After My Family Stopped Speaking To Me

[Guest Anna_SF]

My family stopped speaking to me in August of last year. Now that I've dealt with their reaction I don't really feel like I want any sort of recolcillation. They are very negative people and 7 months with no negativity and finding myself able to deal with life, I don't really think I want them back. If their therapist wants to arrange a meeting I will likely put it off a few months/weeks and then just not return her calls.

Funny how things work out.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Anna,

It's great to get as much negativity out of your life as possible. It's too bad that family ties have to be broken to do it, but you've got yourself to worry about first. I just hope that there are some links still open to them, because if any of them truly love you, they may eventually realize it and try to re-connect, so at least check it out if that does happen. But if nobody does, or if they try a 3rd party, I'm with you. Love should be straight out and honest and personal, not proxied.

Hugz

Chloë

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Yes

Their problem not yours. Just put off any meeting by saying you simply don't want to meet with them right now! That is the honest truth. But don't say you are locking the door. That will satisfy your therapist.

And it can be better to just go ahead and reestablish your life - stress-free and as your real self.

Lizzy

[Guest Mina89]

I'm finding this to be true more and more after my family started the silent treatment a few months ago. I still have to get over the anger though, then I can go on without them.

-Valerie

[Guest]

Hi Anna,

It's sad to lose your family - but, like many families, it wasn't love that was lost. You're now free to build your own family - people who do care about each other - a loving family instead.

My family is fiercely competitive - it's like a pack of wolves with no alpha to keep things in check. So, to avoid the bloodshed, I've let most of my family go as well. I keep hoping that the fighting will end, but it's truly doubtful. They'll never know love as I know it - it's sad!

Anna, you're here - you have a new family now - it's a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Love, Kat

[Guest Elizabeth K]

We have a gender dysphoria condition and we are probably born this way. Why do our families hate us so! aughhhhhhh

It's like your brown eyed family rejecting you because you have blue eyes.

Makes me want to cry.

lizzy

[JJ]

It is amazing what a pervasive influence even one negative person can have on your life and it is indeed better to live without those influences. But life is utterly unpredictable -some of those people may grow and change so as has been suggested it's best not to burn bridges-just to cross them and not look back. certainly you have the right, even the duty to yourself to deny any request from THEIR therapist as long as their attitudes haven't changed with an explanation that it isn't in the interest of your emotional health at this time. Their therapist isn't there to help you.

In the meantime the world is filled with people who CAN love and accept -who are seeking others to form new families as it were. The hard part is finding them. But they are out there.

May you find a life filled with better people than those you have left behind.

Hugs

John