Big Scary Coming Out

[JJ]

The one place I have avoided since I started transition is church. Not with any real reason-it's a Methodist church and they have had more than one pastor transition while continuing to lead a congregation. Their official church motto is "Open Minds, Open Hearts, Open Doors" and that has been borne out in my experiences there. But they are the main people I care about in this town too except for a couple of friends I told 10 months ago. And my granddaughter loves this church and goes every Sunday.

But I stopped going when we had only one vehicle my daughter drove to work on Sundays. Then I started transitioning and I didn't go back. Till today.

My granddaughter was playing trumpet for the congregation and I couldn't miss it. Besides it is time. The woman and her husband who take my granddaughter to Sunday School and church already know but I didn't think anyone else did. And it turns out that woman who is not a native has a trans aunt so she was accepting.

Anyway I was really apprehensive. There was the added complication that I weighed almost 150 lbs more last time I was there and my hair came to the middle of my back. I have gone to a church dinner once since I cut my hair and had lost about 70lbs but didn't have my hair as short as it is now or look as masculine.

When I went to the Halloween trick or treat there with my granddaughter no one recognized me. So I was also worried that I would have to keep explaining as people welcomed me to the church not realizing they know me. (Yes, the change is that dramatic-I've had 2 people who know me well refuse to believe I was me till I talked to them for awhile). It wouldn't be right to act like I was a stranger or a new person.

Anyway it turned out that some didn't recognize me but I am sure that those who did already had been told -not too surprising since the woman who does know is VERY active at church as is her husband and I had not asked them to keep it confidential. So when my granddaughter gave me a hug before the service they put 2 & 2 together. Everyone was warm and friendly. One man, who is autistic, did introduce himself and when I told him I knew him and I used to be my granddaughter's grandmother instead of grandfather said "Nothing wrong with that", but moved to another pew and I didn't see him again. I understand that given the nature of Autism.

Otherwise it was more or less a non event . One woman who has always been a favorite and very friendly never did realize who I was and I had no chance to tell her.

I feel much better. Now I can start going again and relax. All that stress & worry was wasted - As usual

Johnny

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Johnny:

Thanks so much for posting your church-return story!

This made my day, and I'm grateful to you. See? No biggie ... even in your small, conservative town! I believe it would do you wolrds of good, indeed, to reconnect with friends and your church family. At Thanksgiving week yet! Gotta love it. Peace and joy to you, brother! Wonderful, wonderful story and news!

Lacey

[Carolyn Marie]

Johnny, I am so thrilled to hear how well things went. I'm not that surprised, as I know how much you are respected within your community. They know the person you are, and expect that you are the same person, just with a different appearance.

While fears are sometimes born out, most of the time things work out much better than we even hoped. That has been my experience, and the experience of so many people here.

Things are coming together for you, Johnny, in so many good ways. That makes me very, very happy.

Love

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Risu]

Johnny, good for you! It took a lot of bravery to get back out there and go somewhere almost everyone there had known you once upon a time. You are a wonderful grandpa and your grand daughter is very lucky!

I hope this means you will continue going. Transition is a spiritual journey, but it doesn't have to be a solitary one.

*Hugs*

~Risu.

[Guest Mia J]

Johnny that is wonderful for you. I know how important it can be to be able to share with your spiritual community. I think the Methodist are just great. My spouse's choir practices at a Methodist church that advertises as being open to the LBGT community and has lots of supportive literature in the lobby.

I have been coming out to my spiritual community at various events for the last year. Almost everyone has been open and accepting with only a few exceptions. I think that it is sometimes our own fears that hold us back.

Mia