Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Came Out To John Today


Guest Guest 1

Recommended Posts

Guest John Chiv

I have been going to a pharmacy closer to my doctor's and most of the staff there had some experience with MTFs but not FTMs but I was very open and it was a good education experience for them and they treated me well because I was very matter-of-fact. The plus there was they knew John and saw John pre T and since I have been on T.

Recently, I needed to transfer my prescription to a pharmacy closer to me and this is a place which is also small, locally owned, very conservative and has my old name. I was concerned. The old ladies at the counter are nice but this is something I was not sure they would be able to handle. Everyone in town already knows yet I needed to come out yet again.

There was no rational basis to my fear. And I decided to confront that irrational voice.

I walked in, very calmly explained that I needed to update my information but wanted to make sure that that they could provide my medicine and wanted to know the cost. I asked to speak to a pharmacist. Out walks a tall, good looking fellow who is very professional and I very calmly explain what I need and why. He smiles and says,"we are here to provide for your care, not to judge," and "I will have the office manager update your information if that makes you more comfortable and there will be no problems." He thanked me for being proud and open and then I noticed his name tag: John.

I smiled, shook his hand and said if I need anything, I think I can manage to remember that name. He looked at the name on the profile form and laughed.

It was no big deal, respect and proper presentation gets results.

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

.

That's wonderful, John....

And you handled it beautifully!

Yes, many do these things while nervous and with glances...

But, like you did, with a nonchalance and a "matter of fact" manner, everyone is at ease and things happen like your experience....

Good stuff, Hon!

Huggs

Dee Jay

Link to comment
Guest Karen K

John,

You indeed handled that well. So well in fact you have inspired me. I received a new perscription from my endo yesterday, tomorrow I will go down to CVS as myself to turn in this perscrition. I want all to know in the past, when I picked up my pills, the pharmasist always did a double take: the pills then me, the pills again and again me. So, perhaps showing up as the real me and a little explanation may be in order.

Laura Jane

Link to comment
Guest John Chiv

Laura Jane,

And tomorrow, the only response that pharmacist better give you is, thank you for chosing CVS, m'am. Thank you for your kind words.

John

Link to comment

I think that's the best approach John. It seems we are harder on ourselves than other people most of the time. When I was at the optometrist yesterday and talking to the clerk. I was nervous of an older woman behind us who was looking at glasses. We were talking loud enough for the woman to hear, but she didn't care. She actually became friendlier. She said she wasn't in a rush and she would wait until I was finished (comparing sunglasses).

Of course it isn't always going to be like this, but sometimes our fear is our own worst enemy.

Jenny

Link to comment
Guest Miss_Construe

John,

This is so awesome. Of course anyone who judges you would just find themselves lacking in comparison. ;)

Laura Jane,

You may also get a "my name is ******* in case you have any questions" with a smile.

<3 Always,

Amy

Link to comment
Guest John Chiv

Jenny,

You nailed it. We never know until we try. And we never know how someone is going to react. What if our confronting our fear frees someone else to open up?

John

Link to comment
Guest John Chiv

John,

This is so awesome. Of course anyone who judges you would just find themselves lacking in comparison. ;)

<3 Always,

Amy

Amy,

You are a darling.

John

Link to comment
Guest CariadsCarrot

You handled that awesomely John and I'm glad you got the respect you deserve in return. You're a wonderful role model and I'll think of the example you set when I talk to the mental health team tomorrow and the doctor on thursday.

Gabe

Link to comment

What else were we to expect?

No one can be put of when presented with the information in such a matter of fact way especially when presented with your usual style and ease.

John, you are so naturally a man that no one doubts it even when you tell them that you are FTM - I think they sort of doubt it.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
  • Admin

John, you make me proud. Nuff said. :welldone:

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 242 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Ashley0616
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,094
    • Most Online
      8,356

