Pet Peeve Sitting Nxt To Transgender Girl At Bar

[Guest Krisina]

Okay. Here I am doing the best to be myself and also not be read others and who do I sit next to but a local transgender girl who asks me if I get a chance to get out much and recommends getting longer hair etc. This is coming from someone who doesn't work to blend in 5'11 and wears high heels and advertises in craigs list.

Everyone tells me I pass etc etc.

I'm working hard to blend in with CIS girls. This girl knew what to look for in any case, (reminder notice to myself, do not sit next to other transgender girls who are not transitioning at the moment). It will draw attention to myself. But she was nice she gave me her number, she struggles and can't transition because of work. I will probably give her a call. I told her about the local transgender support group that is in town too!

Krisina

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This is common.

Being outed by other TGirls or by crossdressers is one of the most aggravating things we face. That is why people here on Laura's playground need to understand the protocol is to NOT approach a transperson, unless you already know them.

There is nothing worse than being with a person who absolutely makes no effort to pass (YES THEY ARE OUT THERE) and who would have people questioning even a cis-women that may be sitting next to them. DANG

I may sound 'elitist' but please consider this. I am not out to advertise I am a transperson. I am just myself and I want the courtesy every other person deserves. If I don't know you - leave me alone!

BUT

I have to mention this exception. If you go into a club or bar, or are at a function where there are transpeople et al present, you should expect to be 'read.'

AND

Don't be discouraged if you apparently are 'read' by another transperson or a CDer. There is a certain trans-radar we have that the general community does not have. But being read sure irritates the hell outta ya, does it not!

Lizzy

[Guest ShannonA23]

This is common.

Being outed by other TGirls or by crossdressers is one of the most aggravating things we face. That is why people here on Laura's playground need to understand the protocol is to NOT approach a transperson, unless you already know them.

There is nothing worse than being with a person who absolutely makes no effort to pass (YES THEY ARE OUT THERE) and who would have people questioning even a cis-women that may be sitting next to them. DANG

I may sound 'elitist' but please consider this. I am not out to advertise I am a transperson. I am just myself and I want the courtesy every other person deserves. If I don't know you - leave me alone!

Lizzy

Oh how I hate that.

[Sally]

We are who we are and if having someone else read who we are is troubling then it is something that we need to work on.

In my rather unpopular opinion there is too much working to blend in - our basic problem is that we were born women - now we are fixing that - what is the need to learn to be what you have always been - let go of your former character, lose the costume and the male trappings will fade without any conscious effort.

I admire the fact that instead of blasting this woman for outing you, you offered her some support.

While it may irritate us I do believe that you handled it in the best way.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Krisina,

There is also that she may have been really trying to find someone to reach out to and you were that person. I know from personal experience that when looking for a kindred spirit that my radar was especially tuned. You may well be her saving grace.

<3

Amy

[Drea]

have to mention this exception. If you go into a club or bar, or are at a function where there are transpeople et al present, you should expect to be 'read.'

Don't be discouraged if you apparently are 'read' by another transperson or a CDer. There is a certain trans-radar we have that the general community does not have.

Very true on both accounts.

I would also add that non-trans folk who are trans aware also are more likely to read trans folk. Thus to fight to create awareness to help trans folk is a double edged sword as it increases how many people are likely to read you.

Trans folk in pairs or groups tend to be much easier to spot than when solo.

[Guest Ann Onymous]

The reference to craigs also could be an indicator that they were/are NOT LOOKING to blend in. The reality is that there are some who dress up solely for the purposes of satisfying a particular element of the community sex trade. They could also be someone who has no desire for surgery and simply likes playing dress up on occasion.

I don't do a lot of the bar scene, but the trans population tends to give themselves away when I have seen them come into a room catering to the gay or lesbian population. On more than one occasion, I have seen a small group come in that was clearly overdressed for the room. It creates the same sort of awkward attention that a couple of upper-class prom-queen types would generate if they went into a dive located in the ghetto part of town.

[Guest Chantress]

In response to Ann...

