Out for a year now

[Guest Mariah_S]

So somebody wanted to know more about me and heres a little taste of my coming out. I came out to myself in summer 2010. That was by far the hardest part of everything Ive done so far, fully accepting that Im a different person than what society has been expecting me to be. Since then it has been a long journey to figure out who I truly am. A lot of it has been trial and error, and just putting myself out there. I had a lot of help from strangers to get started. From the people at the makeup stores, the wig shops, and the department stores to help me figure out what might be best for me. Sometimes I would end up with something and later ask myself "why in the world did I get this?" Other times it would be "I like the direction that Im going in, but its not quite what Im looking for." When I started school, I joined up with the local lgbt group and started making friends and coming out to them. Most of them probably didnt understand, but they didnt treat me any differently. In october, I made the leap and actually came out to some of my classes. I would have to say my friends who I had already told were more surprised than the ones who didnt know. I started off part time, due to lack of clothes and taking forever to get ready in the morning. The majority of people didnt treat me any different. One guy even waited to the end of class to ask what was up, just told him I was being myself. November I came out to my parents. Had some talks about "it" and some fights. Currently they have the mindset that it might be going, but they dont want to know about it or see it. In december i made the leap to fulltime. Weirdest thing that happened was a professor thought I was cheating on an exam because the name on the paper didnt match the gender presenting. He quickly put two and two together and apologized. In february, I finally signed up for therapy to help me further explore. The therapist was great, helping me discover more of who I am and helping solve other issues that I never thought of before. She never set boundaries or time lines, was just there for me. April was a pretty big month for me. I finally decided to take the push and get laser hair removal. I was tired of shaving, cutting my face, and having a 24hr shadow. I also switched my pronouns to female and decided to find a name that matched who i am. My friends were very helpful with that because one day it would be call me x, and the next day it would be call me y. Eventually we were all able to settle on Mariah. For july i got a sex change :-) Nothing physical, but a letter from my therapist authorizing the dmv to change my sex to female. Other than that, I have been pretty much living my life to the fullest. Ive thought long and hard about hrt and decided its not for me. Im not really a huge fan of meds even though I used to give them out to people every day. Lol. Thats a huge reason why it took me soo long to take on laser hair removal. Ive also thought long and hard about surgeries. One day it would be nice to my chest fixed so I could wear a top that actually fits properly without forms. I dont really feel the need for bottom surgery as that doesnt seem to effect my life. I kind of try to treat my life as "yep, Im different, so what." Ive recently started swimming again. Nobody gives a hoot that I shower and change in the womens locker room. Even get greetings from the people that know me. By far the biggest thing I learned is that it is more important to be me than what other people want me to be. So im on a journey to discover exactly who I am.

[Guest]

Hello Mariah,

Welcome to Laura's Playground!

You've made quite an impressive journey! I don't know what to say beyond that; most of us have difficulty transitioning without HRT, and you're doing it solo!

Keep up the good works, and if you've any secrets to pass on, we're all ears!

Love, Megan