No other choice?

[~Nova~]

I told the CEO of my the company I work for that I'm trans and that I have changed my name and would soon be Nova L. He told me that he accepted me and that he wanted to be the one to tell the rest of the company. I'm guessing for a few reasons. 1) To let everyone know that no harassment will be tolerated. 2) So he is showing me he accepts. 3) no idea.

I'm really torn. On one hand I want him to tell everyone so I won't get harassed, but on the other hand,

I know that he will make mistakes in what he says. I'm a transsexual. I don't like being called transgendered. I know that's petty, but it's important to me. Some other things too, like he gets sex confused with gender. (his son is gay) He likes to associate the two.

I think it's great that he wants to help, but I'm not sure I want it. I don't want him getting caught up in my problems.

I'm confused. I feel like daddy's little girl and he's is protecting me. Nice, but, no!

Really sad, really confused,

Autumn

[Guest KimberlyF]

I don't know how many people are involved or how directly you work with other people. Could a memo work?

[~Nova~]

The company is small, about 30 employees. We all work pretty close. It's a Dr office I was going to write an inner office email, butvwas told not to.

Autumn

[Drea]

Perhaps you can write a letter to co-workers, your own words for him to give out and let him say his stuff. That way you get your word out and meaning and he gets to reinforce the important things.

Such a letter should be work relevent, not get into too much personal stuff and should be geared to alleviating coworkers uncertainties about you.

[Guest Mia J]

Ask him if you can address the company when he makes the announcement. This way you can refine anything he says that may be incorrect. It is not uncommon for the HR department of companies to handle the first introduction. He probably just wants to look out for your best interest and make sure there are not issues with other employees.

Mia

[Guest John Chiv]

My feeling is that he wants to be the one to tell them so they realize that he is in charge, the leader and he is okay with it and that they need to follow suit. I think it is nice and he is being responsible. Ask him if you can address them afterwards or maybe even in a couple of days once they have had time to think. You may find it isn't an issue.

Think positive.

John

[Guest]

Hi Autumn,

I'm so happy that you're able to do this! Here in Washington, it's a no-brainer, but I know that Florida's laws are about the total opposite to ours. No matter what your boss's reasons, It's a win for you! Congratulations!

With my work situation, it would have been impossible for my boss to have personally contacted everyone, so a combination was used: she met with all of the employees that I work with on a day-to-day basis, and, at the same time, I mailed out a letter to all those same employees as well as my extended workgroups all over the hospital. And with the letter, I included my favorite transgender fact sheet, so that it wasn't left up to my boss to get all the verbiage right.

http://www.apa.org/topics/sexuality/transgender.pdf

I was going to post this on bulletin boards as well, but it wasn't necessary, would have been overkill to some extent.

Hopefully you can give your boss enough information so that he will get it right and you aren't having to do damage control afterwards.

All the best to you!

Love, Megan

[Carolyn Marie]

Autumn, I agree with those who say you should play a role. Actually, I strongly encourage it. When I came out at work, we did a Powerpoint presentation and had an MtF and FtM do instruction, and they talked about their own stories.

It was all fine and good, but I insisted on telling my own story, because I wanted my colleagues to look in my eyes and hear it from my lips, and know I was sincere and honest. I can tell you without a doubt it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Telling my own story made all the difference in the world. If you have the nerve, I would go for it. it isn't easy - I was on rubber legs, but the result was worth the fear.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Autumn:

Megan and Carolyn Marie gave you fantastic resources to show everybody. Start with your CEO. Look, I lived in Florida for 31 years having left only in May of 2010. In the major metros, it's fantastically better than it used to be. Also, you work with educated and accomplished people rather than Billy Bocephus Pardoo Bubba Pardee like you're apt to find in the rural areas there ... and in any state, actually.

We've been telling you that coming out would be okay, and I believe, for one, that you'll be just fine.

Go with the flow, and do keep us up-to-date, please.

Peace & Joy Lacey Lynne

[VickySGV]

For some reason, as frightening as it is, coming out is our own personal thing, sort of like a religious ceremony or just our own birthday, in fact, i guess we can call it a BIRTH day. Some might equate it with the first time we rode a bicycle, or anything else we can own all to ourselves. I was lucky when I came out at my work, because I was the supervisor of a group that needed to know, even though I did not present completely as female, but since it was an issue of both Workplace Harrassment issues that I had to teach, and Change Management that I needed to get in because of a work skills re-direction, and my impending retirement when the group would get a new supervisor it worked fine for me.

My thought for Autumn would be either to write a letter to your co-workers that puts out your private thoughts, not as if you expect the boss to screw it up, but almost like a love letter to a dear friend. The other idea would be a self playing powerpoint presentation using pictures and personal dialog in it to show what you want and feel.

[~Nova~]

I've slept on it. Mostly the people already know. Ive told so many already that only. A handful are still in the dark. I'm going to tell a few more in private and leave only those that I know are going to be trouble for the boss to tell. This way I ge tot say what I want and he gets to do what he wants.

I really want to make this a non issue. Just be me and get on with life, but I realize that these are our little tests. If we can go through all this, then ingress inreally am trans? Seems a little odd to me, bur whatever. I know that's just my thought, but it is how I feel. I have to pass all the tests before I can be real.

I'm sick over the whole thing. I keep thinking about those that have done it before me and I'm in awe. I'm not sure of how I feel about the whole thing either. The word embarrassment keeps popping into my head, but I'm not embarrassed, I'm ... That's it, I don't know.

I work two jobs. My second job will be easier, even tho it's a very large company, a hospital. I spoke with HR and they said all inhale to do is be within the dress code. I'm going to send out an email to them, but I don't really care what they think. I see them 4 days a month.

Ugh!

Autumn

[Guest]

I really want to make this a non issue. Just be me and get on with life, but I realize that these are our little tests. If we can go through all this, then ingress inreally am trans? Seems a little odd to me, bur whatever. I know that's just my thought, but it is how I feel. I have to pass all the tests before I can be real.

I'm sick over the whole thing. I keep thinking about those that have done it before me and I'm in awe. I'm not sure of how I feel about the whole thing either. The word embarrassment keeps popping into my head, but I'm not embarrassed, I'm ... That's it, I don't know.

Autumn

Hi Autumn,

Oh gawd that was hard! I felt like I'd come to work with no clothes on - had so opened my soul to hundreds of people. I think the word for me was "vulnerable". I still get that feeling, but it's less all the time.

There isn't a magic pill for it - you just have to cross the threshold with whatever courage you can muster. The good thing is that it won't be anywhere near what your fears imagine. You'll probably find unexpected support, and that even those who don't understand will begin to warm to you as your real personality begins to shine.

For me, many days at work end with me sitting in my car, crying. Not from sadness or shame, but from joy! It's that joy that gives me the courage - to finally be myself, even with that inherent vulnerability - nothing can compare!

Love, Megan