So Being Called A Woman Is Really Getting To Me

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

ok so now I'm not feeling so great. I went out yesterday and got specifically called a woman a couple of times (other than that I don't know how people were reading me coz there was nothing to indicate either way). So I'm doing something wrong. I was dressed as a guy...my partner commented that I was acting in guy mode...I've got a couple of ideas what the problem might have been but I haven't worked out how to fix them yet.

Usually people don't talk about me to give me a label so it's not so in my face whatever they're thinking of me but someone decided to help me and told someone to 'let this woman get past' and then the taxi driver commented on 'I've never seen a woman driver manoeuvre that well' when I got my chair up the ramp and into the right place to be secured into the car with no hassle.

Maybe it's coz that was bothering me so much but it was also really getting to me every time my partner and son used my name or said 'she' which I usually deal with ok. I can't ask them to change that...it's just not practical on so many levels right now so I don't know what my problem is.

I guess it's just brought home to me how uncomfortable I am. It's like this physical recoiling inside when I'm classified as a woman. I wish it was as easy to work out what I AM as it is to work out what I'm NOT.

There's no point to this post...I just needed to tell someone who actually gets it.

On a good note though I bought a pack of boxers and a guy t-shirt and jacket and it was no big deal (but it felt like a big deal in a good way)...well at least until I got home and my son tried to unpack everything we'd bought including the boxers from the bag in front of my mum! She wasn't thrilled with the t-shirt...she would have made a really big issue if she'd seen those!

And guys I need to ask some advice.

I have to carry a bag to have my communication device in (I'm mute and this is my way to communicate with everyone other than my family so it has to be accessible which it isn't if I put it in my pocket or in a bag on the back of the chair). How can I do this and not have it look like a handbag even if the bag its self isn't handbag style? I also can't put my wallet and phone in my pocket coz when you're in a wheelchair that doesn't work out so well so again I have the problem of how to carry them without having something that looks like a handbag. It's ok if I'm wearing my coat coz that has a pocket they can go in but that doesn't work when the weather's warm.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi,

Quick suggestion on what to carry your things in - a briefcase. Dark color, scuffed a little, maybe. Softsided may work, but hard sided has more of a male look. Or an obvious looking flight bag. I have one from AOPA (aircraft owners and pilots association), logo, zippered, small handles, and shoulder strap - which I never use. Don't use a canvas tote bag especially with appliques on it(lol!)

Hugz

Chloë

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Cool, thanks for the idea Chloe.