I am a bit candid and honest so before I post this here I want to make it clear that I am not out to hurt any feelings. I am a cis girl. I have no problem with trans people. My ex roommate is trans and my boyfriend is as well. My ex roommate (a FTM ) is friends with an MTF and she would come over quite frequently. I am a jeans and t shirt type of girl. At home I am most often in my jammies and that is just the way I am. She is very self conscious, which I understand. She was constantly driving me crazy because she would talk about how she was more feminine than I was because she dresses up and looks "pretty". Finally I just told her that she really makes herself stand out as trans by the way she dresses. She got really mad at me and started yelling. I told her that I didnt mean to hurt her feelings but I felt the need to be honest. It didnt make a difference but I felt I said something that she needed to hear.

[Guest Ann Onymous]

Chantress, I don't see an issue with what you said...sometimes people need to be hit over the head with the figurative 2x4 in order to grasp the broader picture.

For me, my medical condition was never about being able to be 'pretty' or to try and 'out-feminine' a natal woman. And being a lipstick lesbian was NEVER in the cards for me even when I was out being a baby a small levee in high school. I could not even tell you the last time I even WORE a dress. I've owned a few in my lifetime, but they just aren't 'me.' One would be more apt to find me wearing the same sort of comfortable clothes that it sounds like you tend to lounge in...

[Guest Krisina]

Thanks for all the feedback and especially Elizabeth K

She had her Trans Radar on. She might be looking for someone to reach out to, that is good, then she needs to get into a support group and also join some forums. That is if she wants to. Her add in Craigslist is for hooking up for sex with guys and she had said she couldn't get her ears pierced because of work, maybe it's construction etc.

When I think of it after having some sleep, it is annoying to have had someone talking to me about this transgender stuff with others nearby in earshot who could hear it. I asked the owner a question about one of the special events coming up. The owner was saying we should come out to it and how we both looked great. I thought the owner of the gay bar was reading me and so I had said I had laser done on my face. The reaction, I don't think the owner realized about my face about being transgendered, but I could be wrong. As far as someone else giving me suggestions for wigs, well... I spent over an hour trying on over 12 to 15 wigs before I decided on this one with my spouse by my side and I know what looks good on me. I looked at them with a lady who has alopecia and has a wig salon for cancer patients, and for people with things like alopecia.

I don't want to talk to people about transgender issues when I am out in a public place unless it is a trans group meeting with a lot of trans people. I was at the bar and she asked me a lot of questions. How often do I get out, do I have trouble getting out. She didn't know about the support groups, she isn't on any online forums for transgender, she goes out with high heels despite being 5'11. I am doing a lot of flats shoes to keep my height normal and not standing out at 5'10. She was asking me about shoe size, telling me I should try a longer wig, what about blonde, maybe we could go out shopping or I could go over to her place sometime and try some of her wigs, am I submissive or dominant, where am I going with all of this. Maybe I could have nipped the trans talk in the bud but I don't like to be outed even in a gay bar. I work hard to be like anyone else. Heck with my laser treatment my spouse said before I went out after having added a little bit of concealer in a few small areas like upper lip and around the eyes, a little on the side of the face that I didn't need foundation. Even my therapist tells me I do a great job and that I pass, my posture etc etc ditto for my support group.

Being with others who either have trouble blending in or don't want to blend in draws unwanted attention my way. It might sound bad or elitist, but I just want to blend in and look like any other woman sexy looking or average depending on the situation. I can look sexy without being someone who will be read in a crowd. I hope so anyway!

Krisina

[Flint]

Yea I'd never like to talk about it in public.

and Drea that is one reason I sort of don't want people to be aware of trans stuff. I just want to be read as a male not specifically a trans male. But on the other hand I want people to be aware so that people are accepted. Problem is people being aware doesn't always mean accepted.

[Guest Ann Onymous]

she goes out with high heels despite being 5'11. I am doing a lot of flats shoes to keep my height normal and not standing out at 5'10.

While not appropriate at all times, even tall natal women will wear heels at times. During my affiliation with a major Division I program, I have had numerous occasions where players who were over 6'2" and normally tower over me towered even more because they were wearing heels. At 5'11", I have often been the short chick in the group. Tall women exist and not all of them wear flats...now admittedly, there are also some of those players who you could tell were being sort of directed by the program to wear something outside of their comfort zone (although even still, you could tell they were thankful they did not take a scholarship to a certain close-minded private school a little further north up I-35).

