't after srs... i wouldnt know what i was missing anyway lol.

though when that day comes , i do hope the person. i share that new found virginity with , makes it special for me .

Sakura

[Guest EllieJay]

I guess you can't help but think about it.I have 3 children, but honestly can't wait for the day when when a man makes love to me inline with the way I feel inside. I imagine (and hope) that with the right person it will be a magical happening. To be able to fully let go off what is on the inside and be who you are must be wonderful.Everybody has the right to feel true love.

EllieJay

[Drea]

its this sort of talk, fantasizing that makes me wonder how many go into having SRS for sex.

I tossed in that comment for several reasons. First is because "how is sex like after SRS" and related questions are the most common post-op related question I seen asked. The folks who ask assume those they are asking have sex, they never ask first.

After hearing this for many years, one time out of curiosity I ask "what makes you assume I am having sex". The response was something like "being sexual is what being a woman is about". To me that spoke of objectification of women. That this person viewed women as sex objects even though this person described herself as MTF.

Humans are sexual, so sexual feelings do come into play. I am not saying it doesn't. It just seemed this was getting out there in the relm of fantasy and I does make me wonder abotu some people's motivations.

What I find missing is the relationship aspect. How much do you love that person? What about concerns about the time being right? What about that fear that it might be painful? Are these things girls never think about before the first time?

It seems to be that sex is far more personal than to be detached and talked about as the act alone. It is something that guys generally have little problem doing.

I am reminded of something I once heard someone who had SRS say a few years after her surgery. She said before SRS you think about sex and think that once you have SRS you would sleep with any guy you can, but after SRS your perception changes. That things are more personal and you lose such cavilier attitudes toward sex.

I tend to think there is a good deal of truth in that.

[Guest Amethyst]

Sex doesn't even factor in to why I'm getting SRS. Sure I'm curious about it and fantasizing about what it will be like but honestly I have no intention of having sex post op with anyone but my wife so a lot of it is just that, fantasy. The reason I'm going for SRS is just so I can feel comfortable in my own body and be physically what I already am in mind and soul. I see it as fixing a birth defect. I think the reason we fantasize about it so much is because losing one's virginity is something all girls fantasize about. Sex is such a physical thing and should be an expression of who we are inside and speaking personally sex has always felt so wrong and awkward to me that it almost feels as it didn't count. My real first time will be when I physically match who I am inside.

[Guest tiffany_marie]

Lizzie you need to move to my area. You would have guys lined up for a girl like you. Mud runs every weekend, trucks so full of beer cans that they can't hold anymore. We also have dirt tracks everywhere and they run 3 nights a week. NASCAR t-shirts are daily work wear. Even the girls wear their Carhart Camo coats to work. Welcome to the ozarks. Lol!

Jamie

I can vouch for every bit of the above.....

Wish I could say otherwise

[Guest N. Jane]

.... makes me wonder how many go into having SRS for sex.

HE!! YEA!

I was 24, it's part of life, it's part of the total package. It's as close as you can ever get to having everything the way it SHOULD have been from the beginning!

[Guest Hayley]

I know this is such an old topic, though everyone seems to be enjoying it, why not I? I think about post srs sex very often! The complication is that i'm married to the love of my life whom I never want to give up. With that in mind, i'll never get the chance I absolutely crave!! My wife and I will be relegated to just strap ons and the like. She being straight and myself bi, it'll be even more difficult since she's very much a prude and it will take the rest of her lifetime for her to come to terms with lesbian sex. I am not, I suspect ever going to enjoy sex at all.

[Guest Emily H]

Looks like I arrived here a little late... buttt

As much as I love the fantasy of the actual penetration, what I really enjoy is the idea of me giving him oral...Oh the things I would do, making him feel good would make me feel sooo good.

And, as far as the rest of the night...Hm, I honestly have never really thought of it. A fun night together doing things, small things, playful but romantic. What some of you said before, lobster, steak dinners...sounds a little too classy for my tastes. How about a playful romp through the local park, a nice swim at the lake, tease him a bit in the water, until he gives me a look, i give him the same look back, and he carries me someplace private, in his arms, kissing each other passionately...

Some day, maybe.

[Guest LuRay]

Its nothing that crosses my mind to be honest, if I wasn't with my partner, I wouldn't be actively looking for anyone now or in the future.

Put it this way, peoples personal space is about a 1 meter invisible bubble around them. Mine is about 10 meters, I dont really like others near me.

[Guest AlyTheGreatAngel]

I forgot to mention Im a classy chick so it must be something classy;D!!!