Would You Intervene?

[Carolyn Marie]

This may never happen to any of us, and I actually hope it doesn't. But...have you thought about what you would do, what your reaction would be, if you as a trans person, out in the world as yourself, saw another trans person being harassed or attacked by peeps?

Would you intervene? Would you just call the police? Would you run away? Where would you draw the line?

Please, no judgments here about the responses. This isn't a scientific poll, I'm not saying what responses would be "good" or "bad." Just curious.

I have thought about this a lot. My reaction would be colored by my own training and experience as a police officer. I would certainly call the police, and I have 3 local departments on speed dial on my cell. I would probably intervene, to the point of getting physically involved, if someone were being physically attacked. That's just me - I was trained to take affirmative action, and its still a part of my mental makeup. If it were verbal harassment, I would move in close and provide support - a physical presence. Attackers, even multiple ones, would hesitate if more than one defender were involved.

What would you do?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Of course I would intervene - first verbally, then by whatever means necessary.

I would try the cool head approach... but that would not have worked, say at the Baltimore McD beating.

I would then use a woman's tactic of screaming my head off to get them to quit.

The best tactic is to summon a crowd of witnesses.

Only if the other person was in physical danger of getting severely beaten or killed would I jump in to stop.

But I am not a small woman, and have size and weight on my side, plus I know a bit how to fight - but I also know my physical strength is drastically reduced now, so I would use a chair or whatever is handy.

If it is a deadly attack, and I had no choice - I would use the gun I have in my purse, or the push-knife I carry with my cell phone. I refuse to be kicked to death, if I can fight back. BUT deadly force is a last resort tactic. I would not threaten, I would pull the gun and shoot to kill, knowing it would otherwise be wrested from me and I would die.

I doubt I would flee, unless it was me being harassed - then I would run like hell.

Lizzy

[Guest John Chiv]

The first thing I would do is call the police. And as for intervening, it would depend on the situation, and what other back up I have around me. When it is happening, how many people are there and the chances of me stopping the violence. If I am outnumbered and they have weapons, I would not be of assistance to that person or myself if I was myself dead or beat up. Also alerting them to the fact that someone is intervening may escalate their behavior.

You are a cop, trained in how to handle this situation. I am trained but not as a cop. But I have other and similar training.

After I called the police, I would deal with this on a situation to situation basis. There is no way that I would walk away and in the safest way possible, I would let them know that this person is not alone.

There are too many variations and my response would depend on the context. In the McDonald's situation, I would call the police and speak up and I would not have let those employees just watch and not say anything.

Also, regardless of the fact that this person is trans, I would do this for any person. I have in the past and it has made the difference. I am not tall and a body builder but I don't intimidate easily and I don't back away. Simply calling the police and letting people know they are being watched has made a big difference in my neighborhood and town. The local cops have always told me be safe but they also commend me on my being a good citizen. Following the law, even when we are helping someone is essential. Being a hero is great, being foolish isn't.

John

[Guest N. Jane]

As a redhead with a firey Irish temper I lack the common sense gene for self-preservation. In a crisis I dive in without thinking and later realize "Gee, that was STUPID!" Twice I have stood toe to toe with men who outweigh me by 80 pounds, were mad as he!!, and would like nothing better than to deck me for interfering but I have this LOOK that says "Hit me and you're history!" - neither one took the swing.

When someone's safety is at stake, I am going to wade in - it's my nature. If the assailants had weapons, I would still get involved but a LOT more carefully.

Someone else is going to have to call the police because I will be busy sticking my nose in LOL!

[Guest Doodlen]

Honestly, I if there were no weapons I probably wouldn't even remember to call the police. I'm a confrontational person. I have a big mouth, so I'd say something first and then probably get physically involved. Which isn't a good idea, I'm not that strong, but that's my first reaction.

If they had a gun or something I'd call the police first.