[JJ]

First I think the woman is bitter and angry and envious and the comments were made intentionally to distress you. Under the guise of friendliness of course so it would sting even more and you would sit through it. What ever her reasons for not being able to transition she seems to want to make sure that those who can don't enjoy what she can't have. perhaps the heels are just way of acting out more of that anger. Of course someone like that has an extra keen radar.

The other comment that seems to me to hit the nail on the head is the overdressing. After years of denial and dreaming I think there is a tendency to lose perspective at first. Maybe it is a stage and everything "feminine" is such a rush, such a dream coming true it can almost become a parody. Eventually this drive to out feminine the women around seems to die down and clothing becomes just a part of daily life and no longer a proclimation. All understandable but it does create situations that are awkward

As for blending-a very good goal if that is your nature. We all really ultimately want to live just like anyone else of our gender. Not over the top or playing a role-just living. There are certainly cis women who overdress and frankly they aren't well accepted either because it seems to be saying that they are somehow better than the room so to speak-just as there are those who live in a T-shirt or jeans. Both are no less women for their attire, but the overdressed woman will always get more scrutiny and disapproval. At least in my experience living among women and hearing them for half a century.

We guys do the same thing backwards sort of. Become all macho. Out guy the guys. Human nature when we feel insecure.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I for one do not appreciate your critical analysis of this other trans lady because it is coming across as elitest. Going by what you've said, this girl obviously doesn't have a good support network. She saw what she perceived to be another T-girl at the bar and was looking to connect at what I'd perceive to be a friendship level. The craigslist ad..hey..whatever floats her boat. If that's what she wants to do, then more power to her. But the asking of a bazillion questions, she was just looking to connect and share experiences. Sorry that was off-putting to you but I'd hope you could see it from her perspective of someone who may be just starting out and finding someone who to her looks like a pro at this whole girl thing.

So she's tall and likes to wear heels. Big deal.

So she told you to try a longer wig. or a blonde wig. Big deal. You could have (perhaps you did) told her that you did try on a blonde wig and you decided that it didn't look good with your skin tone.

I know it's not your (or ours for that matter) obligation to be Suzy SupportGroup any time you're out and you're approached by another trans girl who looks like she needs a little direction but a little compassion and understanding can go a long way.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

In response to Ann...

I am a bit candid and honest so before I post this here I want to make it clear that I am not out to hurt any feelings. I am a cis girl. I have no problem with trans people. My ex roommate is trans and my boyfriend is as well. My ex roommate (a FTM ) is friends with an MTF and she would come over quite frequently. I am a jeans and t shirt type of girl. At home I am most often in my jammies and that is just the way I am. She is very self conscious, which I understand. She was constantly driving me crazy because she would talk about how she was more feminine than I was because she dresses up and looks "pretty". Finally I just told her that she really makes herself stand out as trans by the way she dresses. She got really mad at me and started yelling. I told her that I didnt mean to hurt her feelings but I felt the need to be honest. It didnt make a difference but I felt I said something that she needed to hear.

Yes I agree. When I went full time I was relieved to be able to just be a normal woman as far as it came to just dressing as yourself. My summer 'go to supermarket' attire was just the same as all other women - nice teeshirt, shorts, thong sandals... and my hair back in a ponytail and no makeup (except a touch of lipstick - just me). Its good just to be what you are and not be seen as anything but just another woman out and about.

But I think it has been the HRT (very good to me) and my long hair (which I keep petty and curled) that helps. When an MTF is in the androgynous stage, she takes a bit more work - or at least she feel it is required, to be seen as your true self, when actually it is 90% 'attitude."

Peoples - don't overdo it. Just be yourself. You have the rest of your life to go 'glamor' - and only do so when it is appropriate!

Just my opinion - yes! GRIN (But do make some effort - be a credit to your gender)

Lizzy

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Oops - please don't be too snippy here.

Some of our sisters are not socialized in the community and are still learning the protocol. It's the ones who WON'T make an effort and seem to ENJOY setting up situations of being outed, and then DRAG YOU IN, that bug me.

But sometimes its just not knowing any better.

Coincidentally, I just had this conversation with someone at our church. Our church is 100% supportive and I have no clue as to how many members know I am not a natal born woman. There is a post-op woman there whom has been active for 11 years in the church - and was very kind to us at the beginning, when we first started attending. She knows the protocol and actually, other than a few words casually exchanged in private, we don't usually talk TS issues, so everything is cool.

