Introduce Yourselves

[Guest lillypad]

Hello Everyone,

I'm Lilly, I've been transitioning for 10 months now, full time mom and getting married to a wonderful man this coming August.

Just doing an introduction.

[Guest Wanda Michelle]

Hi everyone!

I have done so many introductions on the site it's hard to keep track! Here I go again.

My name is Wanda. I've been a cross dresser for as long as I remember but would love to be a woman. I am married with children but have never confessed my desires to anyone until I found this site and revealed them here. It has been a tremendous resource for me. I used to think I was the only one going through all these feelings. I have spent my life dressing and purging but with all your support I feel much more comfortable and far less guilty expressing my womanly side.

I love this site and am so glad I found it!

Love and Warmest Wishes,

Wanda

[Charlize]

Hi Wanda and if i haven't said it many times before, welcome. Laura's helped me as well in many ways. I was no longer alone and became a member of a non judgmental community. At least they didn't judge me. Sometimes it is hard to not judge a society that forces us to feel ashamed and afraid of who we are. It only works here with all of us. We are equally important. Hopefully you will continue to fel you can open to others as they join us.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Wanda Michelle]

Thank you Charlie. Laura's made me feel sooo much better! I do like feeling a part of people that are non-judgmental and being able to express my feelings to others. As I have stated in other posts, I feel much more comfortable with myself and far less guilty about wanting to be a woman.

Love,

Wanda

[Guest Michelle57]

A little update on some thing that has happened a few days ago. In my intro I said that my sister had turned her back on me, well she contacted me about a week ago. She said that she was shocked by what I had told her and that she really didn't know what to think. She said that she needed time to process it and she got on line and started researching my little ( big ) problem, her and her husband. She said she could understand about me wanting to be female and after looking back at things that I use to do and the way I would act when we were kids things started making sense to her now, as for the rest of what will follow in my transition she didn't understand but she would figure it out as it happened. Her husband is just fine with it, he always was pretty cool and would go out of his way to help a person. But I did hear him over the phone say " She sure is going to be on mean woman " I had to laugh because he knew me when I was drunk on a daily basis and fighting, he just didn't know that I done those things trying to prove to myself that I was a man, it never worked but I didn't know it wouldn't at the time. She still sounded a little skitish like she wanted to ask me a lot of questions but was afaid to so I told her that I would do my best to help her understand my situation. And lord almighty I swear the first question out of her mouth was ( So you like guys ? ) I don't know if it's just me or what but with the exception of my brother every time I come out and tell some one that I am a transexual the very first question is ( Do you like guys ? ). I think I will just tatoo it across my forehead ( yes I like guys ) and save some time. I figured I would use her question to break the ice and try to make her feel a little more at ease and said " Ya I like guys but you don't have to worry because I'm not out to steal any one's husband so Dave ( her husband ) is safe. Well it worked and she laughed and I could tell she feeling better and was able to talk to me like my old sister. Well she has contacted me almost every day since and she has talked to our brother that I talk or see almost daily asking him things about me. He told me that she acted as if she really did care and was full of questions and he told her that you need to talk to Michelle because I don't know the answer's that you are looking for. My youngest brother that I haven't seen in years aprarently has talked to my brother and was told about me and he is just fine with it. He told my brother that he knew several years ago that I was trans and said " It's about time he done some thing about it. " . I had forgotten that he had taken me to one of my therapy sessions and I had told him why I was there, but I was still in denial and told him the therapist didn't know what he was talking about. I don't think my youngest brother believed me at the time and now I'm sure he didn't but he has never said any thing to me about it. Well that's it, I got my sister back so I won't be crying about losing her any more.

Michelle

[Carolyn Marie]

That's some pretty good news, Michelle! Good for you, and good for your family members. You have some really open minded, open hearted family, and that is a great thing.

They are certainly welcome to come here as guests (lurkers) and read the forum threads, or they can obtain membership as family members. Of course, you should be comfortable with that, too.

I wish you continued good fortune. I may have missed your intro post, and if so, I would like to welcome you here, too.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Michelle57]

Thank you Carolyn, I will let my sister know about Lauras and leave it at her discretion as to whether she would like to at least check it out, and I am fine with her joining if she chooses. I think it could probably help her to understand what is going on with me. We were pretty close growing up and she is my only sister so when she had turned her back on me when I came out to her it really hurt me deeply and I cried a lot over it. When she finally contacted me out of the blue I was so excited people would have thought I won the lottery, lol. KInd of funny because it feels like I did.

Michelle

[Guest Jtlloyd64]

Hi, my name is Jamie.

Where to begin......

I have known since I was 5 that I was a boy, unfortunately my body is female.

For many years I just thought I was a freak, then I learned about “ gay “ so surely

that was me. I started relationships with woman, but still something was not right.

I had always dreamed of growing up getting married to a woman, having kids.

A husband & a father...that's all I ever wanted. But gay ppl can't do that, besides again I still

felt frustrated, angry, this isn't my life....I am NOT gay & I am tired of living in a closet.

