The Next Step On The Path

[Guest skyy]

well...i lookes like my next step is layed out for me. i need to learn the mannerisms of being a girl to the point i can live as one. until i live as a girl, i cant resieve any medical perscription of any sort. the issue is that i have no idea what i have to do to look, sound, or act feminine. i'm at a loss here. all my life i've ignored the female world and tried to pretend it wasnt there out of fear i would grow envious of what they have. now i really have no idea of where to turn, i still look way too much like a guy. i really dont know where this topic was supposed to go, sorry any help would be appreciated, i'm a tomboy by nature, so i kinda dont understand how to do this stuff. thanks

[Guest Madison_Always]

well a couple things i suggest would be to practice your voice. there are some great videos w/ tips on youtube. i recomend the ones by CandiFLA also iwould advise u to start treating yourself like the girl u r. Like moisterizing, conditioning your hair, getting rid of pimples, shaving face, legs, arm pits etc. thats what i have been doing and slowly but surely my confidence has grown.

[Guest Stef]

well...i lookes like my next step is layed out for me. i need to learn the mannerisms of being a girl to the point i can live as one. until i live as a girl, i cant resieve any medical perscription of any sort. the issue is that i have no idea what i have to do to look, sound, or act feminine. i'm at a loss here. all my life i've ignored the female world and tried to pretend it wasnt there out of fear i would grow envious of what they have. now i really have no idea of where to turn, i still look way too much like a guy. i really dont know where this topic was supposed to go, sorry any help would be appreciated, i'm a tomboy by nature, so i kinda dont understand how to do this stuff. thanks

Hi Skyy,

What part of TN are you in? I was on HRT for a year and a half before I went ft. Sounds like your dr is rather inexperienced. I know many who were on hrt long before living fulltime. You might want to look into a different dr. If you are in the middle Tn area I would be more than happy to help you out.

I would suggest going to a mall and just sitting in the center court and just watch. I used to do that and learned so much. If you have any female friends locally who are aware and accepting of everything, ask them. My friends were and still are such a huge help in assisting me to be the woman on the outside I have always been on the inside.

Stef

[Guest skyy]

Hi Skyy,

What part of TN are you in? I was on HRT for a year and a half before I went ft. Sounds like your dr is rather inexperienced. I know many who were on hrt long before living fulltime. You might want to look into a different dr. If you are in the middle Tn area I would be more than happy to help you out.

I would suggest going to a mall and just sitting in the center court and just watch. I used to do that and learned so much. If you have any female friends locally who are aware and accepting of everything, ask them. My friends were and still are such a huge help in assisting me to be the woman on the outside I have always been on the inside.

Stef

i'm from east TN, unfortunatly, its not nearly as cool as mid TN, a lot of conservitive additudes. i'm not going to be out in this area for a long time. luckily i see my mom in mid TN every once in a while, and she's cool with it, so i'll probibly practice there. btw...what does "dr" "ft" and "hrt" mean. i havent learned the appreviations yet, and thanks for the help, i'll try to look around

[Guest Sara N]

dr = doctor

hrt = hormone replacement therapy

ft = full time

[Guest Evan_J]

i'm from east TN, unfortunatly, its not nearly as cool as mid TN, a lot of conservitive additudes. i'm not going to be out in this area for a long time. luckily i see my mom in mid TN every once in a while, and she's cool with it, so i'll probibly practice there. btw...what does "dr" "ft" and "hrt" mean. i havent learned the appreviations yet, and thanks for the help, i'll try to look around

pssst-quick aside to skyy....

dr is just "doctor"

ft= "full time", dressing as and being referred to as identified gender all the time

hrt= "hormone replacement therapy", either estrogen for mtf's or testosterone for ftm's prescribed by a doctor

And Snow....

I think the sitting-observe advice could be very helpful here and the treat yourself one definately is. Somehow when you interact with yourself in your correct gender it transfers to other stuff you do. Maybe because it builds an unconscious basis?

But as you go along, even though the goal is "as feminine as you can" forgive yourself if you make slips in the beginning. We get enough mental beatings, no need to give yourself one more.

[Guest Jack Solomon]

btw...what does "dr" "ft" and "hrt" mean. i havent learned the appreviations yet, and thanks for the help, i'll try to look around

dr - doctor

ft - full time

hrt - hormone replacement therapy (Hrt is referring to the hormonal part of transition)

Fulltime is referring to going fulltime in the physical sex you are transitioning into (in your case female). However, the majority of transsexuals are not able to 'go fulltime' without taking hormones. Most therapists will give the ok to prescribe hormones without you going fulltime but instead just doing the best you can to live in the female role. In other words, if a therapist is satisfied you are taking sufficient means to present yourself as a female in your life (whether or not you are 100% perceived as one in public), they should eventually prescribe you HRT once they have sufficient proof of your long-term desire to pursue transitioning. However, many therapists vary on this point on what they consider satisfactory on your part. Thanklfully, there are many therapists out there who will write the hormone letter based on witnessing/hearing proof of long-term desire to transition by itself.