But we did have a long and private talk today, There is another member, one who cross dresses mostly, sometimes in one persona. sometimes in the other. I thought she was a crossdresser but two Sundays ago she approached us en femme and starting taking about how her son thought we were natal women until she told him we were transsexual 'like her.' That in itself was fine, other than I would have preferred she had NOT told her son we were anything but the women he thought we were.

But

Dee Jay and I were talking to another person at the time - a visitor from a sister church - who DID NOT know we were trans - DANG! She outed us instantly by saying "... how good we pass, because her son was fooled.,"

Now what kinda behavior is that? I wanted to kill her on the spot! First of all we aren't ever trying to 'pass' and we certainly weren't trying to 'fool' anyone. This person had no clue of what Dee Jay and I are, we are 'transitioned women' not some people trying to pass. This person 'males up' and puts away her female' clothes... and goes to work all week as a male. We, on the other hand, just live our lives as we are.

Of course she meant it as a compliment, as it would have pleased her, if someone had said that to her.

So today, I was asking our post-op friend to speak to this person and gently explain what happened was distressing to us. We are too 'new' in the church community to stir anything up.

And all three of us agreed this cross dressing person is probably trans like the three of us, but has no socialization in our ways within the TS community.

When we first met her, we asked if she would like to go with us to a PFLAG meeting, but she was a bit homophobic, and seemingly distrusting of the GLBT community. She apparently doesn't want to be seen as homosexual, which of course is not what it is all about. Sigh.

So what do you do? Its almost as if customized reaction is required, which varies according to the other person. We 'play it by ear.' Hopefully we won't get outed like that again. I hated it!

But you always want to reach out to your sisters - it can be a delicate thing.

And someday I will talk to you here about TUG BOAT ANNIE - our supposed LGBT moderator - as masculine a TGirl as you can imagine - and in your face with advice - and sometimes her advice is totally bad, but she won't listen to anyone else's opinion.

Then I might explain our TGirl friend Jane - whom is not really transsexual. Her favorite tactic is to explain how she can kill you 50 ways (Former Marine) - auggggggh. NEVER makes any effort to look female - and enjoys the inevitable confrontation.

No one ever said our community is without detractors - especially outside Laura's Playground.

Sorry for venting, this was just on my mind.

Lizzy

[Guest Krisina]

I'm not being elitist, I used the word elitist in one of my followup posts like Lizzy (Elizibeth K) did. I don't think Lizzy was being elitist either. It's just that people who are in the transgender community who see another transgender person should not be outing them or discussing in general conversation transgender stuff others can overhear. Compliment them on their hair or clothes and maybe leave it at that. Notice them and appreciate what you see. Can you imagine if someone who had transitioned and was living in stealth and was out with friends or co workers or a date had someone come up and start talking to them with others within earshot? She was doing a very good job dressing and dressing sexy to get the attention just like she has in her craigslist personal sex ad looking to hook up with men. Having a collection of hi heels like 4 or 5 inches etc is high for 5'11. She has tons of clothing from the sounds of it too, skirts. She was wearing a jacket with some fur too. I had talked to her about hair colors and why I wasn't interested in blonde etc etc. I actually researched this stuff too and about not going to far from your own hair color, how blonde may sound nice but to do with the color in the face etc. I do my research. I get the feeling she wanted to dress up with me. I do get the feeling she isn't out either. It can be hard but again people have to be discreet if approaching someone in public not to out them. There are ways it can be done discretely and things you can say like you have radar that others in the community don't have because they are trans and saying it quietly. I have read numerous posts on here about if you see someone and you think they are transgendered, notice, observe appreciate and don't bring it up with them. It can be quite distressing, like for me when I have everyone telling me about my feminine face eyes, legs, voice etc etc and passing, heck I even had a woman the night before say I was gorgeous several times, offered to buy me a drink and gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug at bar closing. Her and her friend were clueless of me being transgendered. So being outed or read when I'm feeling so good I DON'T like or appreciate.

Krisina

[Guest kennerzzz]

This is coming from someone who doesn't work to blend in 5'11 and wears high heels...

I'm 6'1" and sometimes leave the house in 5 3/4" platforms.

