Introduce Yourselves

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Aetherlux, we've got bars in Chicago that are for LGBT people. I think it's a wonderful concept and they should be in more places or cities.

Tracy, it's nice to meet you and have read your story. The last bit about showing people who you are is perfect. I may have to steal that one day to explain myself to a few people

[Guest aetherlux]

Nice to know, Jamie. I'm pretty sure Portland has some places. I've only been in Oregon for a few months, though, but I intend on frequenting Portland more as soon as I start getting more money.

[tracy_j]

Nice to meet you too Jamie.

Feel free to use my thoughts if they fit - looking back I think I could have put everything a little clearer but it's not easy getting thoughts and feelings written down.

[Guest Today]

Hello everyone! I already put an introduction in the general introduction forum but since I'm androgyne I'll resummarize myself for the community. I'm 15 years old and a mix of genders. I don't conform to the gender binary nor do I appreciate it's existence.

I'm pretty sure I was MTF before puberty. I showed most of the classic signs: claiming to be female since 2, wanting to cut off my penis, hanging around girls, taking on female roles in games and stories, etc. If I hadn't been born in a country that has yet to leave the dark ages, there's a good chance I would have been put on blockers and be transitioning today. I might be in the trans section saying something like: "I'm Alison, 15, and an MTF lesbian".

However, I don't mind having missed that opportunity because when puberty hit I actually became more comfortable in my body. I came to appreciate my male traits but I still retain my female ones. I feel kind of mixed-up inside. I'm glad to see there are other people here with similar experiences. Knowing that you're all here makes me feel more whole. I also find it interesting that there seem to be more natal females than natal males in the andro section even though it's strongly skewed the opposite way in the transgender section. Does anyone know why?

[Guest tolachi]

Hi all, I'm middle aged and angrogynous Nice to meet you all. I struggle to find people like myself. I'm biologically female but my body conflicts alot with my mind which is very male. However I wouldn't want to transition because I would miss my female side (which I have lived like all my life and wouldn't want to lose). However. the very male essence of me is unseen and very invisible. I'm deemed as a tomboy, I wear mainly boy clothes. When I do wear feminine clothes I feel odd, out of place, stupid and very uncomfortable (even though people say I look really nice lol). The guy in me screams in those moments!!

Luckily I have a sense of humour which gets me through. It's difficult attempting to explain the gender issue to others who don't have the same issue. They tend to look at me as if I've got 3 heads!

Nice to meet you all anyway. I joined a few weeks ago but I've been away for a few weeks on a break in Scotland.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Hi all, I'm middle aged and angrogynous Nice to meet you all. I struggle to find people like myself. I'm biologically female but my body conflicts alot with my mind which is very male. However I wouldn't want to transition because I would miss my female side (which I have lived like all my life and wouldn't want to lose). However. the very male essence of me is unseen and very invisible. I'm deemed as a tomboy, I wear mainly boy clothes. When I do wear feminine clothes I feel odd, out of place, stupid and very uncomfortable (even though people say I look really nice lol). The guy in me screams in those moments!!

Luckily I have a sense of humour which gets me through. It's difficult attempting to explain the gender issue to others who don't have the same issue. They tend to look at me as if I've got 3 heads!

Nice to meet you all anyway. I joined a few weeks ago but I've been away for a few weeks on a break in Scotland.

Hi tolachi!

You sound a lot like I imagine I'd be if I were biologically female. I have a very masculine personality and probably would have considered the possibility of being FTM. I feel ridiculous in women's clothing (the guy in me screams too). But I'm biologically male so it all ironically makes even less sense. At the moment I consider myself MTF, and am trying my darndest to come off as female without resorting to any unwanted wardrobe changes. As you can imagine, I too struggle to find others like myself.

Pleased to meet you.

[Guest Curbs]

Hey! My names Curbs & I'm a 20 yr old college student with a gift for making up stories & connecting with people.

Up until last night is spent my whole life thinking I was so different & so strange compared to everyone else. I had no clue what was happening in my life because from the time I can remember I always wanted to do 'boy stuff', people always told me I was thinking like a man & that many of my mannerisms were boyish, even when I played sports, the one thing everyone's supposed to do a like, I realized that I played more like the boys than any of the other girls. I spent a lot of time trying to act girlier & even got upset when people pointed out my masculine tendencies.

Since I've gotten to college & found a wonderful group of friends I've found it a lot easier to just be myself & ignore all the haters but there were still those feelings of loneliness & confusion. Everything I read talked about trans* people making me think maybe I was just meant to be expressing the male gender but sitting & looking at myself in the mirror some days I knew that wasn't the case. I enjoy my feminine side way too much even when it clashes with my masculine side.

