Coming Out Letter For Work

[Guest MonikaC]

So for the meeting that I will be having in EXACTLY TWO WEEKS!!!! HR wants me to give letters for all the employees to read and then have a Q&A session with them.

Well, here is the letter that I plan on giving my boss who will then give it to HR who will then give it back to me. In other words it will probably end up sounding nothing like this, but this is what I plan on giving him.

As some of you may have noticed, things have been changing about me recently. Well, there is a reason for that. For about the past 7 months I have been seeing a therapist to deal with some intensely personal issues. As much as I would like to keep these issues personal, the changes in my life that need to happen will force this out into the public eye.

The therapist that I have been seeing is a Gender Therapist, and I have been seeing her because I have a disorder called Gender Identity Disorder. This disorder comes when a person is born with a gender in the mind that doesn't match the gender of the body. As much as I wish there to be a way to change the mind to match the body, there is no known way to do that. Therefore I am in the process of changing my body to match my mind.

My gender is something I've known to be wrong with me for as long as I can remember. I have just never had the courage nor the means to undertake this process, until now. Starting on April 18th, I will be presenting myself as female. I will be changing my hair, my name and the way I dress, among other things, to match my inner gender.

I want you to know how difficult this is for me personally. Being in such a public position and undertaking this change is not a decision that I have made lightly. Rather it is the result of countless hours of therapy, personal thought and discussion with those close with me.

I will still be the same person you have always known. My expectations of you as employees will not change.

What will change is that going forward, I would prefer if you were to call me by my new name of Jamie, and use female pronouns when referring to me. I know that we have worked together for some time and changing how you refer to me may take some getting used to, but I appreciate your effort.

There may be a time that you have additional questions about what this means, or you may have people, whether customers or co-workers, ask you questions about me and my transition. I would appreciate if any questions were directed to myself, Jason, or HR directly as to cut down on any rumors that may arise as a result of this.

Any thoughts?

[Guest tiffany_marie]

Very well done letter if I may so... wish you nothing but the best, have a feeling you will do great!

On another note... so you are going with Jamie eh instead of Monika? That might take some getting used to girl

[Guest MonikaC]

Oops.. forgot to change that before I put it up here!

Yeah, I'll be going as Jamie. After talking with my Mom about things, that was what she was going to name me if I were born a girl. So while I like Monika, I think Jamie will be a good fit.

[JenniferB]

I hope everything works out Jamie. The part that concerns me isn't your co-workers as much as the customers you have to deal with. Other members here have had no problems with customers because there was already a relationship established. I hope this is the same for you. I am glad you are comfortable with answering questions that may arise. This will help alleviate concerns that those you come in contact with may have. If there are no flames to put out or you can find ways to resolve them, you should be good to go. I don't know your whole situation and your relationships so I can't give a more informed advice. I know there are others here who see more than I do.

Good Luck. Let's hope this goes smoothly. It will be a huge burden taken off your shoulders, but also a risk. I really want to hear what happens. It's going to be helpful to others who are going through the same process.

BTW I think your message is very good and sincere. I bet you will be accepted by your co-workers, especially if you have already gained their respect. You already have mine.

Jenny

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

M/J:

Honey, this is simply THE BEST comin' out letter this gal has EVER seen and that's the plain TRUTH!

Would ... not ... change ... a ... THING! Like, why would you?

By the way, I way like your chosen name. It way suits you!

Lacey

[Guest Besomyka]

The letter, if I received it, would read very well. I share the trepidation regarding your clients, but you suggest a sensible way to deal with it. I like the way you make the issue personal for everyone involved rather than some general thing. The rhetoric of your letter is quite good!

But here's the serious thing... Jamie? That is a much better name! Seriously!

I mean, I figure you're come to terms with it, but I'm looking at your photo and comparing and... yeah. I read Jaime rather than Monica. There could be some spelling options for you: Jayme, Jaymi, Jaimi, Jaimy... not sure which reads in print more feminine. Jaymi has my vote.

But still, that phoenitic... aces

I wish you nothing but the best! Good luck!