Have a nice day

[Guest audrey michelle]

I'm not being elitist, I used the word elitist in one of my followup posts like Lizzy (Elizibeth K) did. I don't think Lizzy was being elitist either. It's just that people who are in the transgender community who see another transgender person should not be outing them or discussing in general conversation transgender stuff others can overhear. Compliment them on their hair or clothes and maybe leave it at that. Notice them and appreciate what you see. Can you imagine if someone who had transitioned and was living in stealth and was out with friends or co workers or a date had someone come up and start talking to them with others within earshot? She was doing a very good job dressing and dressing sexy to get the attention just like she has in her craigslist personal sex ad looking to hook up with men. Having a collection of hi heels like 4 or 5 inches etc is high for 5'11. She has tons of clothing from the sounds of it too, skirts. She was wearing a jacket with some fur too. I had talked to her about hair colors and why I wasn't interested in blonde etc etc. I actually researched this stuff too and about not going to far from your own hair color, how blonde may sound nice but to do with the color in the face etc. I do my research. I get the feeling she wanted to dress up with me. I do get the feeling she isn't out either. It can be hard but again people have to be discreet if approaching someone in public not to out them. There are ways it can be done discretely and things you can say like you have radar that others in the community don't have because they are trans and saying it quietly. I have read numerous posts on here about if you see someone and you think they are transgendered, notice, observe appreciate and don't bring it up with them. It can be quite distressing, like for me when I have everyone telling me about my feminine face eyes, legs, voice etc etc and passing, heck I even had a woman the night before say I was gorgeous several times, offered to buy me a drink and gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug at bar closing. Her and her friend were clueless of me being transgendered. So being outed or read when I'm feeling so good I DON'T like or appreciate.

Krisina

i agree that her basically coming to you and basically reading you was uncalled for...it could leave someone in your position doubting their self or losing that built up confidence. all that i can agree with. but the other stuff? not so much. the impression that i got was that she needed to try and blend in more...by not wearing heels since shes already "too tall" and to not advertise herself. first of all, everyone is different...her life is her life and your life is yours. second of all, why is it soo important to blendblendblend...why not just be happy and be safe and just go about your life...why try to subject yourself to "rules of looking and living like every other normal woman out there." thats just going to be too much and days of migraines for some people, i think. and third of all, genetic females who happen to be tall CAN wear heels, haha...models for example? theyre generally taller women and wear heels...not just on runways either. besides, you were saying how her critiquing your style and choices [her telling you for a longer or different colored wig or whatever would be better] was not needed...yet youre doing the same thing about her being tall and wearing heels and advertising herself. she did her critiques in person to you, sure, but its the same thing. and i dont see why mentioning the fact that she advertises herself to have sex with men was mentioned like that a few times...her body, her business

maybe next time, just excuse yourself from her company if it becomes a pet peeve or whateverr. just my input

[Guest Miss_Construe]

I'm 6'1" and sometimes leave the house in 5 3/4" platforms.

Have a nice day

Attitude girl, Rock it

I tried heels and didn't do so well. Oh well, practice .

Also, this seems to be a really touchy subject with many of us. We can sit here and guess her motives and underlying unmet needs but I don't think it is going to get us anywhere. I agree that these conversations should be kept private but I also know that there was a learning curve with all of these protocols for me. I am still learning about what is okay and what isn't. I also am learning how to deal with social situations all over again. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. We are all teenagers again, but this time we have past lives from which to draw experiences from. We all have shared pain that unites us. My plan is that if I find myself in that situation is to politely inform the culprit of the proper protocol. If that fails to work I shall excuse myself and walk away. I think we all can learn from this experience and prepare for similar situations to come.

I love you all and hope the thick emotions in this thread are just a display of our mutual respect for one another, an ability to disagree and continue as friends.

<3

Amy

[Guest Shari]

I wish this conversation was happening in person. I am really interested in this. I have an opinion, but, it seems to change with each new reply (that only reflects my inexperience).

Thank you Krisina for bringing it up. It's important to understand our unique etiquette challenges.

Shari

[Guest Krisina]

I tried heels and didn't do so well. Oh well, practice .

