Clothing Confusion

[Guest Jon aka Rachel]

Hello everyone

So I just have something I am curious if anyone else has ever felt. I know I feel like a female inside but today I noticed as I had to wear a suit for a presentation witch when well I might add. But anyway I noticed while wearing the suit I took on more male caricaturists and had more confidence than usual this is something I have noticed before. I don’t know if maybe it is my full male mode coming out or what. I do know I have never gotten to go full girl mode and when I have been in dress I have often been so worried that someone would find me that I feel I have never been able to just feel how I would feel. I also don’t have any just daily women’s clothing yet just some more occasional ware. I am a little worried at what all this may mean. Originally I felt that the clothing was all important but after I came out to myself it went away and it is more about just being me but this just feels off the suit mixed with the lack of ever getting to go all girl and the lack to feel like I need to wear clothing after coming out to myself. I was just wondering if anyone else had similar feelings.

I will probably talk to a GT about this when I get one but I am not sure how long that will be and was just curious if perhaps anyone else ever felt these things.

Thanks

Rachel Marie

[Guest AlyTheGreatAngel]

Dont worry about it.....its normal.

[Guest SometimesErica]

I think most of us have two personae. We create a male persona early on to fit in and we often become comfortable in that. This doesn't mean that we aren't comfortable as a woman. For me, I developed my male persona so well that I have lived quite well there for 40 years. However, when I started to let the woman inside of me blossom I have been amazed at the things I notice in myself that are different. Clothes is part of what pulls out my femininity, but definitely not the only thing. Anyhow, it is not weird for you to feel that sense of confidence when you put on your suit. It is the role that you have learned to play well.

Erica

[Guest]

Hi Rachel,

Yes, it happens. For me, stress is a Kathleen killer. The last few days have been intense, and, tonight, I'm wondering where she went. Early to bed! beauty rest is the key (I hope)...

Love, Kat

[Guest Kimburly]

That feeling of confidence comes around when I know I'm looking good. That's a whole lot easier to accomplish in guy mode, but I've managed to get there a couple of times in Kim's clothes as well.

Carrying a headload of stress makes me feel more aggro, but saps confidence. Spiffing myself up immensely!

[Guest Kimburly]

HELPS immensely, I tried to say! (bonehead)

[Guest MorganM]

I can't speak for others, but I know what you mean. I'm a big believer in confidence derived from looking good (or how I think a male is supposed to look). I've had nagging gender identity issues ever since I was around four years old. The way I dealt with it was just to escalate my male dressing. My family moved to Manhattan when I was twelve, so dressing up wasn't out of place. Throughout my teens I became a major shopaholic. Going to private school meant I had to adhere to the dress code, so I took that to the upper limits; I dressed pretty much like a little Wall Street investment banker I *NEVER* dressed causally because I felt very, very uncomfortable with how I perceived myself when I did. The most causal I would ever dress would be a polo shirt and jeans (when lounging around the house); I never, ever wore a t-shirt throughout my teens. This helped me immensely in developing a male image, but it couldn't really suppress certain feminine desires. I had a lot of rebellious periods where I would wear skinny designer girl jeans (justifying it to myself by thinking they fit me better since I'm uber skinny), I wore light nail polish, and I had more pink shirts than Susan Komen. But yeah, I think dressing well in male mode helps to suppress certain feelings and feel more confident to a certain extent.

tl;dr they don't call it a 'power suit' for nothing.

[gennee]

Kira, it happened to me when I came out to myself. After a while I sensed that my feelings ran deeper than wearing clothing. Now, six years later, I dress much of the time in feminine mode. I am much more comfortable with who I am. What you experienced is normal.

Gennee