Could you give us a little information of what your therapist or doctor said? Did they just say you should live as a female first before they would okay hormones or were they more specific?

Some good things to start with towards the goal of presenting yourself as a female include:

Take little steps to make yourself more feminine or feel more feminine. Buy breast forms, find your female clothing size if you haven't already, grow out your hair so you have more to style with.

Female mannerisms are more tricky. If you study random females for a while, you'll notice that there are many ways to be female. Many females have very masculine gestures but yet they still look unmistakably female and you wouldn't perceive them for anything different. One thing you might want to do is look up human body language online and read some things about female body language and how women's body language differs from men, especially in social situations.

Solomon

[Guest Snow Angel]

And Snow....

I think the sitting-observe advice etc etc

Are you talking to me? Coz I haven't posted here yet! rofl

And sky.. you don't need to live full time as a girl before you get hormones. That's male bovine crap. I think they only require that in the UK, which I also think is stupid. Hormones help you pass. Getting clocked in Tennessee could mean your death. (Sorry, it's true. I've heard bad things about Memphis.)

I think the other, easier requirement for hormones is 3 months of talking to a therapist. When they are comfortable enough and have ruled out other mental trauma, they will green light you for hormones. They just need to know that you are sure and ready for permanent changes. I got sent to an MD and prescribed for hormones after my first Therapy visit, because I was a solid case and had no major depression or other mental strains. Talk to a gender therapist, present a strong case, and ask for hormones. Just make sure it's what you really want.

It's perfectly ok to stay in the safety of 'guy mode' while you learn to be a girl and patiently wait the years that the hormones have full effect. As long as you know it's what you truly want, because it's irreversible. That's why they require the real life test or therapy sessions before you get hormones... they want to make sure.

[Guest Evan_J]

Are you talking to me? Coz I haven't posted here yet! rofl

ROFL

Many ladies were a-swirlin' past, I got confused.

It was the perfume...uh huh...that's it.

[Guest skyy]

thanks for all the help. i think i better understand what is expected of me, i'll talk to the therapist to make sure. btw, i went the my last appointment dressed up, that was a lot of fun i felt great, and it looked natural, as if that was the way i was all along. i dont live in menphis, and your right, its a really dangerous place. but knoxville isnt very much better. i definitly wont be living as a girl until at least i'm out of high-school. a bigger issue is what i need to do to pay for the hormones, because they arent covered at all in insurence. i'm going to have to get a job.

and observing girls. i have learned to do a lot of things right. i can dress up, shave, my hair i've been growing out longer than i've admited my gender (long hair was a unconsious way of expressing my femininity), andi can do the walk. my voice needs some work, but it'll get there. btw...advice on the walk. my mom told me this trick she got from her friend who got it from her mom who was a belly-dancer. as you walk, just focus your balence in you nipples i'm serious, when i do, my hips just start swinging on their own but anyways, thanks for the help so far, you gave me the strength to stand up for myself in this medical world and do what i need to do to get my horomones.

[Guest skyy]

ok, i learned how to do the female walk. so to any MTFs, i got some advice. it might sound wierd, but yea... focus on your nipples i'm serious. if you focus your attention in keeping them steady, or just thinking about where they are on your body, your hips will loosen up and you can have swirling hips as you walk now i just got to get the voice thing down.... i know how, its just a matter of practice.

[Guest RainBird]

With me, I never pratciced or trained for this, it kind of came naturally after coming out.

I believe our feminine behaviour and body language improves over time sub-consiousely even without us being aware of it

Remember, be comfortable being yourself and take your time training and practice can help but no females mannerisms, walk or body language is 'text book', everyone is different regardless of gender, it depents on the individual.

