Goodbye To Another Family Member

[~Nova~]

Last night I told my sister. Her reaction was cold and uncaring. I think my other sister told her and then told her not to tell me she knew, um yeah right. I knew she would be cold, just not ice cube. Having mentally prepared myself for this it was really just a formality. Now it's done.

I'm telling my last family member today, my brother. I'm pretty sure he won't care and will stand beside me. He has always been there for me, always. And I've made some doozy mistakes. He is the last because it will hurt the most if he leaves.

I have one person left, my roommate (sister as she calls us)

Deep breath

Nova

[Sally]

Dear Nova,

I understand how painful it is to lose the relationships of family members but do not write them off completely - sometimes they do come around after an initial shock or cold period.

I hope that your brother will stand by you - it seems that he was the closest to you anyway.

Always remember that you have the support of your extended family here at Laura's - it does help.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Nova:

Look at what Sally said above. Don't write 'em off as gone forever. They may come back to ou eventually. Your brother? Well, first thing I'd say to him when you break the news is to remember him how much he means to you and how much you care about him. That kind of lead-in has a way of "hitting home" and preparing him for your news.

Like Sally said, you've got us. Yeah, it's not the same. But, it IS significant and important.

Good luck!

Lacey

[~Nova~]

I'm one trying to explain myself and persuade people to accept me. I'm telling them I'm TS, and that's it. Accept, don't accept, completely their choice.

I was told that he accepts by my father, yet we speak infrequent at best we used to speak 5 times a day.

I cried for weeks with my first sister.

I expected exactly what I got from my second sister.

I'll tell my brother and whatever happens happens.

At the end of the day I go home, not to them, so it really doesn't matter how they feel. I'm over all of it. I'm going to be happy despite them.

Nova

[Guest Foosnark]

I think sometimes people need time to process this sort of news. Some people deal with it easily and others need a while to collect themselves but will be strong supporters once they have.

In my family, first my younger sibling came out as a lesbian to me and my parents. Then I, in what was kind of a jerk move I realize, used that as a kind of bulldozer to clear the way to "come out" to them about my religion. A few years later my sibling came out as FtM. And about a month ago (not much after I worked it out myself), I brought up my gender fluidity.

Each of those times, my mom has seemed disturbed or thrown off at first... without ever actually being angry or hostile about it. And each time she's come back to be a champion. My dad the former hippie, who seems the most casual and accepting, still messes up pronouns for my brother and mom corrects him.

[~Nova~]

Oh, thank you all for your support. It means A LOT to me

Nova

[Guest Emily Ray]

Remember in life we can have two families. The ones we are born into and the ones we choose. In many cases the second turns out to be more important for a variety of reasons. I am happy to be apart of your extended family here at Laura's.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Julie T]

Nova

Honey, you see te different reactions we seem to provoke with our families? I mean the stories here on Laura's Playground. The bottom line, I think, is we still do it, come out to them, because we have no choice. I suggest just accept what happens, and let it sit. People change. Angie's sister who hated her at first when Angie started her transitioning, apparently saw what a woman Angie really is, and that the choice must have been the right one, and came around?

We must never burn bridges, unless that person betrays a trust. Sometimes there is no reconciling with that, but many times people do see the error of their thinking, and the wrongness of their action. But you must be true to yourself.

Julie

[~Nova~]

Nova

Honey, you see te different reactions we seem to provoke with our families? I mean the stories here on Laura's Playground. The bottom line, I think, is we still do it, come out to them, because we have no choice. I suggest just accept what happens, and let it sit. People change. Angie's sister who hated her at first when Angie started her transitioning, apparently saw what a woman Angie really is, and that the choice must have been the right one, and came around?

We must never burn bridges, unless that person betrays a trust. Sometimes there is no reconciling with that, but many times people do see the error of their thinking, and the wrongness of their action. But you must be true to yourself.

Julie

I have tried to be cordial and not say anything that would be construed as mean or offending. I have pretty much essentially just walked away. It is up to them to decide if they want o be in my life. I will not chase them, I will not beg them and I certainly will not stop for them. Evenvwith all the hate and pain I have felt, I am happier in my life than I ever have been. I no longer have to be confined to a room or the darkness to be who I am. I am Nova, I have always been Nova, but now she walks amongst the masses.

Emily,

Yes my love, you are family, you all are.

Thank you all, I wish I could hug everyone of you. (((((Laura's)))))

Nova

[Guest Julie T]

Nova?

Welcome to the world at last, Ms Nova Lynn. I am proud to know you.

Julie

[~Nova~]

Nova?

Welcome to the world at last, Ms Nova Lynn. I am proud to know you.

Julie

I don't know why, but that made me cry. Not sad tears, but I feel like I'm me.

A quick story

I went to Harry Potter and was sitting with my purse on my lap. It was getting uncomfortable so I moved it aside and rubbed my hand against my skirt. I don't know why, but I thought about how much I love this skirt and how it really goes with so many blouses and shoes. It's my favorite skirt. Then I started crying. I have a favorite skirt.

In less than an hour I tell my brother. The last piece of the puzzle.

Nova

[Guest MonikaC]

Nova,

I'm sending positive vibes your way!

[~Nova~]

Update:

I thought my brother would be OK, and I was right. He asked the normal questions and didntblike some of the answers, but he was OK. I couldn't have asked for more.

And as a bonus, my father called me.

Today was good.

Nova

[Guest Stacey Sim]

Nova thats so cool ....its makes it so much easyer when we have people on our side doesnt it.

Stacey S