Mtf Date Ftm

[Guest rynae]

Now I know that some MTF would not date a FTM because of the equipment down there or that some MTF are not into men and are into women. I just wonder why there are not a whole lot of MTF and FTM together and barely none together. This is my oppinion and only guessing that sex is a part of life, but not everything and is why there are not alot of relationships between the two. A MTF that is hetrosexual such as I would enjoy being with a FTM except when it come to being in the bedroom. Some MTF would prefer the real thing over a strapon. Although that couldn't be the only reason why that aren't more relationship between the two. If it is then people must really think that sex is as important as any other ASPECTS in a relationship. Although that is just my way of thinking.

1. Why do you think that there are not alot of relationships between the two?

2. Have you heard of any relationship between the two and how did it work out?

3. If you are lesbian or hetrosexual would you see a FTM as a potential partner just by their equipment, personality, the way they present themselves, or a combinations of these things.

I would like to know your oppinion on this topic and answers.

[Guest Vixen Amber]

1. Not sure what the statistics are on it so I can't comment.

2. Last one I saw was a friend and according to a couple of close friends the FTM told the MTF not to transition, long story short the MTF is now a gay male. Of course this was shortly after a attempt at castration. They seem happy so who knows, non of my business or anyone else's.

3. If I was a lesbian I would not be with a FTM. I don't think about it much because I am happily engaged to a beautiful girl

[Guest Julie T]

Rynae

Honey I think it depends on your age, and how much sexual intimacy counts in your relationships. I won't go any further that this, yes, I know of several such relationships and I am friends with one couple.

Julie

[Guest angie]

I had an trans man as a boyfriend. I had no issue's with his equipment.

He,when we were being intimate,set limits I abide'd by as far as his

genitals were concerned.It was he who had a problem with me. Most all

trans men were butch women before transition and have a love of women,

natal women. And that (thing) between our legs that they want as badly

as most of us ladies want what is between their legs,is something they

have never had to deal with,much less want to touch,or even see it.

Now,I may hate that(thing)but it is a part of me,and as much embarrassment

and discomfort as it brings,I can't do anything about it.And most trans men

can't get beyond.It doesn't matter how feminine,how pretty,how girlie we

can be or are...For until a trans woman has the right genitals between her

legs,I do not think she stands a chance of having a successful relationship

with a trans man. That is just my experience with trans men speaking,and it

may not be how it is for all you guys out there,for some of you may be able

to take one of us girls as is...but you are a rare guy if you can. My old

boyfriend and I are still very good friends,even say we love each other,but

each knows,I don't stand a chance until I am whole and complete.

Hope that answers your question...

Angelique

[JJ]

First I want to say that I would date and have a relationship with anyone who attracts me with no concern for the equipment involved. There are aids to take care of almost any situation you can think of. And sex itself is just a small part of the time and activities that partners share.

but there are some differences that FTMs and MTFs face that sometimes actually creates communication problems between them.

This is a great article by a gender therapist who is MTF that discusses the relationships between them and the problems they face relating. It's an interesting read and has a bearing on your questions I think.

http://www.firelily....na/ftm.mtf.html

I would also have to say that for me an aspect would be that, given my choice in who I fell in love with, while I would appreciate the understanding of my life and it's challenges that an MTF would offer I would actually prefer someone who did not have gender issues because I sometimes already feel like I am smothered in gender stuff and I would prefer my partner to be a refuge from it rather than a part of it. Wouldn't stop me from loving an MTF though. There is a lot to be said for the compassion and wisdom, the strength and patience we as trans people have to develop. Perhaps the relationship would actually add a dimension of completeness that nothing else could match.

Johnny

[Guest angie]

but there are some differences that FTMs and MTFs face that sometimes actually creates communication problems between them.

Johnny

That is essentially what I said in my post.

My good friends Jon,Derek and Leigh,I get along with so well because I do respect their

back grounds, and do not attempt to flirt with them.They treat me with respect,open doors,

pull out chairs,like a true lady likes from a man.Each knows I will not invade their space,

and understand what it means to be a man.And why we are friends.