For example, I'm extremely feminine in nature, I couldn't act like a guy if I tried lol! yet I like fishing and camping, stuff that is supposedly considered "blokey" in stereotypical (sexist) views ...yeah right!

xxoo

[Sally]

Skyy,

Continue to work on your voice and mannerisms, but remember to make them yours - people aren't robots, we all move talk and think differently. When I went to my first therapy session I was still presenting masculine (even had my trademark mustache that I had worn for 30+ years) and the first thing that she said to me was, "How have you managed to pass as a man?" I am lacking most of the secondary sex indicators for a man - no brow ridge my forehead slopes smoothly back from eyebrows into the hair line with no extended vertical plane, no wide strong chin end even my nose has the upward turn more characteristic of female - but no one has ever questioned my masculinity. People will perceive you as you present yourself to them. I was determined to be male - so I was. Now that I have realized that male just isn't me I know that I can be accepted as female just by being myself and presenting as the woman that I am. Every woman doesn't look or move like a movie star or fashion model - while you are observing mannerisms be sure to note the differences as well as the similarities. You know that you are a woman, relax and be that woman - you had to 'act' like a man, now is the time to just 'be' a woman.

Trust your inner self, Love ya,

sally

[Guest skyy]

Skyy,

Continue to work on your voice and mannerisms, but remember to make them yours - people aren't robots, we all move talk and think differently. When I went to my first therapy session I was still presenting masculine (even had my trademark mustache that I had worn for 30+ years) and the first thing that she said to me was, "How have you managed to pass as a man?" I am lacking most of the secondary sex indicators for a man - no brow ridge my forehead slopes smoothly back from eyebrows into the hair line with no extended vertical plane, no wide strong chin end even my nose has the upward turn more characteristic of female - but no one has ever questioned my masculinity. People will perceive you as you present yourself to them. I was determined to be male - so I was. Now that I have realized that male just isn't me I know that I can be accepted as female just by being myself and presenting as the woman that I am. Every woman doesn't look or move like a movie star or fashion model - while you are observing mannerisms be sure to note the differences as well as the similarities. You know that you are a woman, relax and be that woman - you had to 'act' like a man, now is the time to just 'be' a woman.

Trust your inner self, Love ya,

sally

thanks for that, love ya too i'll try to remember that i have to find my own way of being. i guess trying other ways is a way of consciously opening my unconscious to the ability to change. i had believed i was a guy so long, changing back became increadibly hard. i think i have discovered the part of me i've locked away so long, and i'm becoming the girl always was in my head, but on the outside. slowly i'm changing the frontal lobe patterns that told me how to live as a guy, and i'm allowing more of me to excape each day. thanks for reminding me not to lose site of that which i'm working so hard to get back, my heart

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Are you talking to me? Coz I haven't posted here yet! rofl

And sky.. you don't need to live full time as a girl before you get hormones. That's male bovine crap. I think they only require that in the UK, which I also think is stupid. Hormones help you pass. Getting clocked in Tennessee could mean your death. (Sorry, it's true. I've heard bad things about Memphis.)

I think the other, easier requirement for hormones is 3 months of talking to a therapist. When they are comfortable enough and have ruled out other mental trauma, they will green light you for hormones. They just need to know that you are sure and ready for permanent changes. I got sent to an MD and prescribed for hormones after my first Therapy visit, because I was a solid case and had no major depression or other mental strains. Talk to a gender therapist, present a strong case, and ask for hormones. Just make sure it's what you really want.

It's perfectly ok to stay in the safety of 'guy mode' while you learn to be a girl and patiently wait the years that the hormones have full effect. As long as you know it's what you truly want, because it's irreversible. That's why they require the real life test or therapy sessions before you get hormones... they want to make sure.

I was given the go ahead sooner than that to find a dr here at home who would supervise the hormones however I had done plenty of research into my condition and he was satisfied on that basis that I knew what I wanted and was ready to move forward. I would recommned using this wonderful internet to do some independent research into GID, hormone therapies and the like that way you can sound half reasonably intelligent when you talk to your Dr or therapist.

[Guest angie]

well...i lookes like my next step is layed out for me. i need to learn the mannerisms of being a girl to the point i can live as one. i'm a tomboy by nature, so i kinda dont understand how to do this stuff. thanks

Sweety,

Transwomen come in every variety that any woman does...Be yourself.

Watch women,study them.Find what you like and take it home and practice until it comes without

thought.You don't have to wear dresses and skirts with heels and full makeup to be a girl.

I wear jeans and womens tee's all the time with either flip flops or sandals,no makeup.

Be a tomboy,many women are...Be Yourself.The rest will fall into place.Honestly

Big Hugs and Much Luck,

Angie

[Guest nymphblossom]

OMG Skyy, I just tried your "focusing your attention on your nipples" trick- it instantly gave me the cutest little wiggle I have back problems, so anything I do to consciously swivel my hips makes my back hurt. Keeping my upper body from moving as you suggested is an effortless way to get the subtle feminine walk I have been wanting. Thank you so much!

Blossom