[Guest EvenClose]

To me honestly it wouldn't matter if someone who is getting beat up is trans or not. I just couldn't stand by and let someone take a beating like that. Though if they were trans It would probably make me a couple degrees more irritated as to where I wouldn't just try to break it up. Might have to get a good smack in on some idiots like that.

What can I say? Im a little bitter when it comes to down right hatred for no reason. Guess it don't help when these kinda people have been forcing you to fight for the past almost 30 years. Its a sad world sometimes.

[Guest Mina89]

In principle, I would love to say I would intervene.

In reality, I'm a shy, skittish, and non-confrontational person. It depends entirely on how fuzzy my judgement was at the moment whether I'd intervene or run and call the police or for someone else to help.

There were so many fights I was forced into in high school. I learned that I'm really good at either running away or going crazy and seriously hurting someone beyond the scope of a simple beating. I tend to go with the former by instinct.

-Valerie

[Guest briannatx]

i would call the police, calmly describe the situation

then i would get involved. weapon or no weapon, i

am a firm believer in standing up for what's right.

brianna

[Guest Michael Heather]

That's a good question. I guess I will never know for sure until I've been in a similar situation, but I do have a feeling of how I would react.

First off I'd hopefully remember to call the police, but those obvious patterns of behaviour don't always show up in my brain. (There's a risk someone would later ask me "Why didn't you call for help??" and my only reaction would be to smile sheepishly and say something along the lines of "Oops, I forgot." XD)

What I'd do next depends on the situation. If they are three or less I'd get physically involved, living with a brother that loves violent games has taught me to take a beating as well as how to fight dirty. If they're more than that I'd only get verbally involved, and hopefully I'd have enough sense in me to snap a few photos of them with my phone, so I could show the police if the assaliants ran off before they arrived.

If there are weapons I'd rather not get involved physically, except maybe if the person assaulted seemed light enough for me to carry if necessary. Then I'd try to grab them and run.

[Guest Risu]

Trans or not I would step in. Having been bullied all my life and previosuly attacked by an ex co-worker I would have a lot to take out on someone harassing another person in public.

By nature I am a lover, not a fighter. I would call the police first. Then depending on what is going on I might grab a chair, as Lizzy said lol. I am going to try and look into self defense classes soon. I really have little to no experience actually having to fight and chances are I would just get beaten to a pulp while hopefully, the other person ran away? Regardless I was always the quiet one who just took it and kept my head down. I am not that shy little kid anymore. I am by far more outspoken and ready to take action if I need to.

I hope I never do, but if I did I would.

[Guest Elena]

I would and have stepped in to help . My rules for intervening: first show them the 911 call being made as you approach. Second, inform them that I have specific training and am armed as well. Third would be to use whatever force was nessecary as quickly as possible. If there is a group or another party that might also participate then the initial action also needs to be as violent as possible to scare the bejeezus out of the others. I hate it beyond anything, but it is something I was forced to become very good at. Eeek, I hate even thinking about it.

Okay, gonna go play with my makeup or I'll get depressed. I'd go shopping but my truck is being loaded right now. Goddess I love being free enough now to be able to make that choice!

Cheers,

Elena

[Guest ranse]

This may never happen to any of us, and I actually hope it doesn't. But...have you thought about what you would do, what your reaction would be, if you as a trans person, out in the world as yourself, saw another trans person being harassed or attacked by peeps?

Would you intervene? Would you just call the police? Would you run away? Where would you draw the line?

Please, no judgments here about the responses. This isn't a scientific poll, I'm not saying what responses would be "good" or "bad." Just curious.

I have thought about this a lot. My reaction would be colored by my own training and experience as a police officer. I would certainly call the police, and I have 3 local departments on speed dial on my cell. I would probably intervene, to the point of getting physically involved, if someone were being physically attacked. That's just me - I was trained to take affirmative action, and its still a part of my mental makeup. If it were verbal harassment, I would move in close and provide support - a physical presence. Attackers, even multiple ones, would hesitate if more than one defender were involved.