I didn't & don't fit in anywhere.....I am not a female & I am not a man, not on the outside anyway.

I finally learned about FTM....it was very late in life, I am almost 50 now.

I have tried for the last 10 years to find a way to start transitioning.

I have a wonderful partner of 12 years who supports me, but does not fully understand.

She identifies as being a lesbian as much & strongly as I do being a man...so what does that

make her she asks. I have little financial resources & have found NO resources here in Texas.

I feel more frustrated & angry as ever before.

I feel like I have spent my whole life living someone else's life, I am so tired & weary.

I am hoping this forum will help bring me new hope, friends & resources.

I am looking forward for once in a very, very long time.

Sincerely,

Jamie

[Guest Michelle57]

Hi Jamie,

You sound identical to me in reverse. I am M/F and I am 56 and just started HRT last December. I don't have a lot of resources myself but since I learned what and who I am and have take a few steps forward my life is changing every day for the better. Being this mature is tough and it is hard but at least I know now who I am and who I have always been even thou I didn't know it back then at least I can sit back and smile about all the people that thought I was crazy, including myself. Hey not crazy, not a freak, just didn't know I was transexual and no one to help guide me. Finacialy it is hard for me, but I just take it one day at time and always keeping my eyes and ears open looking for extra ways to make a little more cash to stuff back in my purse for all the things I will need for my transition. But it does get better, just finding out that I was transexual and not crazy was a big relief to me.

Keep your head and be proud of who you are and I am sure the rest will slowly fall into place. I use want things, changes to happen quickly like right now and they weren't but after a lot of advise and talking with others I have learned it takes time and patience and they were right as I no longer stress out about it and just let things happen.

Michelle

[Guest Jtlloyd64]

Hi Jamie,

You sound identical to me in reverse. I am M/F and I am 56 and just started HRT last December. I don't have a lot of resources myself but since I learned what and who I am and have take a few steps forward my life is changing every day for the better. Being this mature is tough and it is hard but at least I know now who I am and who I have always been even thou I didn't know it back then at least I can sit back and smile about all the people that thought I was crazy, including myself. Hey not crazy, not a freak, just didn't know I was transexual and no one to help guide me. Finacialy it is hard for me, but I just take it one day at time and always keeping my eyes and ears open looking for extra ways to make a little more cash to stuff back in my purse for all the things I will need for my transition. But it does get better, just finding out that I was transexual and not crazy was a big relief to me.

Keep your head and be proud of who you are and I am sure the rest will slowly fall into place. I use want things, changes to happen quickly like right now and they weren't but after a lot of advise and talking with others I have learned it takes time and patience and they were right as I no longer stress out about it and just let things happen.

Michelle

Thanks Michelle & your right about wanting thing's to happen quickly. After 15 years I just want something !

[Guest JessAaryn]

I am completely new here and this is my first ever post. SO, on with the introduction

My given name is Jessica and I am currently 22 (23 in May). I prefer it if people refer to me as Jess or Aaryn (Aaryn preferred). I'm hoping to someday get my name changed to Jess Aaryn (last name here) so that people I've known my whole life can still refer to me the same, but also be able to be reffered to as Aaryn without people looking at me weird and ask "Why that name?"

Now onto the reason of why I'm here:

I was born (and am still) physically a female. Just over a year ago I had a revelation that i consider myself a male in my mind. The reason why it took me so long to figure it out is fairly complicated in my opinion. There were a lot of signs earlier in my life, but I just always put my discomfort aside and kept living life like all the other girls I knew.

There was a time in middle school/high school when I tried to convince others (and myself) that I liked females. Now, looking back, I realize that at that time I was "in the closet." My entire life I've always been attracted to males, but the thought of dating one made me extremely uncomfortable. Because of this as of right now I have never been in a relationship. I now know that the reason I have always been so uncomfortable is because I am physically a female and that's how people see me. People think of me as "straight" because I am attracted to males and am physically a female. But to my mind I am gay. One can imagine how this bothers me.

Others don't see myself as I do and that inhibits be from being able to be myself, so I just force to act like how everyone expects me to act. I have done this my whole life. I have no idea how to be myself because I really don't know who I am. In my mind I'm someone shaped by the rest of the world. I came here in an effort to find information. Where I am from there really is to talking or teaching of or for transpeople. Because of this I don't know a lot about correct terminology (I am very sorry if I say something that offends anyone, please correct me if I do) and I feel quite alone. Basically what I really want is someone who I can look to or mentor me, someone to talk to about things, and just people that I feel like I can open up to and relate to.

I appoligize, this is a bit of a ramble. I hope that I can make friends with people here and finally find someplace to belong

~Jess Aaryn~

[Guest JessAaryn]

I am currently 22 (23 in May).

I apologize, I ment "I am currently 21 (22 in May)."

~Jess Aaryn~

[Guest Michelle57]

HI Jess and welcome.

There are a lot of wonderful people here and I am sure you will find what you need.

