My response ro my worst fears coming true

[Guest Elena]

Well, I have avoided coming out to my sister because I knew exactly how she would react. Condemnation, judgeing me according to her fundamentalist christian beliefs, hurling bible verses at me out of context in a way intended to hurt me. She lived up to all those expectations, unfortunately. I have been a bit at odds with her over our differing belief systems for several years, and she took my coming out as the final proof that her devil guides my every thought.

She has always been one of the most important people in my life, and I have spent several days trying to decide how to respind in a way that at least shows the door is always open without compromising myself. What follows is what I finally decided to send her.

Sis,

What I've been asking you for years is to respect that I can do nothing more or less than follow my own light as I see it and as I understand it. You have repeatedly disregarded my request and attempted to impose your beliefs on me in ways that were hurtful and disrespectful. I can't continue to have that conversation with you. If you have a problem with me, that is your problem to deal with. If you try to make it mine I will have no choice but to cease all contact with you.

You asked me "What if you are wrong?" Well, that is my choice, and I can ask you the same question. What if YOU are wrong? And you can tell me you are filled by the holy spirit and so know with all your heart and soul that you aren't. Well my dearest sister, I have that same sort of certainty, and that is what I ask you to be respectful of. I most certainly do not try to impose my beliefs on anyone else. Should someone be interested I will happily explain them as I tried to with you last night. If they should ring of truth to that person I will gladly welcome them to walk my path with me for as long as it suits them and share what wisdom I have gained along the way, and look for what new wisdom they may be able to share. That is all I believe any of us have the right to do with regards to someone else's relationship with the divine.

You may not agree, or understand, you may be afraid for me, but it is my decision to make. If you feel you have to interceed in some way, you can make an open invitation for me to join you. I may accept or decline as I see fit, but if I accept it will be as myself nothing more or less, and I will not accept any conditions laid on how or when or if I must accept an invitation.

I very much hope you can find it in your heart to see that though my way is not yours it is no less meaningful to me. My needs are different and so my light is different, and I can no less follow it than you yours. If at some time our lights shine on the same road or even just cross paths I hope we can meet and walk or sit together with nothing but love between us.

I love you dearly sis, I have repeatedly put myself in harms way for you with no reward expected and gladly bore that pain to save you what I could. I understand your motivations are similar, but you have hurt me instead of saved me from harm. Please, please, no more!

[Guest Donna_Marie]

Your post was beautiful and heartbreaking and reminds me so much of what is going on in my own life. Thank you so much for posting this,

it will touch many peoples hearts that are going down the same path. I do truely hope that you and your sister find the path of respect,love and peace.

Much love and hugs

Donna_Marie

[~Nova~]

It's nice that you can open your mind and your heart to your sister and invite her back into your life. Your words were beautiful and spoken from the heart. You cannot go wrong when you speak that way.

Best of luck to you

Autumn

[Guest MeredithL]

Elena

I don't think your letter could have been any better. You stated your position in a very direct,succinct yet respectful manner. I hope if I'm ever in that situation that I can react in such a loving,respectful, and self-affirming way.

Thanx for sharing that

Meredith

P.S. (((((AUTUMN)))))

[Guest Amethyst_Redemption]

I am so very sorry you had to endure that. I hope she comes around.

[VickySGV]

I hope it works, it is beautiful, and it portrays you as a strong person in your own life beliefs ready always to welcome her back into your life on terms of shared respect, but always with unconditonal love..

Sadly its the type of thing I was trying to write 4 months ago to my sister who was the same way, with the same reasoning, and same sense of control over my life, but mine took the chance of reconciliation away by killing herself last July.

"My faith is not my works, and my works are not my faith, but by my works you shall know my faith."

[Carolyn Marie]

Elena, your letter was honest, heartfelt and emotional. If there is any room in her heart for you, she can't help but be moved. You did a wonderful job, hon. I hope she hears you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest John Chiv]

Very heartfelt letter Elena. I do hope she reaches out to you.

John

[Guest Risu]

Your letter is wonderful Elena. I hope your sister will take time to read it carefully and take some of it to heart.

Best wishes to you in this hard time.

*Hugs*

~Risu.

[JJ]

Elena,

That is a beautiful letter. Your strength and love shine through it. And it makes me sad to feel the pain and potential loss that comes through as well.

You have done your best. I very much hope your sister can accept and you can remain close.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Talon]

Elena, your letter is so beautiful. And you are so honest. You know who you are and what you have to do and your strength and certainty shines through so perfectly. You follow your heart and your mind is open. You have such a heartfelt, personal and honest, non-judgmental approach to this and you give your sister every offer you can to agree to learn to live with this and be at ease. I really, truly believe you are doing all that any person can do. You have told her how you feel and what path you have to take and that kind of honesty is so respectable!! You impress me

I sincerely wish all the best for you and I hope we can support you the best we can in here!!

Hugs, smiles, thumbs up and good thoughts,

Talon.

[Guest Mia J]

Hello Elena,

Responding with the love and respect you did was wonderful. This is what I think the great teacher Jesus came here to teach us. Not teach us to judge.

I find it sad when someone is so hung up in the dogma of their religion that they end up closing their hearts on those who love them.

There is hope for you and your sister. It just may take some time for her to understand.

Mia

[Guest Gwendolyn Elizabeth]

elena, I hope she responds favorably to your letter. my sister is very disapproving of the real me also, but I did not expect much else from her. I might have to use some of what you wrote myself. I hope you don't mind