Mtf Date Ftm

[Drea]

1. Why do you think that there are not alot of relationships between the two?

This looks like an assumption. It is probably fair to say that the majority of MTF and FTM don't end up in such relationships but I know of plenty of examples who have.

2. Have you heard of any relationship between the two and how did it work out?

Yes, I know of many. Some are long term and ongoign. Others didn't last long.

3. If you are lesbian or hetrosexual would you see a FTM as a potential partner just by their equipment, personality, the way they present themselves, or a combinations of these things.

I seen many MTF say something like "I am only into women the only guy I would date would be FTM". PersonallY this sort of statement conveys the idea to me that they don't see FTM as men. It is also suggestive that it is their "equipment" that they are interested in.

[Guest angie]

I seen many MTF say something like "I am only into women the only guy I would date would be FTM". PersonallY this sort of statement conveys the idea to me that they don't see FTM as men. It is also suggestive that it is their "equipment" that they are interested in.

Now this statement irritated me.For it demonstrates ignorance.

The reason a transwoman would be willing to date a transman is that we have a common

bond of the same path being traveled though going in opposite directions.It has NOTHING

to do with seeing him as anything other than the man he is.His old gender,

as with our old gender,does not play into the equation in the very least.In fact...

A transman will not let anyone touch anything beyond the small penis his clitoris evolves into with the introduction

of testosterone flooding his system.He Is A MAN,and can get agressive,assertive,and pushy.

Just like every other male in the world.I don't want Anyone touching my stuff,well,they

don't either beyond a certain point.I know,I went with a fine,very handsome,very manly and

masculine transman for three months,and we split,amicably,because the natal woman he was

in love with wanted to get back together with him,and simply put,I could not compete,not

being complete.

Now...Please do not make a statement as a fact of something you apparently know nothing

about. End of rant.

Angelique Michelle

[Guest rynae]

Does the equipment make you any less then a man or a woman? No. However they are a crucial aspect to a person wanting to live a good quality life for some. For some people sex is the only criteria for a potential partner that make a person happy in life. Not that there is nothing wrong with that. Others can care less about what is down there and live a life time without having sex with that partner. However People such as I need BOTH the BALANCE of the person identity and the equipment to be completely happy with life. For a person to become a potential partner they have to meet those needs. None of us are wrong in stating what we need in our partner. Also we have to see that not everything we put down as our needs will be met. One thing in life I know for sure is that there is no such thing as perfection which includes the perfect partner. What are you willing to sacrifice and and not sacrifice? Those are questions that each and everyone of us ask ourselves time to time. Thank you for your replies, it is nice to see what some people would like in a relationship.

[Guest angie]

You are most welcome,for it generated a needed conversation,

and educated while at it.

Angelique

[Sakura]

I think one of the things that works against trans on trans relation ships the most. is the fact that they are transsexual. you have two people doing two monumentally hard tasks in their life. then compound that with the problems all relationships face. then further compounded with the personal problems that many transsexual individually have. clinical depression , borderline personality disorder. sever body dysphoria, social anxiety. it doesn't suprize me that most trans relationships fail with in the first few months.

not to say that all fail , because i know of a few personally that have survived, and flurish between FTM,- MTF. though rare it can happen. but even then who's to say its all that rare, maybe the ones who are in these types of relation ships just don't make a big deal of it, even to other transsexuals.

Being a heterosexual woman. i am attracted to masculinity. not the stereo typical . beer drinking, womanizing. needs to fight 24 7 to prove him self, masculinity. but those who are comfortable in their masculinity. they are men who don't feel they have to constantly prove to them selves, and the world that they are men, they just are. then there are my own personal preffrences. i find attractive in a man. if that is all met , then that man is a potential partner. regardless of physical sex. that stuff can be worked around.... if they are willing to look past mine as well

Sakura

[Guest ranse]

I really can't answer for other people, but I would have no problem dating a transwoman. I'm in the crowd that is attracted to personality, humor, and common interests. There are a few women here I feel a bond and a spark with, but would be too shy to approach at this point because I feel like I'm "lacking" somehow. They are making the effort to transition, wanting to live as women and I assume they want a man who is whole in body. It depresses me, honestly, because I think non-trans heterosexual women probably feel the same. A friend asked me, "why don't you just be a butch woman?" Because that's not me. I'm a man and want to interact with the world that way. Even if it means a romantic/sexual relationship is not part of my life.