Angie

[JJ]

I think you posted yours while I was writing mine Angie. When I started my post there were no replies and when I finished mine there were several but I had to stop and do some things while I was trying to finish it. That leads to people saying the same things but I don't see that as a problem since we each have unique ways of saying it.

Besides great minds & all that

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest angie]

but I don't see that as a problem since we each have unique ways of saying it.

Besides great minds & all that

Hugs

Johnny

I totally agree sir.

Ang

[Guest Zoe_1988]

I agree with Johnn, I fell in love with a person not the equipment. I wouldn't have a problem falling for a ftm. Then again I don't get close to people too easily, but I'm working on that. Anyway, I'm not a lesbian nor straight so maybe I'm not that great of an example XD

-Zoe

[Guest angie]

I agree with Johnn, I fell in love with a person not the equipment. I wouldn't have a problem falling for a ftm. Then again I don't get close to people too easily, but I'm working on that. Anyway, I'm not a lesbian nor straight so maybe I'm not that great of an example XD

-Zoe

You didn't read the article then Zoe.

It say's FTM's,I should add,most,don't want to be flirted with,or have an interest,

in having any kind of romantic relationship with a transwoman. And that has been

my experience exactly.Once you can,if you can,breach their defenses,and just

become friends,and once they realize you aren't expecting them to woo you,or flirt

with you,or romance you,other than to act how friends like to play around with one

another,then you can be good friends with a trans man.That is my relationship with

my old boyfriend to a tee.We tease and play,hug,and give a peck on the lips when

we see each other,because we both know,it ain't going no further.We are just friends.

Angie

[Guest AiAmAngel]

Now I know that some MTF would not date a FTM because of the equipment down there or that some MTF are not into men and are into women. I just wonder why there are not a whole lot of MTF and FTM together and barely none together. This is my oppinion and only guessing that sex is a part of life, but not everything and is why there are not alot of relationships between the two. A MTF that is hetrosexual such as I would enjoy being with a FTM except when it come to being in the bedroom. Some MTF would prefer the real thing over a strapon. Although that couldn't be the only reason why that aren't more relationship between the two. If it is then people must really think that sex is as important as any other ASPECTS in a relationship. Although that is just my way of thinking.

1. Why do you think that there are not alot of relationships between the two?

2. Have you heard of any relationship between the two and how did it work out?

3. If you are lesbian or hetrosexual would you see a FTM as a potential partner just by their equipment, personality, the way they present themselves, or a combinations of these things.

I would like to know your oppinion on this topic and answers.

1. Because what I'd have to argue as the majority of women in the TG community identify as lesbian. Seriously, do you realize how many women ask about how to tell their boyfriends they're trans around here as opposed to their wives/girlfriends? Yeah.

That could also be attributed that heterosexual women have more of a reason to go stealth. While safety is a component- its simply the reality of the fact that a lot of perfectly nice, pro LGBT and human rights, non-religious fundamentalists men don't want to date/marry/have a *serious* relationship with a woman whom they discover to be transsexual (i.e. not those most of us refer to as "chasers", of which there are plenty if one wishes to date one). The real issue isn't that men will hurt us- rather they won't respect you nearly as much, will start leaving immediately after sex, and will blame all their relationship issues on you.

There's no reasoning to why this trend is more common (or at least seems to be) with men than women, its just a trend. Kind of like how women are less likely than men to dump a partner who becomes obese.

My point with all that above isn't to support stealth or deceit (that's another topic), only to point out that the reason there aren't a lot of FtM and MtF couples because a lot of heterosexual women aren't "out" to many if any people. And with... well with reason.

2. Yes. I associated with another woman online (who's youtube account was removed due to outright discrimination rather than by choice). Sorry I don't have many in real life examples (see above as to why that is ). Anyways, last I heard, they were doing fine. Both were pre/non-op I believe so.. yeah.