Once again I thought 'welp I knew I was weird guess I can't be suprised' but then I stumbled upon this site. Reading about this word androgyne I literally felt so happy I teared up. I always say I don't need labels to define me cause labels are for characters & I'm a real person but in reality fitting somewhere makes me feel a little less freakish I guess. & the fact that there's forums & chat rooms to help me find myself to give me ideas & methods... Like woah.

I'm home!

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Curbs,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Audra]

Hello everyone,

I'm new here so I thought that I would just jump right in and introduce myself.

I have had issues with my gender identity ever since I can remember but in the last few years I have made great progress in coming to peace with myself after so many years of denial.

Until I read some of the posts on this thread I wasn't sure that anyone felt the same way that I do about their gender as I do about mine.

Genetically I'm a male but I have never been quite comfortable with that definition of myself. The only thing I know is that I don't know what gender I am but I'm sure that I'm not male. I know that sounds confusing but it makes sense to me.

Last year was a great year for me. I reconnected with a friend from high school that I have not talk to in years. She has been such a God send on my journey of self discovery. She has become someone I can talk to about anything and she has been totally accepting. In fact she gave me my preferred name .. Audra. I love her dearly and I feel so blessed to have her friendship.

A few days ago another wonderful thing happened. My wife discovered my female clothes and we had an open discussion concerning my gender identity issues. She wasn't at all upset about me wanting to wear a dress. I was so relieved after years of fearing being discovered and then rejected.

I'm coming to the point where I don't care about "Passing" as either male or female. I wear what I please in public and if on a given day that is a dress I wear a dress.

Finally I'm becoming comfortable in my own skin.

Looking forward to reading and learning more.

Thanks for listening,

Audra

[Guest Kyla S]

Hi everyone!

I'm Kyla, and I'm a 30-year-old MTF born and raised in northeast Ohio. Went to L.A. for the past four years to go to grad school, but came back to Ohio and am staying with the folks for now. Looking to meet some Ohioans in the area?!

Also, I've been on HRT since March 4, 2013, and I have been living full time since December 1, 2013!!! Needless to say, 2013 was quite the year, so let's see where 2014 goes!

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Kyla

Nice to see you made it to forums

you can also post an intro as a new topic if you like

vanna

[Guest Plaid Chameleon]

hello, I"m new, 23 year old FTM, I've been looking for a community maybe some people to help answer some questions or at least provide support. I figured I would just make my presence known.

[Guest football75ty]

he everyone i am new to here i am 19 looking for support and help with understanding what myself and others will and have to go through.

[Guest Missymirandaxx]

Hey peeps, Miranda here ~ 18 years old MTF xx

[Guest Michelle57]

Hi everyone.

I've been here for a short time and never said hi to everyone. I guess I should tell you all a little about me. I am a M/F transexual. I have been married twice and as you guessed they didn't work out, imagine that. I have three wonderful children, all boys. A set of twin boys ( indentical ) who are 38 now and a 15 yr old son whom I have had custody of since he was 5 and yes I am a single parent struggling with day to day issues of raising him as well as my own personal issues so I can get stressed out from time to time and places like Luara's Playground helps relieve some of the tension when I get the chance to talk with other trans people, you know, I don't feel quite so alone.

I knew since I was 5 that I wasn't just quite right and it caused a lot of problems growing up. I developed severe depression by the time I was 13 and was so confused that I shot myself when I was 16, I just wanted it to stop. I had no idea what was wrong with me and it seemed that no one else did either. Still not sure how I lived thru that one but some how I did. I am glad that I did or I wouldn't have known what it was like to be a father and now on my way to being a mother. I kept my problem hidden from my sons that is until August of 2013. My two oldest sons and my sister turned their backs on me when I came out that I was trans. My brother wasn't shocked and said he knew something was up by the way I had been acting and dressing, that was relief and my 15 yr old son was a little shocked and I don't think he believed me at first but he is fine with it now. He is actually starting to drive me a little nuts lately because he is getting really protective of me lately and says he's not going to let any one hurt me. I think he means well but omg he's about to drive me up the wall.

I wish I had internet back in the 60's and 70's because I was 42 before I ever heard the word transender and that I was a transexual. Talk about a slap in the face but I went into denial which I am sure some of you are probably familiar with. I just kept bouncing around from shrink to shrink getting anti depressents trying to run from being trans and not wanting to go thru all the nasty things that I had experienced in my preteen and teen years. But eventually that was not to be. I guess I have my youngest son to thank for where I am today. Last summer I was in severe depression mode and had planned another suicide attempt and went as far as to get together every thing that I would need. I figured I would do it while he was at his mothers and that would be the end of it. But I kept thinking about him and was afraid of what it would do to him and the thought of him being the one to find scared me more than living and I sought help. I found the transgender clinic here in K. C. and sent them an email and got a response almost imediately from Caroline Gibbs wanting me to call her and I did thank god. I have been in therapy with her for a bit now and on HRT since December 5 ,2013. I have come out to family,friends, and people at work that I am a transexual. I do go out from time to time in fem. I have not had any surgery or FFS and no I do not pass most of the time but I no longer care what any one thinks. At least I feel at peace inside and no longer full of anger. Every one tells me that I seem a lot happier now including my son. Imagine that.LOL.