I'm getting off topic. I would date another trans person if she didn't mind helping me put together the puzzle pieces in the bedroom that would bring us both pleasure. I believe we could find a strong enough bond to transcend our physical selves and not be so hung up on who has what parts and how they work.

As far as my past, I can't erase it, but I certainly don't want to dwell on my female bodied self. That was never ME, you know? I always say, "when I was a kid ..." and talk about experience that way. I didn't have a girlhood; I had a childhood.

[Guest angie]

Being a heterosexual woman.I am attracted to masculinity. not the stereo typical . beer drinking, womanizing. needs to fight 24 7 to prove him self, masculinity. but those who are comfortable in their masculinity. they are men who don't feel they have to constantly prove to them selves, and the world that they are men, they just are. then there are my own personal preffrences. i find attractive in a man. if that is all met , then that man is a potential partner. regardless of physical sex. that stuff can be worked around.... if they are willing to look past mine as well

Sakura

That is the kind of men I am attracted to also Sakura.

I am quite particular in my attractions too I have noticed.He has to be a certain kind of way,have an air of real maleness and masculinity about him.In short,I like manly men.But he has to be fit, and handsome,according to my definition of handsomeness.I know when I find a man hot and

am attracted,everything in me tells me I am. And it sounds like,from your description,that we like about the same qualities in a man.I do not want a beer swilling,swaggering

jerk for a lover.I would like a man who is sure of who he is,and knows how to treat a

lady like a lady.

Angelqiue

[Guest angie]

I would date another trans person if she didn't mind helping me put together the puzzle pieces in the bedroom that would bring us both pleasure. I believe we could find a strong enough bond to transcend our physical selves and not be so hung up on who has what parts and how they work.

Exactly Ranse.

I treated my old boyfriend sexually the way my wife,and other female lovers

I had in my past life treated me.He is a man,I am a woman,if each respects

that boundary,they can bond and grow as a healthy well adjust heterosexual

couple.And to be honest,no one is the wiser either.Because him and her couples

are an everyday fact of life,hardly anyone gives them a second look.

Angelique

[Guest Leah1026]

1. Why do you think that there are not alot of relationships between the two?

I know 2 such couples, so it's not unheard of. And actually some trans people actually prefer to be involved with other trans people because they have a shared experience.

2. Have you heard of any relationship between the two and how did it work out?

As I said I know 2 such couples locally and many more online. It's really not as uncommon as you think.

3. If you are lesbian or hetrosexual would you see a FTM as a potential partner just by their equipment, personality, the way they present themselves, or a combinations of these things.

If you respect their gender identity they are a man, period!

[Guest ranse]

Exactly Ranse.

I treated my old boyfriend sexually the way my wife,and other female lovers

I had in my past life treated me.He is a man,I am a woman,if each respects

that boundary,they can bond and grow as a healthy well adjust heterosexual

couple.And to be honest,no one is the wiser either.Because him and her couples

are an everyday fact of life,hardly anyone gives them a second look.

Angelique

My circle of trans friends is entirely online, so that doesn't really help my chances of meeting someone and seeing if there is a connection there. I have thought about whether love would be an area I sacrifice for this transition. It will take a very special person to accept the wonder of a transgender lover. I can see where two trans people who haven't been able to deal with their dysphoria could stall in the bedroom when confronted with each other's genitalia. I also see where a heterosexual ciswoman might have real problems with a transman's body. In both cases, it's a shame. The two trans people have so much that bonds them emotionally that making love might be spectacular. A transman (if he had been comfortable enough with his former body to explore sexual expression) has insights into the female body and sexuality that a cisman doesn't. He would know what feels good and how to play her body in a way a cisman might not.

Sex is as much about the brain and the emotions as it is the body. But, it's very hard for most people to look past the body.

I think your final statement above is right on; society at large expects couples to be a male and a female. As long as that's what they see, no one cares or looks any deeper.

