This is how I went to work today

[~Nova~]

I had to go to the court house before work, so i was me. I figured I might as well just go in.

They told me change, or go home.

Autumn

[Cyndee]

First you look great Autumn !!

Your work environment is really suffering by not allowing you to dress this way, appropriate and professional. I do hope things improve for you there.

Hugs

Cindy -

[Guest Amethyst_Redemption]

*HUGS

[~Nova~]

I'm surprisingly fine with it. At least I know where I stand.

In a short while my name will be legal and I will get another job.

BTW, I know I look horrid in pictures. I look much better IRL.

Autumn

[Guest kylie666]

If that was me i would be sitting at home crying all day

Maybe the dress was to short? And they have some dress code about that...

[Guest roxannemariska]

Don't think anyone sees themselves as not horrid in their own shots. If there are please let me know.

Thanks for posting this. Having trouble juggling all this craziness in my life right now.

[Carolyn Marie]

You look fine, Autumn. It's too bad about work - I guess they really aren't ready to accept you as you want to be, and if there are no corporate rules or state laws that protect your rights, then I agree its time to find another place to work. Hang in there.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Ney'ite]

They told me change, or go home.

Honestly Autumn? Going by the picture you posted, as soon as you mentioned "Court" - my first and really only thought was perhaps it was some dress code. If I may be so nosy, did they say *what* to change into or anything other than that, or simply go change or go home? Coming from the Law Enforcement field, depending on the Court, we were not allowed to show up in the Court room in uniform, but had to appear in "street clothes."

[Guest Krisina]

First of all you look great Autumn!

I also love your hair.

Things will get better. Name change, new work environment with people seeing you for the real you, your true self.

Krisina

[JenniferB]

Autumn,

I can understand the way you are being treated at work, even though it isn't right. One is that everyone is used to you in male mode, so very uncomfortable seeing you as a woman. I don't know if you are around customers, but it would be a concern for the owner to lose business because of the fear customers wouldn't accept you.

I am starting to have the same problem in going to work in male mode. At least I knew it will end after the name change. Then my employer will change all the paperwork and introduce me as Jennifer. And from that day on I have to dress professionally as Jennifer. I can't wait.

What I am sorry about is that you will have to change employment. I know that will be a big hassle, especially balancing your time with your current employer and time searching for other employment. Obviously I don't know your situation well enough but wonder how much of a risk you are taking that your current employer will find out before you are ready.

I know you can handle yourself (probably better than me in the same circumstance) and pray your change goes as smoothly as possible.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

[Guest Ney'ite]

*** Part 2 ***

Sorry but I thought of this after I posted my previous comment. Autumn, and my apologies if I misunderstood, was it *Court* who told you to change or go home, or was it *Work* who said that to you?

If it was Court, my previous comment covered that about a dress code issue.

If it was Work, I would dare say your Work has issues. I wonder what grounds they have for that? American Eagle Outfitters clothing store was sued and lost (2010) when they tried to do a similar thing. They ended up having to rewrite their employee handbook policy.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

If they told me to go home and change, I would......

And come back in a shorter dress...and higher heels.....

But, that's just me....

Dee Jay

[Guest Krisina]

I'm surprisingly fine with it. At least I know where I stand.

In a short while my name will be legal and I will get another job.

BTW, I know I look horrid in pictures. I look much better IRL.

Autumn

I too wondered at first if Autum was talking about court telling her to go home or work.

I got the impression from this post it was work that told her to go home and get changed and she knew where things stood. I think it was work.

Krisina

[~Nova~]

I was at court to have my name changed. The paperwork I submitted was missing some info and I wanted to get it in ASAP. When I got to the courthouse it was already packed and I didn't want to wait so I went to work. They (work) told me to change or go home.

Internally, it's killing me. I'll survive.

Externally, they get the old HIM back. Mean, nasty and just barely human. Sorry, but if I have to be HIM, I'm going to be HIM and that's how he was.

I'll get a new job. I'll continue to thrive.

Autumn

[Guest Dana Sharon]

Well, if you went to court and they told you to go home and change don't be sad. I remember I went to court with my mom because of my school district stuff, and there was this women who had a black dress and her dress was like yours and they criticize her for waring that. They said that court was like church and that was a inappropriate dress, and then they asked her if she would go to church in that dress and then she said no. And that doesn't look like a business dress. So don't be sad... You look very pretty and that dress is FANTASTIC!

[JJ]

Stay strong and stay mad Autumn. They way they treated you was unfair.

I hope you find something new and better very soon .

By the way you look great in the dress!

Hug

Johnny

[Guest]

Hi Autumn,

I had to wait all day to see your picture - I'm too stupid for my smart phone to get pictures - so, like, what the h___ was wrong???

It's okay to come to work in a bad mood from being constricted into the wrong gender role, but a nice dress and a happy woman coworker is too much?

I do hope that there's another job on your horizon and soon. You deserve better!

Love, Megan

[Guest Svenna]

Autumn,

You look GREAT!!

Sorry about the hurt feelings at work. Some people suck...

You really do look good in that dress...

Love, Svenna

[Guest JustShelly]

Are dresses the norm for other woman at you work, if not just try to blend in better

[MackenzieB]

Maybe it was the open toe shoes? Where I work (due to my job) we're supposed to wear steel toe shoes or boots. Oooo... that's gonna look sexy!

[Paula ult]

Autumn, we are always critical as to how we look, i am the same way, while you look ok for court, it is probably a bit much for work right now since you just came out to everyone, how do the rest of the women at work dress, if they dress as you did it may be a bit much for them and your boss to handle right now, i know you probably don't want to hear this but taking a step back then taking baby steps by adding something more feminine each week or so till you are dressed the same as the other women at work, it would be so gradual probably nobody would notice.

In this economy if you have a job keep it at least until you find another one.

Paula

[Guest Daiyu Hurst]

Autumn,

I thought you looked great in that pic. A lightweight accessory belt would turn that into a stunning outfit!

[~Nova~]

I have had time to reflect and think back. The boss never saw me,I text her and asked if I could go in like that. She told me to change into scrubs, she never said I needed to be him. I must have overreacted in my paranoid state. I always keep clean scrubs in the office, so changing was not an issue.

I think it's time for a face to face with the bosses. If they need time to process, I can wait.

Autumn

Oh, thanks for all the sweet compliments.

[Carolyn Marie]

Well, that puts a whole different spin on it! I like the sound of that much better.

So, um, have you got pink scrubs?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Ney'ite]

Oh goodness yes, Carolyn, that certainly did put a whole different spin on things and definitely leaves room for possible acceptance from Autumn's work!