Revised Letter To Employees

[Guest MonikaC]

After submitting my letter to my boss, who then submitted it to HR who then submitted it to our legal department, this is the letter that I will be giving our employees. The paragraph that is highlighted HR wants to take out, but is leaving it up to me. What do you all think? Is the message still clear enough without that paragraph?

Also, HR added the two definitions on the bottom. I would personally perfer to not have the term "transgender" and it's definition in my letter for a couple reasons. One, I intentionally avoided using any trans wording because there is a certain stereotype associated with those words, especially with teenage boys (the majority of my staff). Two, it goes into things that do not apply to me. I am not "cross-dressing or otherwise gender non-conforming." I was basically told that I didn't have a choice about having it in the letter so I relented, but I still don't like it.

Anyway, Here's the letter for your enjoyment!

Dear Store Employees,

As some of you may have noticed, things have been changing about me recently. Well, there is a reason for that. For about the past 7 months I have been working through some intensely personal issues regarding my gender. As much as I would like to keep these issues personal, the changes in my life that need to happen will force this out into the public eye.

The therapist that I have been seeing is a Gender Therapist, and I have been seeing her because I have a disorder called Gender Identity Disorder. This disorder comes when a person is born with a gender in the mind that doesn't match the gender of the body. As much as I wish there to be a way to change the mind to match the body, there is no known way to do that. Therefore I am in the process of changing my body to match my mind.

My gender is something I've known to be wrong with me for as long as I can remember. I have just never had the courage nor the means to undertake this process, until now. Starting on April 18th, I will be presenting myself as female. I will be changing my hair, my name and the way I dress, among other things, to match my inner gender.

I want you to know how difficult this is for me personally. Being in such a public position and undertaking this change is not a decision that I have made lightly. Rather it is the result of countless hours of therapy, personal thought and discussion with those close with me.

I will still be the same person, store manager, and leader you have always known and worked with. My expectations of you as employees will not change.

What will change is that going forward, I am asking that you refer to me by my new name Jamie, and use female pronouns (she/her) when referring to me. I know that we have worked together for some time and changing how you refer to me may take some getting used to, but I appreciate your effort.

As this transition may be new to you, I would like to provide each of you with some definitions and general facts about my life change to help provide some insight and education surrounding my life change.

Transgender – A broad range of people who experience and/or express their gender differently from what most people expect – either in terms of expressing a gender that does not match the sex listed on their original birth certificate (i.e., designates sex at birth), or physically changing their sex. It is an umbrella term that includes people who are transsexual, cross-dressing or otherwise gender non-conforming. Not all people who consider themselves (or who may be considered by others as) transgender undergo a gender transition.

Gender Identity – The term "gender identity," distinct for the term "sexual orientation," refers to a person's innate, deeply felt psychological identification as male or female, which may or may not correspond to the person’s body or designated sex at birth (meaning what sex was originally listed on a person's birth certificate).

Our company includes "gender identity" in its harassment policy to clarify that discrimination against transgender individuals is prohibited. This policy is consistent with our workplace philosphy that all employees should be treated fairly and with respect.

There may be a time that you have additional questions about what this means, or you may have people, whether customers or co-workers, ask you questions about me and my transition. I would appreciate if any questions were directed to myself, our district manager, or HR directly as to cut down on any rumors that may arise as a result of this.

[Guest JaniceW]

I think the highlighted paragraph could be there or not without much change in the spirit of the letter. Overall the letter is very good and provides the information the employees need to have without crossing into anything personal.

[Guest Besomyka]

I didn't think I would, but I find myself agreeing with HR with regards to the highlighted paragraph. I side with purely rhetorical reasons, though. I think it takes away from the paragraph following it, and it answers a hypothetical question that may or may not be asked to you or the HR department.

If it's important for you to explain to everyone then keep it in, but I don't think it's needed in this context. It is something you can explain to those people that really care about your situation.

I am both envious and terrified on your behalf for getting to this point! I wish you the best of luck!

[Guest chngnwnd]

HR may have reservations about that paragraph due to privacy concerns since it deals with persoanl medical information. I do not think they are asking for reasons other than their professional code of ethics. I agree, you could keep it or not and the letter is fine.

hugs

Bobbi

[Guest Emily Ray]

I like the paragraph because it allows you to counter the cold definitions at the end with your exact issue.

Huggs

Emily

[Carolyn Marie]

Monika, I think the letter is good either way; with or without that paragraph. I don't have a problem with it, and I will mention therapy in my own presentation to our staff, although it's not going to be a major point. But leaving it out doesn't diminish the rest of the letter.

I wish you all the luck in the world, Monika.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[JJ]

Monika, the letter is very good either way. How you decide should be a personal preference and what you feel comfortable with. This is about you.

It is good that your HR has made such a clear firm statement about their stand on discrimination

All the very best in this! I know it will be huge relief when it is done

Hugs

John

[Guest NadineB]

When I wrote my coming out letter, I avoided giving personal information. With the help of my therapist I came to the conclusion that boundaries need to be set and I just informed them that I was transgendered (not transexual, sexual gives it a bad rap) I also tried to avoid explaining myself or my reasons for my changes. I also added that I would be open to discuss it with anyone but my family life and medical information were off limits.

I think leaving the high lighted section out you might have the option of talking to more people in person. Very good letter though. I wish you all the best.

Luv Nadine

[Guest JazzySmurf]

Hi :-)

I wish you the best in this process. When the day comes for you to tell the people there, I pray that they embrace you as much as we have embraced you here at Laura's Playground. :-)

Have a wonderful day.

Heather

[Guest Shari]

Monika,

I agree with the others, the letter is okay either way. Seeing this scares me because I know I will be dealing with many of the same issues in a few months. I hope this goes well for you.

Hugs,

Shari