Also, this seems to be a really touchy subject with many of us. We can sit here and guess her motives and underlying unmet needs but I don't think it is going to get us anywhere. I agree that these conversations should be kept private but I also know that there was a learning curve with all of these protocols for me. I am still learning about what is okay and what isn't. I also am learning how to deal with social situations all over again. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. We are all teenagers again, but this time we have past lives from which to draw experiences from. We all have shared pain that unites us. My plan is that if I find myself in that situation is to politely inform the culprit of the proper protocol. If that fails to work I shall excuse myself and walk away. I think we all can learn from this experience and prepare for similar situations to come.

I love you all and hope the thick emotions in this thread are just a display of our mutual respect for one another, an ability to disagree and continue as friends.

<3

Amy

I think Amy - Miss_Construe hit it on the mark!

If I sounded like I was on a high horse etc I am sorry. It is all a learning curve for me too!

I'm 6'1" and sometimes leave the house in 5 3/4" platforms.

Have a nice day

And yes you are right kennerzzz you can be tall, like 6'1 and wear high heels.

Heck I love high heels and have some too I must admit, I do love them lol. If you've got it flaunt it. Clubs are a good place to flaunt the assets and that IS where I saw her. But you don

t have to be just in a club to wear them. You can do or be or wear whatever you want because as Lady Ga Ga says "Baby You Were Born This Way" I went to a transgender support group with high heel sandles and a cute tunic once. I was told it was sexy but would probably be better for the summer time or going out at night, or with tights, tights which was my original idea. But I sooo loved the look.

So be who you want to be and live the way you want to live. I know I'VE LIVED too many years LIVING IN FEAR of what others thought of me. Eee Gads I've created a monster with my posting on this subject opening my mouth :-( I will have to think more about others around me because they are going through some of things I am going through in different stages or in different ways. I will have to be more empathetic. I didn't say anything to the woman about her high heels or how she was dressed btw. Crap me and my open and closed mouth :-(

Krisina

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Grin

At the risk of changing the direction of the thread...

I am full time - have been for just over a year. I learned early on that an almost 6'-2" 'Amazon" like me hardly any looks when wearing flats, and a rare look or two in modest heels (1 1/2" usually).

BUT

I look grand in higher heels with my long long legs, just very very unusual - so... higher heels ONLY where I am already known. DANG, hate that.

But - I rather not ever worry about drawing attention. So moderation prevails.

Heels are okay on you women under 6'-0" - my opinion.

Lizzy

[Guest Karen K]

Well, this has been confusing to me.

I am gaining experience at being "myself", little by little. A day here and a day there, whenever I can get them. All on my own, I might add.

I have heard that there is a LGBT friendly bar/night club nearby, and I have further heard that there is a number of trans-girls that hang out there. I have been planning to go to this bar, in hopes of finding new friends and receiving some sort of support.

Having read the posts here, I get the feeling that I shouldn't bring up the fact that I am trans or, by asking advice, imply that they are trans, or even ask if we could be friends due to our similarity?

What good would that be? How am I to make contacts? I have found no support groups where I live and this club, that I had hopes for, now, according to what I read, would not be the ideal for making contacts?

This does not make sense to me. Don't you want to help those who are not as far along as you, if they ask? Isn't that why this site exists? If we can ask for and receive advice here, why not out there? I mean, by all means I would be discrete, but if I were to ask for help from someone who odviously has more experience than I, why would a trans-person be offended?

I do understand, that if you have succeeded in your transition and are now blending quite well that you don't want to be "outed" publicly in any way. If, however, you visit a bar that is LGBT friendly and it is known that trans-people frequent this club, why are you shocked to have a trans-person approach you?

Have I gotten the wrong vibe here? I would not want to be guilty of "outing" a sister even if I have innocent intentions. Perhaps, I should wait for one of them to approach me? But this dosen't seem like a good idea either. Please tell me I have gotten this wrong, but it seems as if this is all about protecting your identity, which I am all for, and to hell with everyone else. How should I approach a transwoman? Do I have to slip her a note, like in grade school? What is the etiquet here?

I tell you this thread has done nothing to bolster my confidence nor has it encouraged me to seek support.

Laura Jane

[Sally]

I am sorry that this is confusing to you as a matter of fact it is confusing to me - we all seek help, support and friendship but apparently the greatest sin that we can commit is to out another trans person.

That is why I hardly ever talk to anyone about anything important - small talk is usually safe as long as I avoid religion, politics and weather.

We sometimes are our own greatest enemies - part of our isolation is indeed self imposed.

Love ya,

Sally