3. As a heterosexual woman not even near ready to settle down, a lifetime of sex confined to the use of strap-ons and various... other things isn't the MOST appealing thing the world. On an emotional level I'd have to say if I was dating this otherwise perfect man physically and mentally, I'd like to say I'd learn to deal. However, I wouldn't be okay with a guy talking about "when I used to be a girl" or "Hey, I used to wear the same size bra". If I was dating a man who told me he was trans and that was the end of it, yeah- I'd probably stay Honestly, one of the guys on here is pretty darn attractive xD

I should probably be more understanding since I'm in the exact same situation to some degree... but that'll sort itself out Karma being what it is.

Good luck

[Guest angie]

On an emotional level I'd have to say if I was dating this otherwise perfect man physically and mentally, I'd like to say I'd learn to deal. However, I wouldn't be okay with a guy talking about "when I used to be a girl" or "Hey, I used to wear the same size bra". If I was dating a man who told me he was trans and that was the end of it, yeah- I'd probably stay

Good luck

Ami,

You wouldn't find any,not one guy who would tell he once wore the same size bra as you.

And hardly any who would talk about once being a girl either once they have transitioned.

They hated their breasts like many of us hate our genitals.A transman may willingly show

you his scars,those are his badge of honor,his demonstration that he can walk around with

no shirt on,because he is a man.Just as I don't flash pictures of the old me,leave out an

old picture of my family and I,that is in my past,and the past is where it belongs. And I

am certain most trans men feel that way also.

Angelique

[Guest AiAmAngel]

Ami,

You wouldn't find any,not one guy who would tell he once wore the same size bra as you.

And hardly any who would talk about once being a girl either once they have transitioned.

They hated their breasts like many of us hate our genitals.A transman may willingly show

you his scars,those are his badge of honor,his demonstration that he can walk around with

no shirt on,because he is a man.Just as I don't flash pictures of the old me,leave out an

old picture of my family and I,that is in my past,and the past is where it belongs. And I

am certain most trans men feel that way also.

Angelique

Exactly my thoughts. I'd date a man~

[Guest Michaele]

1. I'm going to side with JJ equipment is becoming a non issue for me and this is a recent revalation. But the ammount of baggage in the form of depression, body dismorphia, and the whole slew of other transitioning issues has an excellent chance of killing any relationship and it would double for a MtF, FtM couple.

Just my opinion

Shelley

[Guest rynae]

Interesting, hetrosexual relationships are common among cisgender whereas homosexuality is more common among transexuals. Well anyway thank you for all your oppinions I sure learned a lot.

[Guest angie]

Interesting, hetrosexual relationships are common among cisgender whereas homosexuality is more common among transexuals. Well anyway thank you for all your oppinions I sure learned a lot.

We in the gender community consider it homosexuality or lesbianism if it is a transwoman

with a natal woman or another transwoman.While if it is a transwoman with a natal male,it

is being heterosexual.For it is a woman being with a man as a woman,a natural union,not a

male on male,that is a gay relationship.The same with a transman being with a natal or

birth woman,that is also a heterosexual relationship.

Angelique

[Guest Alexandra89]

1. I wouldn't date an FtM because I'm not into guys at all.

2. I've never heard of a relationship, but I don't have any theories about why that is.

3. I am a lesbian, and I would not. If it were all about the equipment, I would be denying their male identities. I couldn't continue a relationship with a girl whose affection was contingent on me having a penis, so I would never do anything similar to an FtM.

[Guest AiAmAngel]

We in the gender community consider it homosexuality or lesbianism if it is a transwoman

with a natal woman or another transwoman.While if it is a transwoman with a natal male,it

is being heterosexual.For it is a woman being with a man as a woman,a natural union,not a

male on male,that is a gay relationship.The same with a transman being with a natal or

birth woman,that is also a heterosexual relationship.

Angelique

I think she meant that there are more lesbian women who are transsexual than there are heterosexual.

And that there are more heterosexual women who are cisgendered than lesbian.

Which is interesting to say the least... I have no personal theories and don't honestly care much as to why that is, but you can't say its not interesting

[Guest Risu]

1) I don't know.

2) nope.