I know I'm long winded at times but this is who I am.

Michelle

[Charlize]

Thank you for your intro. Michelle. I share much with you. I remember the days when the internet just got started and did some research. We were always shown as kinky sex objects which just wasn't me. I had no idea that i could live as myself and have any acceptance or support in this world. Back int the closet. That closet grew for me and i presented as female almost everywhere but home. I felt i was a cross dresser and didn't understand trans at all. Laura's was immensely helpful. I hope you can find that support here as well.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Michelle57]

Thank you Charlie.

I don't believe any one can have to much support or to many caring people. They are having a " Come as you are for M/F " here in K.C. on Feb 7,8 @ 9. In fact my therapist Carolin Gibbs is suppose to be speaking there among other things.I have never been to one before so I think I am going to go as I have those days off from work. I don't mind saying that I am a little bit more than nervous about it thou but I am in hopes that I can learn new things and make new contacts as well as friends.

[Guest AshleighP]

Welcome and thanks for your open and honest Introduction. You will find lots of support here as we all have similar stories to tell. It's nice to able to be this transparent with liked minded individuals. Love this line in your intro "At least I feel at peace inside and no longer full of anger". Speaks volumes about your decision and your progress. Stay strong and be yourself.

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

Hi, I'm "" Stacie Cheyenne "" In my personal Opinion, I'm A very Loving, Beautiful And Caring 51 Year Old Feminine Transvestite, My Wife of 24 1/2 Year's Know's ALL, But It's not a Perfect World, And because of that, I live in secret, I'm hoping this site will Help With All Aspect's, Thank You:

[Guest Michelle57]

Hello Stacie

I have a 14 yr old niece whos first name is Cheyenne. I think she spells it the same way, It is such a beautiful name. I'm so happy that your wife knows all, I am guessing that it does make it a little easier if you have more freedom around home to be yourself. You are right that it's not a perfect world but then if was we wouldn't have wonderful people like you and everyone else here. I haven't been here long myself but welcome just the same. Hope to hear more from you in the future.

Michelle

[Guest Michelle57]

I got bad news today in my email. The come as you are M/F conference here in Kansas City was cancelled or at least post poned and was refunded my money. Since I recieved my refund I am guessing that they are not sure when or even if they will reschedule. I would much rather they have kept my money and aplied it to the new time they for rescheduling at least I would know then when it would be and I would already be set to go. I have never been to one of these conferences and I was really looking foreward to the experience since it hasn't been but a few months since I finally came full circle with who and what I am. So sad cause I'm afraid that I will miss the notice of the new time if there is one.

[Guest jnemo]

Sorry, somehow I missed this topic when browsing through the forum... I left my intro in the MTF area

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

I am Stacie Cheyenne a Tansgender Female, ( Maybe Eventually a Full & or Part Transexual In Time ) - A Cross Dressing Beautiful GIRL, Who Is Trying to make Friend's & Become The Feminine, Girly Girl, She Was Destined to be @ birth:

[Guest bsincere]

Well I don't really know what to say... But I need a place to talk to other people like me. I have always felt disconnected in someway. But started dressing in female clothes at a young age. I got married without knowing this would not go away, only to find out that i really and honestly want to become a women. It has been a long road, but I really feel like it is something I need to handle to move forward.. I live in Oklahoma and don't know anyone that understands(but i don't feel comfortable talking to anyone either). That's why I'm here. Im just looking to find some friends.

[Guest Michelle57]

Hi bsincere

Yep I got marrid first time at age 17 hoping that would make my problem go away and divorced 2 yrs later. Oppps that wasn't good enough for me and went into the service ( didn't last long there either, lol ). Then I got married a second time because I was in denial that there was any thing wrong with me. Hey it's been a long road but I finally figured it out. I can't run fast enough, or hide well enough or fight hard enough to get away from the fact that I am trans and I too had a problem of not feeling comfortable enough to talk to any one about it. I did get over that out of desperation as my options were quickly running out. I am sure you can find pleanty of good people here to talk to, just go at your own pace until you feel comfortable with the one's you are talking to. The sad news is if you are trans it is never going to go away and the harder you fight it the worst it will probably get al least it did for me. Just take it slow and gradual until you start feeling more comfortable and I am sure that you will start finding a part of yourself that has been missing. I am transitioning slowly while on HRT, not just so others around me can get use to the new me that is slowly emerging but I also have to get use to the new me and I am starting to enjoy who I really am. So any way welcome.