Coming out to my boyfreind

[Guest stkristina13]

Ok so me and my mom were talking and we both think it's time I telly boyfriend that I'm transgendered. I've been dating him for about 3 weeks and we haven't kissed or anything like that so its bout time I tell him before it gets serious. I figure if I tell him and he does somethig like tries to embarass me, I will not be going to school with him next year I will be going to a bigger school anyway. But I'm really nervous, I like him, and I didn't tell him at first because I was afraid to, I know it was dumb but I can't change that I have to tell him. So I should I do this, how should I tell, where should I tell him, i want to be safe so any advice is appreciated. Should it be in a letter or in person. Uhhh I don't know, I wish I didn't have to things like this, let me know any similar experiences or anything that might be able to help.

[JJ]

Can you invite him to your house for a movie or something with you parents home but not in the same room of course? That way you have privacy and help at hand in a worse case scenario. Also he would be in your territory and things like that can be psychologically important as far as how people react in a given situation.

It can be very hard to predict an outcome but I wish you all the best. There is more and more understanding in the world. I hope he is one of the good guys that way.

Johnny

[Guest Robin Winter]

I agree with Johnny 100%.

[Guest Risu]

I recently came out to a guy that I liked and he was fine with it. We haven't met in person yet but, even when I told him I really liked him he said he liked me too.

Coming out to a boyfriend can be hard, well to anyone really but especially someone we really like. Maybe he will surprise you though. I would suggest something like Johnny said. Invite him to your house with someone in the house with you somewhere in case things turn sour. Don't make a big deal about it or act like it's some negative or awful thing. Just let him know that you were born male but that you have always been a girl inside and you are now changing the outside. The reason I say tell him you were born male is because not many people understand what Transsexual or Transgender means and they may think it's some kind of fetish or who knows what. Be clear, so there is no room for confusion or misunderstanding.

I hope everything goes well. Be safe about this okay? Don't do this somewhere you're totally alone. In public at least but still this may not be the best idea since he could humiliate you in public should he get upset over it. Hopefully he won't.

Good luck!

*Hugs*

~Risu.

[Guest thomasina uk]

I am confused here, is your boyfriend a gay guy that thinks you're always male or is he a straight guy that thinks you're a cis girl?

Unless its the first, I wouldnt be able to provide any insight sorry. The only experience I had was when I met a guy that liked me at a club and invited me over to his place (he was gay). I told him at the time I was a CD, he did'nt take it very well and wouldn't see me again.

I do think its important to be honest from the onset in these cases though, so he isnt led under any false pretences about things like family planning etc.

T

[Guest stkristina13]

Thank you for your advice everyone and i think i m gonna do what you said johnny.

@Thomasina he is a straight guy that thinks i am a cis girl

[~Nova~]

I would tak this throuh with your parents and maybe even your therapist. Unfortunetely this could go horribly wrong, especially if his parents feel he has been lied to.

I really dont have any advice other than to say good luck.

Autumn

[VickySGV]

As far as parents go, don't put them down at all. If your parents know his, then they could run interference for you by letting the boy's parents know about the situation. Also, at your age, even "dating" relationships can take on various types. A good book that explores that by the way is Almost Perfect by Brian Katcher. It was actually on the teen books shelf in my local book store.

[Guest Nightgirl]

I think you are already very wise and in your heart you know how you should tell him. Go with your instincts, but tell him in your own environment like Johnny said. Also after you tell and you need support have mom close at hand. And please let us know how it goes. Good luck and I hope all goes great. He would be a fool not to hold on to such a wonderful young lady.

Also I just told my son two weeks ago and he is having a hard time but he is willing to learn more and that is all I can ask. Bless you and your mom and family.

"Hugs" Gail ( I was Lillian now Gail )

[Guest stkristina13]

Thank you everyone for your advice, i've spoken with him through text today and he is coming over tomorrow after school to hang out, and my uncle will be here just in case something happens. I will definitly tell you immediately after how it goes. im really nervous, wish me luck

xoxo

[Guest Jamiexo]

Good luck Kristina i wish all the best for you. hopefully all will work out just fine...

[Guest Nala]

Well I think you should tell him as soon as you know you can trust him. If you'd tell him much later, he might feel you lied to him. So yeah I think good you're thinking of telling him. You can't go around that. Maybe when you tell him, your relation with him will only get stronger? Good luck and I hope things will turn out well for you.

~ Sanne

[Guest musicalice]

I think you're doing the right thing, for your peace of mind as well as your relationship. (says me hehe). Best of luck

[JJ]

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Hopefully he can see the beautiful girl you are and the courage it takes to live your life as well as be honest with him

Hug!

Johnny