[Drea]

I seen many MTF say something like "I am only into women the only guy I would date would be FTM". PersonallY this sort of statement conveys the idea to me that they don't see FTM as men. It is also suggestive that it is their "equipment" that they are interested in.

Now this statement irritated me.For it demonstrates ignorance...

...

...

Now...Please do not make a statement as a fact of something you apparently know nothing

about. End of rant.

Thank you, if you wish to call me ignorant that is okay, of all on this site I am one of the few on the site that must accept such personal attacks.

I believe my statement speaks for itself. I did not make any incorrect statement of fact. Such is what the words suggest to me. I made no claims as to the meaning to others nor did I\ presume my experience applies to all. If such dosnt' apply to you obviously it doesn't. But if you read it that way, it is entirely your perogrative.

I could elaborate to point out just how much some making such statements clearly aren't seeing FTM as men. They clearly aren't seeing it as you are. I could even quote FTM I know who have expressed how it makes them feel.

It is common within the community for one to project their experience to be represenatitive of all.

I been around too long to presume my personal experience is what all have experienced.

I think one of the things that works against trans on trans relation ships the most. is the fact that they are transsexual. you have two people doing two monumentally hard tasks in their life.

With such dramatic changes that one experiences in transition, such relationships are hard to have last. One or both are developing signficantly and the needs prior to transtion may be very different after.

then compound that with the problems all relationships face. then further compounded with the personal problems that many transsexual individually have. clinical depression , borderline personality disorder. sever body dysphoria, social anxiety. it doesn't suprize me that most trans relationships fail with in the first few months.

Is it true, trans folk have all these issues. One would think that trans folk are completely normal and don't have any issues beyond gender from what I see so often represented.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

I really can't answer for other people, but I would have no problem dating a transwoman. I'm in the crowd that is attracted to personality, humor, and common interests. There are a few women here I feel a bond and a spark with, but would be too shy to approach at this point because I feel like I'm "lacking" somehow. They are making the effort to transition, wanting to live as women and I assume they want a man who is whole in body. It depresses me, honestly, because I think non-trans heterosexual women probably feel the same. A friend asked me, "why don't you just be a butch woman?" Because that's not me. I'm a man and want to interact with the world that way. Even if it means a romantic/sexual relationship is not part of my life.

I'm getting off topic. I would date another trans person if she didn't mind helping me put together the puzzle pieces in the bedroom that would bring us both pleasure. I believe we could find a strong enough bond to transcend our physical selves and not be so hung up on who has what parts and how they work.

As far as my past, I can't erase it, but I certainly don't want to dwell on my female bodied self. That was never ME, you know? I always say, "when I was a kid ..." and talk about experience that way. I didn't have a girlhood; I had a childhood.

Hey, what a quotation above ... rock on!

Personally, for my own reasons, I'm not planning on having SRS/GRS. Know what, I'd be totally cool with a transguy with his original God-given plumbing. Hey, if the connection was there, we vibed in and could really relate to one another, then so what if with just so happen to have "the right plumbing" but it's merely "transposed" anyway? Like, no biggie.

Genital dysphoria? Certainly. However, for a relationship like this, I could deal with it totally, and so could my transguy. So the plumbing is "transposed" to the other person? Forget about it and rock on!

My divorce (for which I'm paying, naturally) is finalized this autumn. So, I'll both available and looking. Will I meet somebody awesome? YES! Know why? Because, I believe it to be so, and, therefore, it will be!

Peace Out Lacey

Dude!

We could totally rock out to Keef Riffhard! John Mellencamp plays away on KGON on the radio as I write this. DANG, I love it! Rock with soul, baby ... rock with soul!

[Guest ranse]

Genital dysphoria? Certainly. However, for a relationship like this, I could deal with it totally, and so could my transguy. So the plumbing is "transposed" to the other person? Forget about it and rock on!

I totally get this. That's where I think two transpeople might be able use that shared experience of dysphoria and their connectedness to actually overcome the dysphoria in intimate moments.

My divorce (for which I'm paying, naturally) is finalized this autumn. So, I'll both available and looking. Will I meet somebody awesome? YES! Know why? Because, I believe it to be so, and, therefore, it will be!

I know you will, too, because you send out such positive energy, it's bound to come back to you, right?