I'm not sure that I can give much help as I am more than twice your age, and male to female. I have been married to two different women in my life so I know that " uncomfortable " feeling as I have always been attracted to guys but the gay relationships just didn't feel right or work for me.

I wish you the best of luck in finding your true self and the right path that works for you. I am sure you will find some good mentors here.

[Guest JessAaryn]

Thank you Michelle! (I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I wasn't on yesterday )

Yeah, the uncomfortable part is the worst. I can barely be near a guy without becoming uncomfortable and act awkwardly. It makes me angry with myself. But that will improve with time and adjustment.. Hopefully.

Thank you for listening Michelle, it means a lot.

~Jess/Aaryn~

[Guest Michelle57]

Yes it Jess. Me being female with a male body was really uncomfortable especially in Jr High and High School. I was and still am attracted to guys. I didn't see myself as gay, I saw myself as a female and I wanted a relationship with a guy as a female., so I completely understand your delima. It was so hard and confusing for me back in those days so I know what you are going thru at your age. Hang in there and never give up on your dreams. I am sure there are a few here that have been exactly where you are that has had the exact same situation and will be able to guide you along...

Michelle

[Guest JessAaryn]

Thank you for your optimism Michelle, you're a star

[Guest Sheridan]

Hi, I am Sheridan from Northern California. I am a writer (poetry, lyrics, and science fiction/fantasy), artist, and photographer. I am transgender not transexual and I am not planning to transition.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Sheridan,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

MaryEllen

[Guest Sheridan]

Hello Sheridan,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

MaryEllen

Thank you, MaryEllen.

[Guest issyze]

I'm Issy, or Isaac, a masculine non-binary person. I am 16, and will hopefully go on hormones soon to get a body I'm more comfortable with. Please use he or ze as my pronouns. I like animals, comics and punk music. I'm hoping to make some more transgender friends to keep me company. That's about it I guess. Hi, everyone!

[Guest Cindy24]

Hi everyone,I am so thankful for this community. My name is Cindy,I have been on HRT for 7 months and love the direction my life is finally going.I am a late starter at 45 but a life long gender confused individual. I was always confused why when I saw a cute girl I could never understand why I wanted to be her inst ead of wanting to be with her. i just put those feelings aside and went on with my male life. I am sure many of you traveled the same marriage,children and working life many girls travel. Never lost those feelings of want,that many girls do. It was not until I was in my early 30,s that I became very aware of transition.

[Guest So-kool]

Hello, I am a transgender woman pre-op

I have been out to my wife for about a year and have been on HRT for about a year and a half.

I live 90 percent as Male and get out a couple times a month.

I struggle with wanting to progress with transition but do not want to lose my wife in the process.

She does not accept trans and it is a constant battle for us to find happiness again now that I am out to her. We have been married more than 10 yrs.

[Guest Michelle57]

Hi So-kool

I am 56 now and I was about 40 when I found out that I was transgender, never even heard the word before then. My wife found out at that time as well. She was not happy so I went back to hiding it, trying to deal with it in my own way, didn't work. We finally split up a little over a year ago after 30 years of marriage. I started HRT back in December and have been full time female for almost two months now. I wrote her a letter telling her every thing since age 5 with all of my secrets and fears. I think she learned much about me that she never really knew and she contacted me about a month ago. We are the best of friends now that she says she knows me better from the letter and says she is finally starting to understand. She has been a big help in the last month with my transition and has stood by my side as I came out to my work place, the final frontier so to speak. I have had my name and gender marker leagally changed and she calls me by my correct name and pronouns. I may have lost my wife but I have gained the best friend that I could ever hope for. I don't know if this helps you in any way. But writing the letter was a way for me to take my time and completely open myself up in a way that she could understand because I knew if I tried to do it face to face that I would get confused and word it wrong or leave out important issues, it also gave her the privacy and time she needed to process the new information.

Hugs

Michelle

[tracy_j]

Hi Michelle

It's really nice when things happen in a good way. I am glad things are sorting themselves out and you have a good friend. Reading your post makes me feel better for the day!

Tracy x

[Guest wami913]

Hey, y'all!

I'm Allen. I haven't chosen a female identity, yet, so I have to use my birth name.

I'm in the Navy, have a roommate that doesn't like crossdressing (good old country boy), and a new friend (female) that doesn't understand it, so crossdressing is hard to do a lot.

I only started crossdressing earlier this year. I have so many dresses, wigs, and shoes, that I'm starting to run out of room. I'm just addicted to shopping for more and more cute and sexy dresses.

I'm currently in the Augusta, Georgia area. Hopefully, when I move to southeast Virginia later this year, I can have an apartment or hotel room by myself. That way, I can go en femme EVERYDAY! The only problem is that the ship I will be stationed on will move its homeport to Rota, Spain! I don't know how I will be able to do any crossdressing there.

I have a future goal (will have to wait until I'm out of the Navy) of actually going through with the therapy and surgery to become a fully feminine woman.

As for the current time (either in Augusta or Norfolk), I would like to get a crossdressing makeover.