3) I consider myself straight. I know I am predominantly attracted to men and given a choice I would chose a male partner over a female one. However, there is a part of myself I consider bisexual but with a preference for men because as JJ said I fall in love with the person, not the equipment or anything else but the person.

I would date a FtM and if he had the sense of humour to tease me and tell me he used to wear the same sized bra well then Id have to laugh and think up an equally funny remark. I'll leave that to your imagination.

Any relationship involving a transperson is likely to have complications. If I date anyone I will just have to work that much harder to make it work. Sex is such a small part of life. I live just fine without it right now. If I were to date a FtM.. well unless he wanted to use a strap-on... but I'd prefer he didn't. Intimacy with someone born male can deflate due to medical issues or injury so its not really something I can worry about in the long term. All I care about is my future partner and I getting along and being totally open with each other. And if that means sharing pictures of him when he was a girl and me when I was a boy I'd be fine with that. The past doesn't matter nearly as much as the present and the future in this regard.

Anyways, I will just have to wait and see what happens. It surprises me that there aren't more relationships between the two groups but to each their own. Now to read the article JJ provided!

[Guest Robin Winter]

That's not really something I can answer. I can speculate, but not with any real degree of confidence. I personally would have no problem dating a person who is MtF or FtM, and in fact I've dated someone who was MtF in everything but name (This person looked and dressed like a woman and wore makeup, but never identified as a woman and was male bodied). Equipment doesn't really concern me, and I can't imagine what it's like to be a person to whom it does. This is who I've always been and nothing else really makes sense to me.

As a matter of fact, there are a few people here at Lauras that, were I single, I'd probably flirt shamelessly with.

[Guest Avery F]

Well, as a gay transman, my perspective is sort of... different, but if I had to guess-

1) I'd imagine it's a variety of reasons, but the main ones would be that sex is in fact an extremely important aspect of any relationship to many people (unfortunate, in my opinion, but there it is), and as JJ said, the emotional baggage.

2) I have heard of one such relationship, yes, and it apparently worked out quite well. The transman and transwoman in question had been happily married for twenty years.

3) I'm gay, so I wouldn't date a transwoman any more than I'd date a cisgendered woman. Even though her 'equipment' might be right, if she was pre-op, she would likely not feel comfortable with it (which would in turn make me uncomfortable), and also I consider myself gay because I'm romantically attracted to men and not to women. In a purely sexual sense I could probably go either way, although I have a slight preference for men, but as transwomen are still women I don't think I'd ever find myself romantically attracted to one. I would date a transman if I was attracted to him - but I'd have to be sure that he also saw the relationship as a gay one, because it would be. Of course, I'm very nearly asexual, so this is based mostly off romantic preference, which puts a rather different spin on things.

[Guest angie]

Excellent!

I am so glad you chose to post your view on the subject,

that way we are getting diverse view points from both

sides of the issue.

Thankx,

Angie

[Guest Michaele]

Lets see if I have this right

cis man x cis woman = streight

trans man x cis woman = streight

cis man x trans woman = streight

trans man x trans woman = streight

trans woman x cis woman = gay

trans man x cis man = gay

trans man x trans man = gay

trans woman x trans woman = gay

When my GT said because all my relationships had been with women and I'm MTF they were all lesbien, because I'm really female and my head started hurting.

All I have to say is no one should care and it's nobody's business who is with who, it's all about personal happiness and keeping the government out of our bedrooms.

Big Hugs Shelley

[Guest angie]

Poor Baby,confusing and complicated isn't it.

Angie

[Guest Miss_Construe]

1. Why do you think that there are not alot of relationships between the two?

I have not seen stats in order to speak to this

2. Have you heard of any relationship between the two and how did it work out?

I heard the equipment combination could cause dysphoria due to jealousy, but it doesn't have to.

3. If you are lesbian or hetrosexual would you see a FTM as a potential partner just by their equipment, personality, the way they present themselves, or a combinations of these things.

I am pansexual and would view an FTM male as a potential partner if they met my guy partner standards.