What would you do?

Carolyn Marie

I would do the same as you have described above.

[~Nova~]

911 or yell for someone to call, it doesn't have to be me.

Verbally tell them to stop

Step in.

If attacked show weapon

If still attacked, use weapon.

All that will happen in a blink of an eye with adrenalin pumping from everyone. The most important thing you can do is stay calm and use your brain. It may come time to use force, but most situations can be diffused with a simple show of force.

Nova 

[Guest Robin Winter]

I don't own a cell phone, so calling the police first isn't likely to be possible, but if it were I would do that. Would I intervene? Absolutely.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Uh........

I'm an ex-cop and a combat veteran of the Vietnam war.....

I carry a cell phone and weapons in my purse.....

I have thought about this a lot. My reaction would be colored by my own training and experience as a police officer. I would certainly call the police, and I have 3 local departments on speed dial on my cell. I would probably intervene, to the point of getting physically involved, if someone were being physically attacked. That's just me - I was trained to take affirmative action, and its still a part of my mental makeup. If it were verbal harassment, I would move in close and provide support - a physical presence. Attackers, even multiple ones, would hesitate if more than one defender were involved.

I agree, Carolyn...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Michaele]

Yep, pretty much as Carolyn says.

I carry a cell phone and a company blackberry along with my concealed carry permit and S&W 40

I worked as a reserve deputy sheriff in California.

Also a combat veteran.

Heck yes I'd get involved, Call the cops, try to disarm the situation verbally, intervene physically, deadly force (if necessary) last.

Big Hugs

Shelley

[Guest kelise]

I have a trans friend who recently went through something like this, although non-violently. She was at the check-out at Target when a woman an her daughter came running out of the ladies room screaming there was a man in there. A female manager was called, who went in to investigate. My friend (who passes extremely well) finished checking out, then went in out of curiosity, and saw what she suspected. An unfortunately low-passability trans woman, clearly dressed as a female, was by the sinks talking to the manager. The manager wasn't being mean, and my friend said she seemed very unsure about what to do. It seemed the manager knew enough to figure out what was going on and was trying to find the most sensitive way to handle it, but wasn't really educated enough to know what to do. The manager knew she had to say something because of the ruckus the other woman had made, but didn't know what to say or to whom. So she sheepishly questioned the trans woman about her gender, and the trans woman was clearly humiliated. My friend said she really wanted to step in and do something, but couldn't think of what to do. After the confrontation, the trans woman left the store. My friend met her in the parking lot and made sure to pay her a compliment to try and lift her spirits, but unfortunately didn't remember to tell her about our Orlando support groups.

We all want to say we step in and intervene, but in the heat of the moment....

What the manager SHOULD have done, was simply check the bathroom, ask the trans woman if she'd seen any men in there, then taken the other woman aside and asked if the "man" she speaks of did anything lewd or menacing, or if their mere presence prompted her reaction. If worded properly, odds are the woman's first-reaction response will be something like "He was just standing there in the Lady's room!", at which point the manager should explain, that after investigating the restroom, all she found was a woman suffering from transgenderism, who was merely utilizing the facility to relieve herself and did not pose any more threat to her or her daughter than any other woman who may have been in there. The woman probably wouldn't like that answer, but tough noogies. Would she receive any compassion if she freaked out like that over a black woman entering the restroom? Or a little person? Or a disabled person?