    gizgizgizzie
    Newest Member
    gizgizgizzie
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Angelo christoper
      Angelo christoper
      (38 years old)
    2. Joslynn
      Joslynn
      (61 years old)
    3. Kaltia_Atlas
      Kaltia_Atlas
    4. Rika_Lil
      Rika_Lil
      (40 years old)
    5. Summerluv
      Summerluv
      (19 years old)
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, giz! We’re so happy you found us. You’ll find lots of information and many wonderful people here. Each of us is unique but we all share similarities as well. Look around, ask questions and join in where you feel comfortable!
    • Heather Shay
      NPR tiny desk winner 2024 - REALLY ENJOYED - simple song with wonderful melody, retro sound, reminds me of Billy Preston....  
    • Heather Shay
      What is happiness for you?
    • Birdie
      Funny.....   The day-centre transportation director told me yesterday morning that I was to receive an award, my picture on the website, etc... for having won the billiards tournament (I knew better).   Later that afternoon he returns to "shake my hand" and tell me, "thanks for participating."   I could have told him that was all I would receive earlier. I'm not well liked by management. 
    • Heather Shay
      Feelings are joyful as happiness spreads.
    • Heather Shay
      The Power of Feeling our Feelings: a story of joy and pain https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1683051267452-AAZVC5ZJZ5E2XRBOOPRE/unsplash-image-rOKbmUbcOVg.jpg Does “joy” feel like a distant memory or an intangible experience for you?  Are you on the journey of seeking more joy in your life? Maybe you’ve found this blog, as in your healing journey, “more joy” is the beacon that gets you through the tough times, and you are fearlessly on the quest to learn more about trauma, anxiety and depression and how to support a more joyous life. If that sounds like you, then welcome, this post is for you, and if that doesn’t feel like you that’s okay too, I invite you to stay for a story. Let me tell you a story about a woman named Ellie who came to therapy with the goal of “wanting to feel more joy + lightness in her life”. She sat on the couch across from me…she was so eternally wise, and self-aware. She had worked so hard to get to this place of understanding herself, but she still felt stuck and nowhere closer to her joyful, fulfilled life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684948947151-PH97YWGUXYF7JJT25K1I/image-asset.jpeg She came back session after session, explaining her struggles and breaking down the gritty details of who she was, until one day I said, I paused her again in attempts to help her connect more with her emotional experience, For the first time in her therapy experience, Ellie was still, she took a moment to check inside and find her sadness…she was really being with her emotional experience. Sometimes as humans we can be aware of feelings, but struggle to FEEL the feelings, tuning in to our emotions and letting them take up space. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684949533886-EOI9VPKBEQ2EZHERTYT1/image-asset.jpeg All of a sudden she felt her throat getting tighter, her heart sinking, and tears welling up in her eyes. She said, as she began to cry, “ yeah I feel so sad because…” I so ever gently interrupted her again “hey Ellie it’s okay, can we just let the sadness be there, it's SO important why, and also its SO important to just feel, so just feel sad my dear”. Ellie, hearing this, felt her shoulders drop and soften in surrender, and spent the next minute or so letting her tears flow, crying, and being guided by me, to find support in her own breath and the pillows and blankets on the couch. This somatic release, was exactly what she needed. She cried, while I held space, providing compassionate support and company, until Ellie felt a huge sense of relief wash over her body and exclaimed “woah that felt so cathartic, I feel lighter”.  I cracked a very stereotypical nerdy therapist joke and Ellie let out a HUGE chuckle, beginning  to laugh deep into her belly, and that feeling of lightness transformed into a moment of JOY! Could it be? Ellie settled into a feeling of calm after her chuckle with me and asked, “What just happened? For a moment there I felt so light and wow, I really laughed. Is that joy? How is that possible?” I then began to share a bit of on emotions…."Let me explain the connection between our pain and joy. They might be more connected than you think!” Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment, and they can motivate us to take action or change our behavior. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950220510-2BYGYE4A5XKZODNS2I0Y/image-asset.jpeg However, it is common for people to try to avoid or suppress emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear.  They may try to explain it away, finding logical and “cognitive” ways to cope with the pain…. While this may seem like a reasonable strategy to avoid discomfort, it can actually have negative consequences, including a reduced ability to feel positive emotions. Our emotions are interconnected and interdependent, they are all processed in the same areas of the brain. The neural pathways that process pain are called the nociceptive pathways. The nociceptive pathways send signals to the brain's pain center, the somatosensory cortex, which processes the sensory information and generates the experience of pain.   However, the same neural pathways that process pain can also process pleasure and joy.  This is because the somatosensory cortex does not just process sensory information related to pain; it also processes sensory information related to other physical sensations, such as touch, temperature, and pressure. When we experience pleasure and joy, these sensory signals are processed in the same way as pain signals. However, instead of activating the pain center, they activate the brain's pleasure center. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950865903-TQRJXIIXD3SHELV065QA/image-asset.jpeg This means that the same sensory channels in the brain can be activated by both pain and pleasure, but the experience we have depends on which part of the brain is activated. When the pain center is activated, we experience pain, and when the pleasure center is activated, we experience pleasure and joy. Pain and joy are actually closely related to each other, cousins if you will! In other words, our emotional experiences are not isolated events, but rather a complex and dynamic system of interrelated experiences. When we try to avoid or suppress our perceived negative emotions, we are essentially shutting down a part of our emotional experience. This can create a "numbing" effect, where we feel less overall emotion, both positive and negative.  This is because the brain processes emotions as a whole, so if we try to suppress painful or uncomfortable emotions, it can also reduce the intensity and richness of positive emotions. Research has shown that people who struggle to identify or express their emotions, particularly painful ones, often experience lower levels of overall emotional experience, including positive emotions. This is because our ability to experience positive emotions is dependent on our ability to process and regulate negative emotions. By suppressing negative emotions, we may be hindering our ability to fully experience positive emotions. _____________________________ So, to wrap up this short story with a nice bow… Ellie was able to FEEL into her sadness, thus allowing her to FEEL into the depths of her own experience of joy. She was activating “stuck” pain and moving through the experience, using those key areas of the brain, so her JOY was fully expressed as well. This is why….I extend an invitation for you to FEEL it all my dear, the heavy and awful, the light, and all the emotions in between. These different parts of us, make up who we are. If it feels too scary at first that's okay, maybe find a trusted friend or a therapist that can help support you in feeling safe  to express your emotions slowly, bit by bit, over time.  And If you are ready to lean into those heavier feelings, let them out, because the pain that you may be avoiding feeling, just might be the very thing you need to feel, to then welcome and unlock the feeling of JOY. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950934538-PW47TOU8LXR9AINGG53F/unsplash-image-ktPKyUs3Qjs.jpg At Integrative Psychotherapy we help clients engage in therapy so they can feel more comfortable in their skin and befriend alllll their emotions.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • LucyF
      So I have started HRT and its been almost 3 weeks. Here are the changes I have seen so far:   week 1 - Hours after I started, it felt like a fog has lifted and I felt so much better about everything. Almost like I can now actually be happy. My skin is so less oily and so much smoother   week 2 - I have noticed that my senses seem to be more refined. I smell things I just didn't notice before. I can concentrate so much better. Its almost like going from video to and HD blue ray disc.   week 3 - ok, boobs are itching on and off and tiredness is setting in slightly. Still feel on top of the world.   Apart from that, my daughter (9 year old) is struggling at the moment. We are having open dialogue which is helping, and I am getting in touch with a child psychologist that will hopefully help.     Onwards and upwards.
    • VickySGV
      I want to hold back on this one until more solid information comes out.  The defendant is claiming it was accidental, but the Trans side is demanding a hate crime scenario which an accident would preclude.  Pardon the phrase, but as I read this folks are jumping the gun here.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.advocate.com/crime/trans-teen-jazlynn-johnson-killed   This is a tragic ruination of two young lives.  It is very sad.  May Jazlynn rest in peace.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, here's the big questions:  What does it mean to be masculine?  What does it mean to be a woman?    I've been around a lot of rule-bending in those areas.  There's all sorts of "traditional" views about what men and women do.  Men work on mechanical things, defend/protect, earn a living, play rough sports, etc.  Women cook and clean, are gentle and nurturing, value aesthetics over function, etc.   Yet, my very "masculine" industrial-manager husband cooks just as well as any Betty Crocker wannabe, and tells the bedtime stories that are most in-demand by the kids.  My GF, who is surely "ALL Girl" is a highly skilled mechanic, a street racer, was busily laying concrete while 6 months pregnant, and practices kenjutsu (Japanese sword fighting skills).  And me?  I'm AFAB but I'm infertile and I feel like I should have had a male body...yet I possess very little in the way of "manly" skills or desire to acquire them.  I'm in my boy form these days, but pretty much useless for accomplishing "boy stuff."     I think my family blew those definitions out of the water.  Yet, somehow our family structure is also religiously patriarchal....and happily so!  It'll bend your brain to try to figure that one out.    I'd say its just important to be you, do what you do best, and stick your tongue out at anybody who doesn't like it. 
    • JenniferB
      Welcome to the board gizgizgizzie! I sure can understand what dysphoria feels like. I found it stayed in my head during nearly all waking hours. Although, sometimes held in a little deeper. But it was triggered easily. I hope you can find that place you feel comfortable with yourself. This is a good place to find help as you traverse your journey.   Jennifer
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums @gizgizgizzie we have folks in your situations to talk to and share with. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...