Is it wrong that I feel guilty?

[Guest AndyBCM]

Hi I'm a 19 year old trans guy right in the middle of transitioning or rather at the start. I'm pre t but i live, dress etc. 24/7 as male with all the name/pronouns etc.

Thing is i go to this youth group/support group for trans kids aged 14-23. Its unbelievably great and literally talked me away from the ledge but in the past few weeks two of the guys that regularly go have been thrown out of their homes aka disowned. Ones the same age as me and the other is 18 and just started university.

The reason why i feel guilty is my parents pay for therapy which I've been going to steadily since march, they pay for my apartment, my food, my clothes everything! they are supportive with everything LGBT related and all that jazz too. I also still enjoy spending time with my parents/brothers vising them, traveling the 3 and 1/2 hour bus journey home to them (I'm half way across the country to go to college) but then their my friends, my trans pears as it were.

I guess i'm just lucky i have an accepting family but it isn't perfect it is definitely the elephant in the room that's never really talked about and when for example my first letter in my new name came in the post my mam was devastated and balled her eyes out.

i did offer one of the guys if he needed a place to crash then he could stay at mine anytime. Still i feel really guilty and don't really know how to deal with the situation. plus i feel bad that i'm financially depenedant on my parents when it comes to all this when the guys are working to support themselves and there transitioning.

Any suggestions/thought on any of this?

[Guest Hlali]

As long as you realize how good of a situation you are in compared to other trans people, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. Just do your best to help others when you can. If you don't have a job, maybe consider getting one to help pay for your bills and be a little more independent? Or, if nothing else, volunteer and help other people who are even less privileged.

My two cents, anyhow -hug-

[Drea]

Doesn't seem like any reason to be guilty. You are not taking from these other people, you aren't creating the circumstances by which they have their troubles. In fact your offering some help which you aren't obligcated to d.

[Guest KayJo]

Andy dear,

I'd say you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your family have the resources to support you at College, and they seem to basically accept and support your gender transition. Some of your friends are not so fortunate and its natural to be concerned and feel empathy for friends in difficulty, but you really shouldn't feel guilty, its not your fault they have troubles.

If you really feel that life has been too kind to you consider volunteering at your youth group or elsewhere. But that's up to you.

Good luck with everything,

Kay,

xx

[VickySGV]

The way this oldster sees it, you have a job ahead of you, but you are not ready for it yet. Your conscience and your caring attitude have identified things that need change. They have seen first hand what others go through, and while you are saddened by it, its not your time to do much, since what really needs doing is something you must prepare yourself for during college and early adulthood. Take your advantages and good fortune into the broader community when you are ready and show a productive, proud and happy person to the whole community. Relish your priviledge, but point it in the direction of showing people that a Trans Person is an asset to their lives, and not a freak or monster. There is not much you can do at the minute but take what you can to be the best person of your dreams. In the years ahead it will help, not your current friends, but future trans and cis people.