[Guest Robin Winter]

I have a trans friend who recently went through something like this, although non-violently. She was at the check-out at Target when a woman an her daughter came running out of the ladies room screaming there was a man in there. A female manager was called, who went in to investigate. My friend (who passes extremely well) finished checking out, then went in out of curiosity, and saw what she suspected. An unfortunately low-passability trans woman, clearly dressed as a female, was by the sinks talking to the manager. The manager wasn't being mean, and my friend said she seemed very unsure about what to do. It seemed the manager knew enough to figure out what was going on and was trying to find the most sensitive way to handle it, but wasn't really educated enough to know what to do. The manager knew she had to say something because of the ruckus the other woman had made, but didn't know what to say or to whom. So she sheepishly questioned the trans woman about her gender, and the trans woman was clearly humiliated. My friend said she really wanted to step in and do something, but couldn't think of what to do. After the confrontation, the trans woman left the store. My friend met her in the parking lot and made sure to pay her a compliment to try and lift her spirits, but unfortunately didn't remember to tell her about our Orlando support groups.

We all want to say we step in and intervene, but in the heat of the moment....

What the manager SHOULD have done, was simply check the bathroom, ask the trans woman if she'd seen any men in there, then taken the other woman aside and asked if the "man" she speaks of did anything lewd or menacing, or if their mere presence prompted her reaction. If worded properly, odds are the woman's first-reaction response will be something like "He was just standing there in the Lady's room!", at which point the manager should explain, that after investigating the restroom, all she found was a woman suffering from transgenderism, who was merely utilizing the facility to relieve herself and did not pose any more threat to her or her daughter than any other woman who may have been in there. The woman probably wouldn't like that answer, but tough noogies. Would she receive any compassion if she freaked out like that over a black woman entering the restroom? Or a little person? Or a disabled person?

Hehe, you should teach classes or something. That would have been the perfect way to handle it.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Transgendered or not

I will and have intervened.

Depending upon the circumstances, the police are called.

A trans person being harassed, a gay person being harassed, a cis-gendered person being harassed gets my attention and quick.

I do not hesitate.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Miss_Construe]

I guess it would depend on the day.

Quiet Amy (almost never seen now): Call the police then try to provide a physical presence. Avoid a physical confrontation at almost all costs but still protect the victim.

Amy: Provide an assertive presence who tries to be a voice of reason and a support for the individual being harassed.

The Dark Amy (bad day or I REALLY don't like the treatment of my new friend, though she posts here she has never targeted anyone here and is not often seen): Provide a more aggressive supporting role at first, then make myself the target. Fight verbally or physically until I don't feel threatened anymore. Probably forget there is another trans individual to take care of at first but then provide a nurturing support for the individual. Then call the police. Yes, I know this probably isn't the best idea, but when you have needed to be this aggressive your entire life so others can have a half way decent life it kind of becomes second nature.

<3

Amy

[Guest Mina89]

There was one really important thing I learned in the self-defense classes I used to be involved in teaching (I'm a 3rd razryad Kandidat Master in Combat Sambo).

Absent combat, police, or other serious firearms training (i.e. more than safety courses), never pull a weapon you aren't prepared to die with. It can quickly escalate a bad situation a deadly situation. People no longer think rationally when you point a gun at them, and there's never been any such thing as a sure fight.

I would take a few broken bones and lost teeth over someone else's bullet.

-Valerie

[Guest kelise]

Hehe, you should teach classes or something. That would have been the perfect way to handle it.

Actually, I do. Thank you!

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Kairi,

Maybe I should take your class.

<3

Amy

[Flint]

Hard question. Especially if you've never had police training or anything.

It's easy for all of us to say on here "Yes absolutely" but if it actually happened? It could be a completely different matter.

So I'll say, I like to think I'd act a 'hero' but the reality of my situation probably wouldn't allow me to. I know I'd call the police. But as for actually intervening myself...like I said...I like to think I would. But I know deep down that is more about me wanting to be a hero. I'm also aware physically for me it probably wouldn't be appropriate.

[JJ]

It is my nature so I know I would intervene. Oddly in emergencies or life threatening, or dangerous situations I become very calm and think very clearly. I don't react emotionally till later.

Even as a kid I stood up for the handicapped kids when anyone tried to pick on them. I just can't stand to see anyone bullied or picked on for any reason. I would call the police first and then I would wade in. Verbally first. Which has always worked for me since grade school.

Johnny